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Old 03-06-2014, 02:52 PM  
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Scientists Build Orgasm Machine For Women
CHARLOTTE, N.C. (CBS Charlotte) – Scientists have patented a new machine that will provide orgasms for women at the push of a button.

A little smaller than a packet of cigarettes, the machine is designed to be a medical implant that uses electrodes to trigger an orgasm. The device would help some women who suffer from orgasmic dysfunction.

During the operation, a patient would remain conscious so that a surgeon could correctly pinpoint the right nerves to fit the electrodes in a patient’s spinal cord. Then, a signal generator would be connected which would be most likely implanted under the skin of a patient’s buttocks.

Stuart Meloy, a surgeon at Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, N.C., came up with idea by accident.

“I was placing the electrodes and suddenly the woman started exclaiming emphatically,” he said to Newscientist. “I asked her what was up and she said, ‘You’re going to have to teach my husband to do that’.”

Meloy explained that the idea is that orgasms could happen at the push of a button when the implant could be triggered by a hand-held remote control.

However, he explained the treatment is intended to be used in the most serious of orgasmic dysfunction cases because the device is as invasive as a pacemaker.

Medical trials will be conducted by a Minneapolis-based company later this year.
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Old 03-06-2014, 03:57 PM   #31
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I think they already have one of these. It's called the sybian.
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Old 03-06-2014, 03:58 PM   #32
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[I]Of course, I've never been with a woman who doesn't suffer orgasmic dysfunction.
"The finest trick of the devil is to persuade you that he does not exist."
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Old 03-06-2014, 03:58 PM   #33
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I think they already have one of these. It's called the sybian.
Is that the saddle looking thing with the remote controlled dildo?...
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:00 PM   #34
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"The finest trick of the devil is to persuade you that he does not exist."
I didn't mention which kind of dysfunction.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:01 PM   #35
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Meloy explained that the idea is that orgasms could happen at the push of a button when the implant could be triggered by a hand-held remote control.
So I don't understand why someone wouldn't just sit in their house and keep the button depressed for eternity.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:02 PM   #36
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So I don't understand why someone wouldn't just sit in their house and keep the button depressed for eternity.
Women get bored more quickly than cats...
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:04 PM   #37
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Women get bored more quickly than cats...
We have more shit to do than cats.
I always fall asleep right after.
Like, RIGHT after.
No cuddling.
Go watch TV.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:05 PM   #38
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Is that the saddle looking thing with the remote controlled dildo?...
Yeah.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:06 PM   #39
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We have more shit to do than cats.
I always fall asleep right after.
Like, RIGHT after.
No cuddling.
Go watch TV.
Other than the fact we'd never get along long term and we agree on almost nothing you're PERFECT!
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:06 PM   #40
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Is that the saddle looking thing with the remote controlled dildo?...

Yes. I wonder if those things are as good as they seem (based on internet pron which, of course, I have never actually watched).
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:07 PM   #41
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Yeah.
They were like $5,000 in the early 90's.

Er....so I hear.

I'd like to think they're much more affordable now.

It'd make my sundays a breeze...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:09 PM   #42
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Other than the fact we'd never get along long term and we agree on almost nothing you're PERFECT!
It would be one helluva 12 to 14 minutes.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:12 PM   #43
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It would be one helluva 12 to 14 minutes.
If I take a hydrocodone first I can push it to 50.

Well, I'm not sure if its just that, the beer, or a combination of both but **** it.
Spin the wheel - take a ride...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:13 PM   #44
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I wonder if you could rig it up to a Madden Game where it turns on every time you score. It would be a great way to get the wife interested in gaming.
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Old 03-06-2014, 04:16 PM   #45
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I wonder if you could rig it up to a Madden Game where it turns on every time you score. It would be a great way to get the wife interested in gaming.
I see absolutely no reason why you couldn't.

In fact, I'm almost positive you could with a simple webcam, the right Raspberry Pi Ultimate Starter Kit, and way more time than anyone outside of Clay has...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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