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Old 01-15-2013, 04:13 PM  
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This Week's Important Florida News!

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.
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Old 05-13-2013, 09:02 AM   #121
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Police say a 57-year-old central Florida woman is a grave robber who stole nearly 150 items that she used to decorate her home.

Statues, lights, planters, decorations and other trinkets pilfered from Mount Peace Cemetery in St. Cloud were allegedly adorning the home and yard of Debra Farinella, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

In all, the middle-aged tomb raider is accused of taking 146 pieces from the burial spots, according to WFTV.

"She was not very particular," said Officer Chad Durham, spokesman for the St. Cloud Police Department, to WOFL. "She would take them from baby gravesites, as well as adult gravesites."

A tipster gave police a description of a suspect and a partial license plate number. Police eventually located Farinella, who claimed that she bought the cemetery mementos at a yard sale, the Sentinel reported.

She's been charged with grand theft and petty theft, according to the Osceola County Sheriff's office.

Victims are encouraged to contact the St. Cloud Police Department to reclaim stolen goods, WKMG said.
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Old 05-15-2013, 11:54 AM   #122
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Florida man shoots himself while bowling!

MARK IT ZERO!

A Florida man entered a world of pain Tuesday when his gun accidentally discharged during an evening of bowling at Jupiter Lanes, WPTV reports.

Witnesses said that the weapon fired when the man's arm brushed up against his pocket during his backswing. You didn't think he was rolling out there naked, did you?

"The ball hit him in the leg, which triggered the revolver," a bystander told WBPF. Obviously, he's not a golfer.

The man was rushed by ambulance (perhaps, his car was stolen) to St. Mary’s Medical Center where he no doubt received a good and thorough examination. His injuries are not considered life threatening, according to the Palm Beach Post.

It remains unclear if the incident took place during league play.
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Old 05-15-2013, 10:54 PM   #123
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Ok this belongs here!

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Old 05-16-2013, 01:11 AM   #124
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Old 05-16-2013, 01:46 AM   #125
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PINELLAS PARK - A Florida man is recovering after being attacked by an alligator while fleeing deputies during a traffic stop.

The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office says 20-year-old Bryan Zuniga was pulled over for failing to maintain a single lane Thursday at about 2:50 a.m.

Deputies say Zuniga stopped the vehicle and jumped out of the passenger door. He then broke through a vinyl fence and escaped.

The Tampa Bay area man was found at a local hospital a few hours later. He was being treated for multiple puncture wounds to the face, arm and armpit area. He told deputies he had been attacked by an alligator near a water treatment plant.

He has been charged with fleeing police, driving with a suspended or revoked license and resisting an officer without violence.
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Old 05-16-2013, 02:39 AM   #126
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Florida Man Cited For Filling Ditch In Front Of House WIth Raw Sewage

For the record, it is not OK to pump raw sewage into the swale in front of your home.

But this appears to be what went down May 1 at a residence on Southwest Hambrick Street in Port St. Lucie, according to a recently released Port St. Lucie police report.

The "stench of raw sewage" greeted an officer who arrived at the scene. That officer also noted "brown water" in the swale.

The property owner, Victor Vivirito, told the officer his tenant called and reported "sewage is backing up in the toilets and bathtub," a report states.

People typically do not enjoy bathing in tubs of sewage or relieving themselves in waste-filled commodes.

Vivirito said "the sewer pipe was clogged, so he ran a water hose from the roof to unclog the pipe, and then discharged some of the waste water into the city swale area," the report states.

The officer said Vivirito should have contacted a plumber or had the septic tank professionally pumped out, noting it's against the rules "to knowingly pump untreated waste water and/or raw sewage" into a public swale.

"I further explained that the odors are harmful to human life, which attract flies and mosquitoes, which further promotes diseases and other health hazards to the public," the report states.

The report did not say whether brown nosing was involved.

Vivirito was issued a notice to appear in court in connection with violating state rules relating to nuisances injurious to health and administration code/prohibition of disposal of waste.

http://blogs.tcpalm.com/off_the_beat...ampaign=Buffer
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Old 05-16-2013, 07:33 AM   #127
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A man who said he fled an accident scene because he had "bad" Chinese food and didn't want to poop in his pants was arrested on a misdemeanor charge, according to a recently released affidavit.

