Science Stuck at Home With Wife or Girlfriend?

gblowfish · 02-21-2013, 11:00 AM

Being stuck indoors can be depressing. Good news! I have a solution! Now if you can just get the wife or GF to trust science....

http://www.sex.com/news/blog/2012/08...women-and-men/

It’s great that blowjobs can be used as a cure for morning sickness but this blowjob news will blow* you away. The State University of New York has been studying the mood altering effects of chemicals in semen. Their results, shocking:

Blowjobs are good for a woman’s health.

In case you didn’t get it the first time, I’ll repeat myself:
BLOWJOBS ARE GOOD FOR A WOMAN’S HEALTH!

This may sound like a male conspiracy to get more blowjobs (which it very well could be) but luckily the team from State have provided the credentials from the study.

Semen has a lot more to offer than just little guppies, also known as sperm. It contains several chemicals that can elevate mood (esterone, oxytocin, serotonin, and a thyrotropin-releasing hormone), increase affection (cortisol), and induce sleep (melatonin) making semen a mind-altering cocktail.

Researchers (Gallup, Burch, and Platek) interviewed 293 female college students from the Albany campus and got the women to give them blowjobs and compared their sex lives with a survey on depression. They found that women who never used condoms had fewer depression symptoms than those who always used condoms or abstained from sex entirely (not factoring the risk of not using a condom). Women who were abstinent or promiscuously practicing safe-sex were equally depressed meaning that women who are having sex aren’t happier. It is the seminal fluid and its antidepressant qualities that make women happier.

The study also showed that women have better concentration and are better at cognitive tasks when exposed to semen.

So why blowjobs specifically? Because an accidental pregnancy can cause depression. Be safe and be happy by swallowing as much semen as you can.

Detoxing · 02-21-2013, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Researchers (Gallup, Burch, and Platek) interviewed 293 female college students from the Albany campus and got the women to give them blowjobs

OMFG.

These men are GENIUS.

Fairplay · 02-21-2013, 11:04 AM

Good for a man's health also.

htismaqe · 02-21-2013, 11:04 AM

I'm sure all of those mood-altering chemicals can be absorbed directly into the bloodstream through the walls of the colon, without being subjected to the disintegrating effects of stomach acid.

Just sayin'.

PIIHB

SPchief · 02-21-2013, 11:04 AM

I promise, its only for scientific purposes. Now get on your knees

ptlyon · 02-21-2013, 11:08 AM

They didn't state how healthy their hair was as well

**J Diddy** · 02-21-2013, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htismaqe

I'm sure all of those mood-altering chemicals can be absorbed directly into the bloodstream through the walls of the colon, without being subjected to the disintegrating effects of stomach acid.

Just sayin'.

PIIHB

Each man has his poison. Ain't no need to declare one better than the other. When we fight, women win.

Donger · 02-21-2013, 11:14 AM

Even when it's an unintentional but inevitable eye-shot?

htismaqe · 02-21-2013, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy

Each man has his poison. Ain't no need to declare one better than the other. When we fight, women win.

I'm not fighting.

I'm just making the case that if your woman wants the MAXIMUM health benefit that she can get, introducing these chemicals orally isn't the most direct or effective method available.

Graystoke · 02-21-2013, 11:25 AM

The study also showed that women have better concentration and are better at cognitive tasks when exposed to semen

I have got a co-worker that just can't concentrate at all lately.
I will bring this up to her and tell her I have the cure right here in my hand.

Discuss Thrower · 02-21-2013, 11:26 AM

Give these magnificent sons-of-bitches a Nobel

Reerun_KC · 02-21-2013, 11:26 AM

Nothing is better than being snowed in with the wife...

Married 21 years and she is just as awesome now as the day I first met her...

htismaqe · 02-21-2013, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graystoke

The study also showed that women have better concentration and are better at cognitive tasks when exposed to semen

I have got a co-worker that just can't concentrate at all lately.
I will bring this up to her and tell her I have the cure right here in my hand.

The best part is that you'll be completely free to date her afterwards because she won't be a co-worker anymore!

hometeam · 02-21-2013, 11:44 AM

So I showed this to my fiance, and she says "Is that you telling me you want a blowjob?" I said "Yes".

You know the rest~

Graystoke · 02-21-2013, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hometeam

So I showed this to my fiance, and she says "Is that you telling me you want a blowjob?" I said "Yes".

You know the rest~

I gotta REP that.

