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Old 02-19-2013, 12:15 AM  
bowener bowener is offline
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I need help fast, guys.

I have recently suspected my brother has been into drugs (lost his job, erratic behavior, money troubles, poor hygiene...), and I just found all the evidence I need in his pocket. Two hypodermic needles and heroin (what I presume is Heroin). He is passed out in my parents living room right now. I do not know what the **** I am supposed to do. Our stepdad pretty much despises him for how he treats our mother, and I really do not want to have to tell her this. I also do not want to see him in jail, since that will pretty much ruin his future, and not to mention how it will hurt his chances of getting to have anything to do with his daughter again. I am at a complete loss right now. I have no idea what to do or who to talk to.

I emailed a friend that is a therapist to ask him for information on who to contact and how to go about this. **** this sucks. Anybody here have experience with this at all?? Please help me.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:47 PM   #61
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Thoughts and prayers are with you guys.
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:51 PM
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Old 02-19-2013, 07:58 PM   #62
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Damn. I do not know what others in this thread have told you, but DON'T call the cops on him. He will NEVER forgive you, and might cause him to reject any future help from you.
TALK TO HIM. Ask him if he wants help. A lot of people who are caught up in those kinds of drugs are trapped by them, and would do anything to be able to get off of them, but can't deal with the withdrawls. May be the case may not, but you need to know before doing ANYTHING drastic. Again, Don't attack him. Talk to him. If he wants help get him into a facility.
Start there, and let us know what he says.
Note: He's not gonna be honest with you unless you come to him from a place of logic.
(you're gonna die. You're ruining your life) Try to level with him. Do not preach. Do not bitch him out. He knows what he's doing is wrong.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:01 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by beach tribe View Post
Damn. I do not know what others in this thread have told you, but DON'T call the cops on him. He will NEVER forgive you, and might cause him to reject any future help from you.
TALK TO HIM. Ask him if he wants help. A lot of people who are caught up in those kinds of drugs are trapped by them, and would do anything to be able to get off of them, but can't deal with the withdrawls. May be the case may not, but you need to know before doing ANYTHING drastic. Again, Don't attack him. Talk to him. If he wants help get him into a facility.
Start there, and let us know what he says.
Note: He's not gonna be honest with you unless you come to him from a place of logic.
(you're gonna die. You're ruining your life) Try to level with him. Do not preach. Do not bitch him out. He knows what he's doing is wrong.
Looks like it is too late. His brother turned into a thief to fuel his drug habit.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:09 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by bowener View Post
Update:

Police finally searched his truck and found drugs and paraphernalia, as well as jewelry that was stolen from my mother a week ago. Unfortunately only the worthless stuff remained. There is still roughly $8,000+ missing, but we think we know which Pawn Shop in Independence he may have tried to sell them at.

