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Old 03-31-2013, 10:35 PM  
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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Bitter Scalia Leaves U.S.

The New Yorker – by ANDY BOROWITZ

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Justice Antonin Scalia dropped a bombshell on the Supreme Court today, announcing his decision to resign from the Court “effective immediately” and leave the United States forever.

Calling this week “by far the worst week of my life,” Justice Scalia lashed out at his fellow-Justices and the nation, saying, “I don’t want to live in a sick, sick country that thinks the way this country apparently thinks.”

Justice Scalia said that he had considered fleeing to Canada, “but they not only have gay marriage but also national health care, which is almost as evil.”

He said the fact that nations around the world recognizing same-sex marriage are “falling like deviant dominoes” would not deter him from leaving the United States: “There are plenty of other countries that still feel the way I do. I’ll move to Iran if I have to.”

Throwing off his robe in a dramatic gesture, Justice Scalia reserved his harshest parting shot for his fellow-Justices, screaming, “Damn you! Damn each and every one of you to hell! You call yourself judges? That’s a good one. You’re nothing but animals!”

Breathing heavily after his tirade, he turned to Justice Clarence Thomas and said, “Except you, Clarence. Are you coming with me?”

Justice Thomas said nothing in reply.

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blog...#ixzz2P9S6tf17

WOW I find this quite shocking really.........Did I miss a thread about this or is it completely fabricated?
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Old 03-31-2013, 10:38 PM   #2
Pitt Gorilla Pitt Gorilla is offline
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Seems legit.
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Old 03-31-2013, 10:39 PM   #3
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Gorilla View Post
Seems legit.
It has to be complete bs....or April Fools day a tad bit early?
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"If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." - Thomas Jefferson
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Old 03-31-2013, 10:42 PM   #4
BigRedChief BigRedChief is offline
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I thought Aprils Fools was tomorrow?
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Attempted troll/humor while discussing potential child abuse
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If it's effective, who are you, me, or anybody else to call it abuse? I worked with a guy back in Moberly who would shove a finger up his son's ass each time he had anything worse than a C on his report card. If he came home with 2 D's and an F, that's 3 fingers (and this was a big dude). Does that sound hideous and disgusting? Absolutely. Did the kid ever get anything worse than a C after this rule was implemented? Not a chance.

I'm not saying it's morally right or wrong, but does it make the child because of it? Think about that for a second.
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Old 03-31-2013, 10:44 PM   #5
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigRedChief View Post
I thought Aprils Fools was tomorrow?
This is satire, I have to say i'm quite shocked it's from the New Yorker though.
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"If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." - Thomas Jefferson
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Old 03-31-2013, 11:11 PM   #6
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KILLER_CLOWN View Post
The New Yorker – by ANDY BOROWITZ

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Justice Antonin Scalia dropped a bombshell on the Supreme Court today, announcing his decision to resign from the Court “effective immediately” and leave the United States forever.

Calling this week “by far the worst week of my life,” Justice Scalia lashed out at his fellow-Justices and the nation, saying, “I don’t want to live in a sick, sick country that thinks the way this country apparently thinks.”

Justice Scalia said that he had considered fleeing to Canada, “but they not only have gay marriage but also national health care, which is almost as evil.”

He said the fact that nations around the world recognizing same-sex marriage are “falling like deviant dominoes” would not deter him from leaving the United States: “There are plenty of other countries that still feel the way I do. I’ll move to Iran if I have to.”

Throwing off his robe in a dramatic gesture, Justice Scalia reserved his harshest parting shot for his fellow-Justices, screaming, “Damn you! Damn each and every one of you to hell! You call yourself judges? That’s a good one. You’re nothing but animals!”

Breathing heavily after his tirade, he turned to Justice Clarence Thomas and said, “Except you, Clarence. Are you coming with me?”

Justice Thomas said nothing in reply.

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blog...#ixzz2P9S6tf17

WOW I find this quite shocking really.........Did I miss a thread about this or is it completely fabricated?
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Old 03-31-2013, 11:13 PM   #7
cosmo20002 cosmo20002 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KILLER_CLOWN View Post

WOW I find this quite shocking really.........Did I miss a thread about this or is it completely fabricated?
It's true. Someone in New Hampshire I know said they read it.

/BEP
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Old 03-31-2013, 11:14 PM   #8
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cosmo20002 View Post
Well it wasn't APril first yet.......
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"If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." - Thomas Jefferson
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Old 04-01-2013, 12:33 AM   #9
LiveSteam LiveSteam is offline
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Originally Posted by cosmo20002 View Post
It's true. Someone in New Hampshire I know said they read it.

/BEP
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Old 04-01-2013, 01:23 AM   #10
mikey23545 mikey23545 is offline
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Originally Posted by KILLER_CLOWN View Post

WOW I find this quite shocking really.........Did I miss a thread about this or is it completely fabricated?

My God, you're a retarded ****er!

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Old 04-01-2013, 05:19 AM   #11
DaveNull DaveNull is offline
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The borowitz report has always been satire. Poorly done and the writing is subpar for something connected with the new yorker, but still satire none the less.
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Old 04-01-2013, 06:16 AM   #12
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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Originally Posted by mikey23545 View Post
My God, you're a retarded ****er!

Never met a retarded ****er, but I bet you know a few being one.
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"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father ... And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."

"If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." - Thomas Jefferson
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Old 04-01-2013, 06:23 AM   #13
KILLER_CLOWN KILLER_CLOWN is offline
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Originally Posted by DaveNull View Post
The borowitz report has always been satire. Poorly done and the writing is subpar for something connected with the new yorker, but still satire none the less.
Yes I thought it was piss poor.
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"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father ... And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity."

"If the people let government decide what foods they eat and what medicines they take, their bodies will soon be in as sorry a state as are the souls of those who live under tyranny." - Thomas Jefferson
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Old 04-01-2013, 07:39 AM   #14
Brainiac Brainiac is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KILLER_CLOWN View Post
WOW I find this quite shocking really.........Did I miss a thread about this or is it completely fabricated?
You and BEP seem to fall for parody articles pretty easily. Seriously dude, how could you read that and not know it was satire?
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Old 04-01-2013, 07:53 AM   #15
LiveSteam LiveSteam is offline
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Originally Posted by Brainiac View Post
You and BEP seem to fall for parody articles pretty easily. Seriously dude, how could you read that and not know it was satire?
Is this a trick question?
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