Misc Pussy Control Issues - Page 5

Cave Johnson · 10:39 AM

After a good long dating career, I may have had my last piece of strange. Met a girl at a SB party who's a solid 8.5 (minimum), younger, fun, educated, good job, same values, etc. She's on a 6 month lease, which creates some implications for moving in down the road.

The problem is her cat, pictured below. It was an ill advised gift from an ex (who I'd now like to kick in the balls). Apparently he's destructive, neurotic, eats uncontrollably, and emphatically does not like my dog. This is not my dog's fault, who's pretty mellow and enjoys licking/humping cats. She's attached to it and feels guilty for leaving said cat alone. Which is the natural and empathetic reaction of a well-adjusted person, but it cuts into certain activities and is generally problematic.

So, any advice you can give on dog/cat acclimation or dealing with a psycho cat in general (other than antifreeze) would be very much appreciated.

**J Diddy** · 02-12-2013, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DonkyPuncher

take it and throw it on said ex boyfriends porch..

That is the final step of a process that begins with gettin a burlap sack.

Dartgod · 02-12-2013, 04:25 PM

If you keep the cat, this might come in handy.

**CrazyPhuD** · 02-12-2013, 04:31 PM

Well maybe it's time to teach the kitty who's boss. One day just shave it and tell her you always prefer your kitties well groomed.

Then again you could try the pharmaceutical approach. Find out whatever food the cat loves and slip some weed(or maybe some xanax) in it a hour before 'activities'. Cat gets mello and you get your groove on. Just make sure you don't mix up the weed butter with some LSD...that can cause issues....

big nasty kcnut · 02-12-2013, 06:18 PM

give it away on craigslist then when she ask where the cat is you tell her she ran away and you couldn't find her.

**DaKCMan AP** · 02-12-2013, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cave Johnson

I know an 8.5 sounds impossible, but for those of us that aren't self-aggrandizing engineers, it's quite possible.

I get it.. she's an 8.5 on teh interwebz

Brock · 02-12-2013, 06:23 PM

Met two weeks ago - making plans to move in.

**keg in kc** · 02-12-2013, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

Met two weeks ago - making plans to move in.

Wait until the post in two more weeks when he finds out she's a post-op transsexual.

CHENZ A! · 02-12-2013, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

Met two weeks ago - making plans to move in.

For real.

HonestChieffan · 02-12-2013, 07:10 PM

Take the cat. Send 8.5 down the road. She has made a cat crazy. Think about it....

KChiefs1 · 02-12-2013, 07:27 PM

Met her at this years SB party? Aren't you rushing things a bit?

Big Smoke · 02-12-2013, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lcarus

God damn guys. How many times do I have to give out this amazing advice?!

+

=

That's ****ing gross.

**CrazyPhuD** · 02-12-2013, 07:43 PM

Worse comes to worst you could always try this approach. But you'd probably have to season it well to hide the gaminess.

OrtonsPiercedTaint · 02-12-2013, 07:44 PM

Your real problem will be coming home and find the ex visiting the cat.

Pablo · 02-12-2013, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

Met two weeks ago - making plans to move in.

LAWL

TribalElder · 02-12-2013, 08:11 PM

LOL

What happens when the cat ends up your cat in a year and 6 months.

Regardless cats ****ing stink like shit

I highly recommend city kitty unless you like amonia piss smell
http://www.citikitty.com/

or fake a doctors visit and a cat alergy right before she is supposed to move in and have a adoptive home on standby. CHECK CHECK FELINE REROUTE HUT HUT HUT

02-12-2013, 02:02 PM
Cave Johnson MVP Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: E. Bumf***istan Casino cash: $75983	Pussy Control Issues After a good long dating career, I may have had my last piece of strange. Met a girl at a SB party who's a solid 8.5 (minimum), younger, fun, educated, good job, same values, etc. She's on a 6 month lease, which creates some implications for moving in down the road. The problem is her cat, pictured below. It was an ill advised gift from an ex (who I'd now like to kick in the balls). Apparently he's destructive, neurotic, eats uncontrollably, and emphatically does not like my dog. This is not my dog's fault, who's pretty mellow and enjoys licking/humping cats. She's attached to it and feels guilty for leaving said cat alone. Which is the natural and empathetic reaction of a well-adjusted person, but it cuts into certain activities and is generally problematic. So, any advice you can give on dog/cat acclimation or dealing with a psycho cat in general (other than antifreeze) would be very much appreciated. Last edited by Cave Johnson; 02-13-2013 at 10:39 AM..
Posts: 8,142

02-12-2013, 04:25 PM	#62
Dartgod Wasted away again... Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: in Margaritaville Casino cash: $376024554	If you keep the cat, this might come in handy. __________________ . .
Posts: 30,022

02-12-2013, 04:31 PM	#63
CrazyPhuD Meow Join Date: Jun 2005 Casino cash: $1601133	Well maybe it's time to teach the kitty who's boss. One day just shave it and tell her you always prefer your kitties well groomed. Then again you could try the pharmaceutical approach. Find out whatever food the cat loves and slip some weed(or maybe some xanax) in it a hour before 'activities'. Cat gets mello and you get your groove on. Just make sure you don't mix up the weed butter with some LSD...that can cause issues.... __________________ "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t*rd by the clean end"
Posts: 6,318

02-12-2013, 06:18 PM	#64
big nasty kcnut Hey wanna fight! Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: wichita kansas u.s.a. Casino cash: $1020930	give it away on craigslist then when she ask where the cat is you tell her she ran away and you couldn't find her. __________________ I'm the renegade of funk Go kansas city. Our coach hate you. adopt a chiefs Ryan Succop
Posts: 11,926

02-12-2013, 06:23 PM	#66
Brock Do it. Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Larryville Casino cash: $142343	Met two weeks ago - making plans to move in.
Posts: 40,394

02-12-2013, 07:10 PM	#69
HonestChieffan Hoffa called me an SOB Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the Country in MO Casino cash: $1220184	Take the cat. Send 8.5 down the road. She has made a cat crazy. Think about it.... __________________ "The best time to sell peanuts is when the circus is in town."
Posts: 21,869

02-12-2013, 07:27 PM	#70
KChiefs1 ChiefsPlanet Pick'em Champ! Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Mid-Missouri Casino cash: $92846	Met her at this years SB party? Aren't you rushing things a bit?
Posts: 7,498

02-12-2013, 07:43 PM	#72
CrazyPhuD Meow Join Date: Jun 2005 Casino cash: $1601133	Worse comes to worst you could always try this approach. But you'd probably have to season it well to hide the gaminess. __________________ "Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t*rd by the clean end"
Posts: 6,318

02-12-2013, 07:44 PM	#73
OrtonsPiercedTaint Cavity freed krill toothpaste Join Date: Dec 2012 Casino cash: $9744	Your real problem will be coming home and find the ex visiting the cat.
Posts: 1,224

02-12-2013, 08:11 PM	#75
TribalElder The Osage Outlaw Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: late to the party Casino cash: $14550	LOL What happens when the cat ends up your cat in a year and 6 months. Regardless cats ****ing stink like shit I highly recommend city kitty unless you like amonia piss smell http://www.citikitty.com/ or fake a doctors visit and a cat alergy right before she is supposed to move in and have a adoptive home on standby. CHECK CHECK FELINE REROUTE HUT HUT HUT __________________
Posts: 1,501

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