Honestly I feel relief knowing where he will be for the foreseeable future. It all still seems surreal. We are hoping the judge leans toward a court ordered rehab program, but the county judge isn't know for leniency.
OH shit. I should have read the rest of the thread. I didn't know he was already stealing and shit. The situation had already progressed beyond my suggestions, I guess.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:11 PM   #65
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Originally Posted by beach tribe View Post
OH shit. I should have read the rest of the thread. I didn't know he was already stealing and shit. The situation had already progressed beyond my suggestions, I guess.
Yeah. Really, the only hope is that he actually gets into trouble with that shit. That stuff will ruin you and I'd rather destroy my relationship with a family member than stand by and watch them kill themselves. If and when they sober up, they'll be more apt to recognize you were looking out for them.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:19 PM   #66
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WOW
That is actually how the Hell's angels used to do. Except they would tie you to a tree.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:20 PM   #67
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Originally Posted by beach tribe View Post
Damn. I do not know what others in this thread have told you, but DON'T call the cops on him. He will NEVER forgive you, and might cause him to reject any future help from you.
TALK TO HIM. Ask him if he wants help. A lot of people who are caught up in those kinds of drugs are trapped by them, and would do anything to be able to get off of them, but can't deal with the withdrawls. May be the case may not, but you need to know before doing ANYTHING drastic. Again, Don't attack him. Talk to him. If he wants help get him into a facility.
Start there, and let us know what he says.
Note: He's not gonna be honest with you unless you come to him from a place of logic.
(you're gonna die. You're ruining your life) Try to level with him. Do not preach. Do not bitch him out. He knows what he's doing is wrong.
This is all well and good except he violated family code when he stole from his family. You have to treat him like a common criminal. If someone else stole $8000 from your mom and came back drugged up looking for more, what would you do? You unfortunately have to suspend the family tie until he decides to honor his side of it. I had to lose my brother for several years and a niece has never come back around due to addictions. Stay strong.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:20 PM   #68
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Originally Posted by Phobia View Post
Yeah. Really, the only hope is that he actually gets into trouble with that shit. That stuff will ruin you and I'd rather destroy my relationship with a family member than stand by and watch them kill themselves. If and when they sober up, they'll be more apt to recognize you were looking out for them.
Yeah. The guy that's stealing to feed his addiction isn't even bowener's brother in a way. The addiction stole the brother long before it stole the jewelry.

The recovery rate for opiates just sucks. I mean, all recovery rates suck, but that one sucks especially. It's a long, hard road back. For most people it requires physical, psychological and spiritual healing on a miraculous level -- not just for the addict, but for the ones who love him as well.

There are no hard and fast rules except for how it inevitably ends if the addict can't figure out a way to fight for his recovery with every ounce of energy he can muster.

I can offer nothing but nothing but prayers for everyone involved.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:24 PM   #69
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Originally Posted by Phobia View Post
Yeah. Really, the only hope is that he actually gets into trouble with that shit. That stuff will ruin you and I'd rather destroy my relationship with a family member than stand by and watch them kill themselves. If and when they sober up, they'll be more apt to recognize you were looking out for them.
So true. I was hoping he caught it at an earlier stage than what it had progressed to. It is without a doubt the hardest drug problem anyone will have to deal with. It cannot be done alone.
Hopefully this saves his life. His actions have already warranted him getting popped. So he will definitely forgive him with a little time.
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Old 02-19-2013, 08:26 PM   #70
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Originally Posted by Superbowltrashcan View Post
This is all well and good except he violated family code when he stole from his family. You have to treat him like a common criminal. If someone else stole $8000 from your mom and came back drugged up looking for more, what would you do? You unfortunately have to suspend the family tie until he decides to honor his side of it. I had to lose my brother for several years and a niece has never come back around due to addictions. Stay strong.
Agreed. Didn't know it had gotten that far.
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Old 02-19-2013, 10:00 PM   #71
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Tough situation man, sorry to hear about this but turning him in or calling 911 was the best thing, and the right thing, to do. It's time for acknowledgement, accountability and justice (for the money and things he stole)and healing. Addiction is so hard to deal with but as it's already been said, he is past simply being supported for having an addiction. Prayers are with your family.
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:05 AM   #72
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Guys, I cannot thank you enough for everything that's been said in here. Even stuff that may have been bad or incorrect advice. Just seeing the dialogue between people in here some how cheers me up. I guess, in a way, it makes this whole event more real or normal in a sense... maybe not normal... more human? I don't know. I do know that right now I do not give a damn if he hates me and curses me to hell. Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. What I do know is that that next time I hug my niece and look her in the eyes I can do so knowing I didn't let her down. I didn't let her dad leave, and go off to his death. I am most proud of that.