02-21-2013, 11:00 AM
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $3133948	Stuck at Home With Wife or Girlfriend? Being stuck indoors can be depressing. Good news! I have a solution! Now if you can just get the wife or GF to trust science.... http://www.sex.com/news/blog/2012/08...women-and-men/ It’s great that blowjobs can be used as a cure for morning sickness but this blowjob news will blow* you away. The State University of New York has been studying the mood altering effects of chemicals in semen. Their results, shocking: Blowjobs are good for a woman’s health. In case you didn’t get it the first time, I’ll repeat myself: BLOWJOBS ARE GOOD FOR A WOMAN’S HEALTH! This may sound like a male conspiracy to get more blowjobs (which it very well could be) but luckily the team from State have provided the credentials from the study. Semen has a lot more to offer than just little guppies, also known as sperm. It contains several chemicals that can elevate mood (esterone, oxytocin, serotonin, and a thyrotropin-releasing hormone), increase affection (cortisol), and induce sleep (melatonin) making semen a mind-altering cocktail. Researchers (Gallup, Burch, and Platek) interviewed 293 female college students from the Albany campus and got the women to give them blowjobs and compared their sex lives with a survey on depression. They found that women who never used condoms had fewer depression symptoms than those who always used condoms or abstained from sex entirely (not factoring the risk of not using a condom). Women who were abstinent or promiscuously practicing safe-sex were equally depressed meaning that women who are having sex aren’t happier. It is the seminal fluid and its antidepressant qualities that make women happier. The study also showed that women have better concentration and are better at cognitive tasks when exposed to semen. So why blowjobs specifically? Because an accidental pregnancy can cause depression. Be safe and be happy by swallowing as much semen as you can.
Posts: 20,841

02-21-2013, 11:04 AM	#3
Fairplay MVP Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: state of mind Casino cash: $5001593	Good for a man's health also.
Posts: 13,618

02-21-2013, 11:04 AM	#4
htismaqe In the misty morning... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: on the edge of time... Casino cash: $1044370	I'm sure all of those mood-altering chemicals can be absorbed directly into the bloodstream through the walls of the colon, without being subjected to the disintegrating effects of stomach acid. Just sayin'. PIIHB __________________ Don't live for pleasure, make life your treasure... \m/ Ronnie James Dio, 1942-2010 \m/
Posts: 52,058

02-21-2013, 11:04 AM	#5
SPchief MVP Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Wherever the Fock i am Casino cash: $10476804	I promise, its only for scientific purposes. Now get on your knees __________________
Posts: 26,592

02-21-2013, 11:08 AM	#6
ptlyon Bono & Grbac wasn't enough Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Sioux City, IA Casino cash: $15274	They didn't state how healthy their hair was as well __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Advertise here: $19.99 a month
Posts: 6,402

02-21-2013, 11:14 AM	#8
Donger "Think BOOM!" Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: 33.675° N 106.475° W Casino cash: $280	Even when it's an unintentional but inevitable eye-shot? __________________ I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down," verbally, don't you?
Posts: 68,531

02-21-2013, 11:25 AM	#10
Graystoke Veteran Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Driftless Region Casino cash: $959662	*The study also showed that women have better concentration and are better at cognitive tasks when exposed to semen* I have got a co-worker that just can't concentrate at all lately. I will bring this up to her and tell her I have the cure right here in my hand. __________________
Posts: 1,172

02-21-2013, 11:26 AM	#11
Discuss Thrower International Postman Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: No, where do YOU live? Casino cash: $29303	Give these magnificent sons-of-bitches a Nobel __________________ - credit goes to BoneKrusher for the pic "Inception: (in-ˈsep-shən)--n. the act of convincing a female (usually out of one’s league) to have sex with you by making the female think it is her own idea.
Posts: 5,802

02-21-2013, 11:26 AM	#12
Reerun_KC Rock Chalk Jayhawks! KU!!! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Kansas Jayhawks Casino cash: $2423887	Nothing is better than being snowed in with the wife... Married 21 years and she is just as awesome now as the day I first met her... __________________ Failing Franchise always Fail. You have NFL Teams, then you have the Chiefs.
Posts: 40,916

02-21-2013, 11:44 AM	#14
hometeam Veteran Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Jefferson City Casino cash: $2021566	So I showed this to my fiance, and she says "Is that you telling me you want a blowjob?" I said "Yes". You know the rest~
Posts: 2,075

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode