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Old 02-19-2013, 01:15 AM  
bowener bowener is offline
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I need help fast, guys.

I have recently suspected my brother has been into drugs (lost his job, erratic behavior, money troubles, poor hygiene...), and I just found all the evidence I need in his pocket. Two hypodermic needles and heroin (what I presume is Heroin). He is passed out in my parents living room right now. I do not know what the **** I am supposed to do. Our stepdad pretty much despises him for how he treats our mother, and I really do not want to have to tell her this. I also do not want to see him in jail, since that will pretty much ruin his future, and not to mention how it will hurt his chances of getting to have anything to do with his daughter again. I am at a complete loss right now. I have no idea what to do or who to talk to.

I emailed a friend that is a therapist to ask him for information on who to contact and how to go about this. **** this sucks. Anybody here have experience with this at all?? Please help me.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:34 AM   #16
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damn that sucks man. It looks like the good advice has already been said.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:35 AM   #17
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I don't know if I would tell the family anything untill he gets a few days clean and sober. Family can make things worse not that they mean too but because it's harder on them to deal with. They need to know but not right away imo. Get professional help first then let them counsel you and the family how to best help your brother.
Who is going to professionally help him without the family's knowledge? Professionals like to get paid. The guy lost his job. It's not like he can turn it in to his insurance.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:37 AM   #18
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and no matter what you choose to do. It's not your fault.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:37 AM   #19
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Here's the rub. You don't need help. He does. You want him to be helped. He does not. You can't fix this problem. He has to fix it. Drug addicts don't want help until they hit rock bottom. The only thing you can do to "help" is push him towards rock bottom. That includes doing things that will be uncomfortable for you, him, your family, and your relationship:
1. You could notify authorities.
2. You could swipe his stash. Tough to get high when you don't have the goods.
3. You could tell your family.
4. You could call 911 and tell them he OD'ed.

You're going to be forced to do something that sucks or do nothing at all and wait for him to destroy his life even more or perhaps even kill somebody or himself. I don't envy you this position but it's probably not your fault and unless you have big brass ones, there's nothing you can do about it.
I agree with all of this and say that jail could be the best thing for him as it would be consiquences for his actions to learn from and it's not ok to do it. I know many recovering addicts and alcoholics that have been grateful that they went to jail even though they didn't like it at the time it gave them a chance to sober up.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:39 AM   #20
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I'd put the hypodermics and 'substance' on the closest table in clear sight and gather as much family as you can [adults only] and wait for him to wake up.

Family can be harsh, but they can drive him to make his hard choices himself, which I think is better than putting him into the system and imposing restrictions against his will.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:39 AM   #21
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Who is going to professionally help him without the family's knowledge? Professionals like to get paid. The guy lost his job. It's not like he can turn it in to his insurance.
That's true, I was thinking of hotlines for him to call. Is there numbers he could get to talk about it?
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:42 AM   #22
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That's true, I was thinking of hotlines for him to call. Is there numbers he could get to talk about it?
How does that work? Wake him up, put a phone in his hand, and tell him to dial 888-QUITNOW? He's going to be less than cooperative in that regard.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:46 AM   #23
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How does that work? Wake him up, put a phone in his hand, and tell him to dial 888-QUITNOW? He's going to be less than cooperative in that regard.
I meant for Bowener to talk to the hotline to get some advise and get to talk to a person on how he could best help his brother. I doubt his brother will be much willing to do anything at first untill like you said hits rock bottom. Bowener needs to find support for himself on how to deal with this monster of a drug.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:46 AM   #24
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That's true, I was thinking of hotlines for him to call. Is there numbers he could get to talk about it?
What about non-profit counseling groups in his city? That would be his best support option, given his financial situation.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:47 AM   #25
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Hope everything is ok. Keep us posted.
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Old 02-19-2013, 01:50 AM   #26
KC Tattoo KC Tattoo is offline
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What about non-profit counseling groups in his city? That would be his best support option, given his financial situation.
There usually is places or people that can help. Maybe Bowener could go to some churches & talk to a pastor because this is just bigger than him.
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Old 02-19-2013, 04:06 AM   #27
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Thank you for the advice, everyone. I cannot express how I feel right now. He did not go willingly. Ultimately he ended up in a cop car. I had to press assault charges for them to take him away. He tossed his stuff in his truck, so they have to get a search warrant (small town, no drug dogs). At least I know where he is now. Time to try for sleep. I have a job interview in the morning. Life is a really funny thing, guys.

Edit: Most likely no help here. It is a rural town of 1,000 people.
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Old 02-19-2013, 04:47 AM   #28
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I don't understand. how did he assault you while he was sleeping? did the cops talk you into pressing charges for that? I think you did the right thing by calling the cops but be careful.
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Old 02-19-2013, 04:52 AM   #29
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Huh? That doesnt make sense. Press assault charges for what?
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Old 02-19-2013, 05:58 AM   #30
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definitely don't envy your position. That sounds pretty rough. Hopefully it'll turn out for the best
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