With that being said, this is going to be hell, and I am going to be the one doing the heavy lifting and shouldering the burden as much as possible. My family is an old family. Mother and father are 65, and our step-father is 73. All have major health issues. I have an older step-brother, who I love dearly, that has CP, and can barely get around on his own now. I am 28, and will be looking after my 32 year old brother the rest of his life or at least I may have to. I know my brother very well, and it will take a god damn miracle for him to stay clean or sober. However, if the insurance company for the jewelry steps in, his primary caretaker will be a warden for several more years.
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:17 AM   #73
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Originally Posted by bowener View Post
Guys, I cannot thank you enough for everything that's been said in here. Even stuff that may have been bad or incorrect advice. Just seeing the dialogue between people in here some how cheers me up. I guess, in a way, it makes this whole event more real or normal in a sense... maybe not normal... more human? I don't know. I do know that right now I do not give a damn if he hates me and curses me to hell. Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. What I do know is that that next time I hug my niece and look her in the eyes I can do so knowing I didn't let her down. I didn't let her dad leave, and go off to his death. I am most proud of that.

With that being said, this is going to be hell, and I am going to be the one doing the heavy lifting and shouldering the burden as much as possible. My family is an old family. Mother and father are 65, and our step-father is 73. All have major health issues. I have an older step-brother, who I love dearly, that has CP, and can barely get around on his own now. I am 28, and will be looking after my 32 year old brother the rest of his life or at least I may have to. I know my brother very well, and it will take a god damn miracle for him to stay clean or sober. However, if the insurance company for the jewelry steps in, his primary caretaker will be a warden for several more years.
Be prepared, it may take a LONG time before he will see it's his own fault. Hang in there and stay positive.
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Old 02-20-2013, 12:22 AM   #74
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Originally Posted by bowener View Post
Guys, I cannot thank you enough for everything that's been said in here. Even stuff that may have been bad or incorrect advice. Just seeing the dialogue between people in here some how cheers me up. I guess, in a way, it makes this whole event more real or normal in a sense... maybe not normal... more human? I don't know. I do know that right now I do not give a damn if he hates me and curses me to hell. Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. What I do know is that that next time I hug my niece and look her in the eyes I can do so knowing I didn't let her down. I didn't let her dad leave, and go off to his death. I am most proud of that.

With that being said, this is going to be hell, and I am going to be the one doing the heavy lifting and shouldering the burden as much as possible. My family is an old family. Mother and father are 65, and our step-father is 73. All have major health issues. I have an older step-brother, who I love dearly, that has CP, and can barely get around on his own now. I am 28, and will be looking after my 32 year old brother the rest of his life or at least I may have to. I know my brother very well, and it will take a god damn miracle for him to stay clean or sober. However, if the insurance company for the jewelry steps in, his primary caretaker will be a warden for several more years.
That's a heavy burden to bear. Make sure that you don't carry it on your own. Talk to people about the stressors involved, even if it is on here.

You have my best.
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Old 02-20-2013, 03:49 AM   #75
ImAWalkingCorpse ImAWalkingCorpse is offline
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Originally Posted by bowener View Post
Guys, I cannot thank you enough for everything that's been said in here. Even stuff that may have been bad or incorrect advice. Just seeing the dialogue between people in here some how cheers me up. I guess, in a way, it makes this whole event more real or normal in a sense... maybe not normal... more human? I don't know. I do know that right now I do not give a damn if he hates me and curses me to hell. Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. What I do know is that that next time I hug my niece and look her in the eyes I can do so knowing I didn't let her down. I didn't let her dad leave, and go off to his death. I am most proud of that.

With that being said, this is going to be hell, and I am going to be the one doing the heavy lifting and shouldering the burden as much as possible. My family is an old family. Mother and father are 65, and our step-father is 73. All have major health issues. I have an older step-brother, who I love dearly, that has CP, and can barely get around on his own now. I am 28, and will be looking after my 32 year old brother the rest of his life or at least I may have to. I know my brother very well, and it will take a god damn miracle for him to stay clean or sober. However, if the insurance company for the jewelry steps in, his primary caretaker will be a warden for several more years.
I don't envy you at all, I really am sorry you and your family are taking the brunt of your brothers problems.
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