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Old 11-14-2013, 10:55 AM  
Fat Elvis Fat Elvis is offline
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Do you know how to pee into a urinal?

You may be doing it wrong.

Now you can learn the right way to take a wizz.

http://sc.news.yahoo.com/best-way-pe...111300267.html

Quote:
The best way to pee into a urinal, according to science
By Chris Gayomali | The Week – Fri, Nov 8, 2013


You're probably doing it wrong.

Now that we know the best way to get a bartender's attention, let's turn our attention toward the inevitable restroom break that will soon follow.

The sad truth is that men's restrooms aren't the most sanitary places, largely because adult human males are not very good at urinating, as if the male brain briefly shuts down whenever hands and penises join together.

But fear not! There is hope. Tackling the dire problem of urinal splash-back, a team of fluid dynamics researchers from Brigham Young University — who call themselves the "whizz-kids" — set out to discover the absolute best spot for dudes to aim at when they're relieving themselves.

Now, perhaps you're the kind of guy who aims for the blue urinal cake at the bottom as if it were a Space Invader. Or maybe you take a step or two back to test your flow's strength. If you do either of these, I must kindly ask that you stop immediately. You're making a mess.

Both methods are prone to creating splash-back, which gets urine all over your shoes, and more embarrassingly, the front of your pants. Peepee pants are not a good look. Plus, you're leaving rude little puddles for the rest of us to awkwardly plant our feet around, depriving us of the basic dignity of a sturdy base. "We've all been in disgusting toilets with puddles on the floor," researcher Tadd Truscott told BBC News, "these places are a breeding ground for bacteria."

That splash is due to a fluid dynamics term called the Rayleigh Instability. Basically your stream loses power about 6 inches from the urethra, scattering your spray into messy droplets.

With a little effort, you can change. The physicists — using a nozzle and thankfully not the real thing to simulate how liquid flows from the male member — tested all sorts of peeing angles to figure out the safest way to urinate, and recorded the results on high-speed cameras. This, according to the study, is the optimal way to pee:

…men should stand as close to the urinal as possible they advise. Also helpful is directing the stream to hit the back of the urinal at a downward angle. That creates less splash-back and the drops that do bounce, head downwards into the urinal drain. Conversely, to prevent messing one's trousers (or angering neighbors) they suggest men not spray directly into the urinal or into the pool that forms at the bottom of the urinal, both cause a lot of splash-back. [PhysOrg]

SEE ALSO: Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and the Tea Party's 2016 problem

So. Stand real close, aim for the back at a slightly downward angle, and let things flow naturally down the porcelain like a Zen waterfall. The guy next in line will thank you.
Here is a helpful video demonstration, too:



(FWIW, I thought the "SEE ALSO" was hilarious.)
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:16 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by Fish View Post
The key is tricking the penis.
The good news is that that particular organ is easily fooled.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:17 PM   #32
mikeyis4dcats. mikeyis4dcats. is offline
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Originally Posted by Canofbier View Post
Ehh, I usually just go to the stalls when I can and sit down to piss, societal norms be damned. Assuming that some moronic asshole hasn't sprayed piss all over the seat, it's cleaner. It's also closer to the biologically intended "bathroom squat" than standing is, so far less risk of extra drippage.


a public toilet seat is cleaner than peeing in a urinal?
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:20 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeyis4dcats. View Post


a public toilet seat is cleaner than peeing in a urinal?
I'm not talking about bacteria, more about not getting piss all over myself or my clothes. I peace-out of any stall that doesn't look freshly cleaned.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:23 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Donger View Post
The good news is that that particular organ is easily fooled.
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yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:27 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by Fish View Post
The key is tricking the penis. You have to grab your penis and start making the motion like you're tucking it back into your pants. Then at the last second before it's actually in your pants, whip it back out and take care of those last few drops.
ahh. the 'ol tricklin' dick trick.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:47 PM   #36
CrazyPhuD CrazyPhuD is offline
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I know how to properly poop in a urinal. Does that count?
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:50 PM   #37
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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I've done a side-shot for years. Banking it off the side = no splash-back
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:53 PM   #38
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canofbier View Post
Ehh, I usually just go to the stalls when I can and sit down to piss, societal norms be damned. Assuming that some moronic asshole hasn't sprayed piss all over the seat, it's cleaner. It's also closer to the biologically intended "bathroom squat" than standing is, so far less risk of extra drippage.
Wha?

In my experience, there is exactly one time per day when there ISN'T piss all over the seat--the time between it being cleaned and the time when the first customer steps up.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:55 PM   #39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
The key is tricking the penis. You have to grab your penis and start making the motion like you're tucking it back into your pants. Then at the last second before it's actually in your pants, whip it back out and take care of those last few drops.
You are the smartest man alive!
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:56 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fish View Post
The key is tricking the penis. You have to grab your penis and start making the motion like you're tucking it back into your pants. Then at the last second before it's actually in your pants, whip it back out and take care of those last few drops.
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Old 11-14-2013, 01:57 PM   #41
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Originally Posted by Donger View Post
The first goal should be to ACTUALLY GET THE URINE INTO THE URINAL. I don't think I've ever used a pubic restroom where the floor in front of the urinal isn't soaking wet with pee....

Men are ****ing disgusting.
I'm no clean freak, but I hate even walking in there. It's like the ****ing animals using the place aren't even trying.
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Old 11-14-2013, 02:00 PM   #42
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Was at a stand up comedy club once and the comedian was talking about guys using hydraulics to wash away the shit stains in toilets. He said "there isn't a guy in this room who hasn't done that."

Anyone want to deny it?
I deny knowing what that means, but it doesn't really sound like anything I've done.
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Old 11-14-2013, 02:02 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by Donger View Post
The first goal should be to ACTUALLY GET THE URINE INTO THE URINAL. I don't think I've ever used a pubic restroom where the floor in front of the urinal isn't soaking wet with pee....
Airports are the worst. You have to stand there, not get your bag wet and figure out how to pee without standing in the giant lake at the base of the pisser.
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Old 11-14-2013, 02:04 PM   #44
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Just use the sinks, they look like better urinals thesedays anyways. You may get a few strange looks but piss on them.
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Old 11-14-2013, 02:22 PM   #45
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Airports are the worst. You have to stand there, not get your bag wet and figure out how to pee without standing in the giant lake at the base of the pisser.
Indeed. I finally lost it yesterday after realizing I wouldn't make it home without having to take a leak. Went into the bathroom and had to wait. While waiting, three guys came right out of the crappers and bypassed the sinks. I couldn't help it. I yelled in my best Dad voice, "Wash your filthy ****ing hands! With soap!" Two of the guys stopped and sheepishly washed their hands. The other guy just walked right past me. I did get some applause though, which was admittedly weird.
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