What could be called the case of the driver who didn't wish to defecate in his drawers began about 6:30 a.m. May 6 in Port St. Lucie when a police officer went to the 500 block of Southwest Todd Avenue for a traffic crash.

A man told the officer a red pick-up truck left after backing into his vehicle.

Shortly after that, Carlos Baca, 27, returned to the scene. The man identified Baca and his vehicle from the crash.

"Baca reported he left briefly because he had 'bad' Chinese food and did not want to defecate in his pants," an affidavit states. "Baca apologized for leaving, but believed he had no choice, as he was on the verge of defecating in his pants."


Baca said he had no license, and apologized for driving without one.

The affidavit did not state where Baca apparently got the Chinese food, nor did it state whether Baca defecated in his trousers.

Baca, of the 500 block of Southwest Todd Avenue in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on a misdemeanor driving without a license charge.
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Old 05-16-2013, 09:19 AM   #128
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Guess Baca didn't want to go caca.
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Old 05-21-2013, 12:03 PM   #129
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It's good to have priorities.

Florida police say they caught 21-year-old Andrew Fatzinger early Sunday morning looting a home in Lighthouse Point and vandalizing it with graffiti and mustard, the Sun Sentinel reported.

He had also been stuffing laptops, medications and various electronics into a suitcase, according to a police report obtained by NBC Miami.

Fatzinger allegedly fled, sparking a ground and helicopter police chase.

A deputy in the helicopter says he saw Fatzinger run into a second house, then come back out with two bottles of beer. He later discarded the bottles during his getaway attempt.

Fatzinger was eventually cornered by a K-9 and allegedly punched the dog.

His charges include burglary, grand theft, striking a police dog and resisting arrest with violence.

The owner of the beer bottles also wants to press charges against Fatzinger, according to the Sun.

Fatzinger isn't the only alleged thief to get sidetracked by booze. In 2011, police say Florida man John Robin Whittle ordered a beer at a bar before robbing a bank, then returned to the bar to finish his beer when the robbery was over. Cops arrested him at the bar about 10 minutes after the robbery occurred.
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Old 05-22-2013, 01:40 PM   #130
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Is a cigar sometimes just a cigar? That debate will remain unresolved, but The Daily Caller can say with confidence that a banana is definitely not always just a banana at North Marion High School near Ocala, Fla.

School district officials suspended North Marion High teacher Jonathan Hampton for three days without pay after he allegedly used a banana to touch a female student on the head during class, reports Ocala.com.

Hampton was teaching an advanced, college-level course at the time. The theme of the discussion that day was the Freudian ramifications of Ken Kesey’s 1962 novel “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

According to a May 13, 2013 discipline letter obtained by local CBS-affiliate WKMG, Hampton “rubbed a student’s head and neck area with a banana” while the topic was “cylinder objects, phalluses and/or sex symbols.”

The unidentified student’s parents reported the incident on May 6, some three months after it happened. According to the school district, they complained because their daughter felt uncomfortable. It’s not clear what factors caused them to wait three months to lodge their grievance.

A district representative said that Hampton was suspended because, given the totality of the circumstances, school officials had determined that he made inappropriate use of the banana.

The discipline letter written by deputy superintendent Rick Lankford suggested that other students had complained that Hampton’s college-level coursework has gone beyond community norms with “excessive frequency, causing discomfort to many of your students.”

Some parents and community members side firmly with the school district.

“That is disgusting, very disgusting,” said Dale Johnson, identified by WKMG as a grandmother. “I don’t think he should be allowed to teach kids. You don’t do stuff like that and get away with it.”

Hampton did not speak with local media but his attorney Mark Fiedelholtz did, telling a much different story.

“He doesn’t recall ever touching the student with a banana, but if he did it would be to get their attention,” Fiedelholtz told WKMG.

“There was nothing else to it,” he also said, according to Ocala.com.

The attorney added that no other students had made a complaint at the time or during the three subsequent months about the alleged banana incident.

Hampton has taught at North Marion High since 2007. According to personnel records obtained by WKMG, his work as a teacher has been generally “outstanding.” He was the 2011-12 teacher of the year. In 2009, though, Hampton landed in hot water for negative online commentary about students and fellow teachers.


http://news.yahoo.com/florida-high-s...153604620.html
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Old 05-26-2013, 09:29 AM   #131
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A Florida woman allegedly came up with a half-cocked plan to take the law into her own hands.

Officials say Natasha Myers, 23, used her car keys to etch a penis onto the hood of a silver Kia in the parking lot of a grocery store in Wesley Chapel on April 17, the Tampa Bay Times reported.

The rude rendering was complete with a note, which read:

"Hey I keyed your car. You didn't stop for pedestrians as is law. Since no cop to enforce a ticket, this should cover the cost of your fine. Have a good day. P.S. Don't be a dick."

Surveillance footage led to Myers' arrest earlier this week.

Myers admitted to deputies she vandalized the SUV because the driver failed to yield to pedestrians, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

The owner of the Kia, Debra Streets, told investigators she did not remember seeing any pedestrians in the parking lot.

Myers was charged with criminal mischief and booked into the Pasco County Jail Tuesday, according to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office. She was released Wednesday on $5,000 bond.
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Old 05-27-2013, 02:47 AM   #132
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Florida Man Holds Teen At Gunpoint In Order To Get Ride To Store

The Escambia County Sheriff’s Office is looking for a man they believed forced a teenager to drive him to the store at gunpoint.

The incident happened on May 12. The 17-year-old was near W Street and Michigan Avenue with his car’s window rolled halfway down, deputies said.

The gunman approached the car, pointed a pistol at the teen and told him he needed a ride to the store.

The teen drove him to a store in the 4000 block of North W Street and left the scene after going into the store, deputies said.

Investigators believe the suspect is in his 20s and is about 6 feet tall and 170 pounds.

Anyone with information can call 436-9615 or Gulf Coast Crime Stoppers at 433-STOP
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Old 05-27-2013, 02:48 AM   #133
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Florida Man Accused Of Trying To Bribe Cop After Pepper-Spraying Baby

A routine trip to tow an illegally parked car ended up with a baby being pepper-sprayed, a false report of shots fired and the tow truck driver arrested on bribery charges.

It all began shortly before 7 p.m. Sunday, when Carmel Towing driver Ronald Tyler showed up to a large party to tow away illegally parked vehicles inside the Olive Glen Community complex in Pompano Beach.

Witnesses told the Broward Sheriff's Office that Tyler, 22, of Fort Lauderdale, argued with several people at the bounce-house party.

Tyler then loaded one of the cars that had been parked on a swale.

According to a sheriff's report, the car's owner, Daniel Sosa, told deputies he was trying to convince Tyler not to tow the vehicle, when Sosa suddenly was doused with what the report listed as a large "Police Magnum OC-17" pepper spray. A woman and her 1-year-old daughter also were sprayed, according to the report.

Those who were sprayed, including the baby, were taken to Broward Health North, where they were treated and released.

Tyler tried to convince a deputy not to arrest him by offering several bribes, the Sheriff's Office said. But it didn't work: Tyler was arrested on charges that include bribery and three counts of battery, the agency said.

Reached by phone Wednesday, Tyler said he fired the pepper spray to defend himself from an angry mob at the party. He said he never tried to bribe the deputy.

"When I got there, it was a zoo," Tyler said. "Everyone was drunk and turned on me."

Neither Sosa nor other partygoers could be reached for comment Wednesday.

Carmel Towing provides towing service for the Olive Glen apartment complex, and Tyler was dispatched when an association manager phoned the company to remove illegally parked cars, according to a Carmel Towing manager.

Tyler said he was hoisting Sosa's Nissan Xterra onto his truck, when the Xterra's owner jumped inside his car and drove it off the tow truck. He said it broke off the Xterra's bumper. According to Tyler, the car's owner accused him of breaking the bumper and took a swing at him, prompting Tyler to fire the pepper spray in defense. He said he didn't see any children when he fired the spray.

"I wanted to get out of there and call 911," he said.

After the encounter, Tyler phoned authorities to report that someone fired shots at him, which led to additional charges, officials said. He told Sheriff's Deputy M. Berman that he thought he "heard a pop."

"I am not sure," Tyler allegedly said. "It had to be a gun."

Deputies questioned Tyler's version of events and determined no one at the party fired a gun, the Sheriff's Office said. Tyler also was charged with issuing a false report during the commission of a crime and misuse of 911.

While being arrested, Tyler told Berman that he couldn't afford to go to jail.

"I know a drug dealer I can give you," Tyler told the deputy, according to the Sheriff's Office. When Berman said he wasn't in the narcotics unit, Tyler then allegedly said, "you can have all the cash in my wallet if you let me out of here."

In his report, Berman wrote that he initially ignored the offer, but Tyler again tried to bribe him five minutes later. "I'll call my job and have them sign over my $500 paycheck to you," Tyler said, according to the deputy.

Berman called his sergeant and told him to bring an audio recorder. Tyler then allegedly repeated the bribe, and it was recorded by the Sheriff's Office. A copy of the recording has not been made public.

Tyler denied trying to bribe Berman and said he didn't know he was being recorded. "We were having a conversation, and he tried to make it into something," he said.

After being freed from jail, Tyler said he was back at work Wednesday.

Tyler's manager, David Gonzalez, said he went to the scene Sunday and also described the crowd as being intoxicated. "My guy was trying to defend himself," Gonzalez said. "He did nothing wrong."
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Old 05-30-2013, 07:42 PM   #134
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Anthony Bruce Berry, 57, is accused of rubbing his sex organ against the door of a business in Lantana, Fla.

Some guys like blondes, others like brunettes, but Anthony Bruce Berry allegedly has a thing for doors.

Berry, 57, was arrested Monday for allegedly rubbing his sex organ against the door of a business in Lantana, Fla.

According to the probable cause affidavit obtained by The Huffington Post, a witness observed the suspect attempt to open the front door of the business, the name of which has been redacted.

When he couldn't, he whipped out his own knob and started to, as the report describes it, "hump the front door in a vulgar manner."

After completing his front door banging -- which was reportedly captured on the witness' iPhone -- Berry walked over to a nearby bus stop and sat on the bench.

The arresting officer confronted the suspect and asked him if he had recently exposed his private parts, to which, Berry allegedly said, "Yes, I have a mental problem."

The officer said Berry continued to make similar statements before he was arrested for exposing his sexual organs.

Berry was subsequently taken to the Palm Beach County Jail, then released two hours later. No word on the condition of the jail doors after his brief visit.

This isn't Berry's first bout with the law. He has faced charges of indecent exposure two times before, and has had 32 other arrests for charges such as robbery, sexual assault and cocaine possession since 1979, the Sun-Sentinel reported.
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Old 06-03-2013, 10:15 AM   #135
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When Stepfon Muse and his wife started arguing last Wednesday, he wanted to nip it in the bud.

Instead, he nipped her in the butt, police say. The 30-year-old Palm Bay, Fla. man was arrested on charges of aggravated battery after investigators saw a visible bite mark on the victim's caboose, WKMG reports.

Police were called to check out reports of a disturbance between the couple, and found Muse and his wife in their car, according to WTSP. The victim claimed that she tried to get out of the car but Muse restrained her, struck her and then bit her buttocks.

Muse was arrested and held without bond at the Brevard County Jail.

Couples across the country seem to be going for sensitive areas during their arguments lately.

Christina Salinas, of Sacramento, Calif., allegedly bit her husband's penis late last month because he wanted her to leave a rodeo early. Her victim, Anthony Hill, is recovering. He apparently regrets having called the police.

And in April, Catherine Kieu was convicted of drugging her estranged husband, cutting off his penis and throwing it in the garbage disposal, according to The Associated Press. Frank Bittar, Kieu's public defender, argued during the trial that Kieu's husband had verbally and sexually abused her during their marriage.
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