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Old 01-15-2013, 04:13 PM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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This Week's Important Florida News!

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.
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Old 03-27-2013, 01:48 PM   #46
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And in other news - My tee time this weekend is 11:45 at the beach. Will be a frigid 75 degrees.
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:05 PM   #47
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And in other news - My tee time this weekend is 11:45 at the beach. Will be a frigid 75 degrees.
**** off
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:38 PM   #48
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I am very confident that Florida will pick up their burst very soon. They don't go very long without a brain bending news story.

Well, after all, this is a state that voted Obama two times in a row...

Go Libs!
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Old 03-27-2013, 02:41 PM   #49
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http://https://mobile.twitter.com/_FloridaMan

One of the most entertaining twitter feeds out there.

There is also - https://mobile.twitter.com/_Flor1daWoman
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Old 03-27-2013, 03:45 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by mikey23545 View Post
Well, after all, this is a state that voted Obama two times in a row...

Go Libs!
Along with several other states, I'm sure.
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Old 03-27-2013, 03:51 PM   #51
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Heh, Wonder Works does work with my company. Good folks!

http://tinyurl.com/cxen6yv

Kathryn Wright, 58, has been charged with battery and disorderly intoxication.

Someone always gets feisty and into trouble school field trips, but it's not supposed to be the chaperone.

Kathryn Wright, 58, allegedly became drunk and belligerent while chaperoning her grandson's March 21 field trip with Lockmar Elementary School in Palm Bay, Fla., Florida Today reported.

The bus was driving back from Wonder Works in Orlando when the grandmother allegedly began stumbling around and shooting curse words at other chaperones.

"The kids were really upset," fellow chaperone Shaun Hewett told Florida Today.

When one adult tried to intervene, Wright allegedly yelled, "Get the **** out of my way or else," according to the Miami New Times. She also allegedly pushed a woman who tried to help her up after she had fallen on the floor.

The situation got so severe that someone called the cops. Paramedics were needed to take Wright, who was unable to walk or stand, to the hospital.

According to an arrest report obtained by WESH, Wright later admitted that "I had two bottles of diluted vodka. I drank both and threw one in the garbage at Wonder Works."

Police say Wright had marked her bottles of liquid refreshment with a "K."

Hewett noted that guidance counselors would be talking to the children about what happened.

Wright was charged with battery and disorderly intoxication.
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Old 03-27-2013, 03:55 PM   #52
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I imagine Blowfish's day is consumed by Weird Florida news Google searches.
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Old 03-27-2013, 04:11 PM   #53
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I'd never heard of Wonder Works before. Seems to me if you aren't getting your buzz on there, you're not doing it right.
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Old 03-27-2013, 04:13 PM   #54
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Wonder Works is like science city here in KC. It's a science based fun factory for kids. There's a string of them across the Southeastern US.
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Old 03-27-2013, 05:22 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
Sun Sentinel Boynton Beach police say a Lantana woman tried to pawn off jewelry from where she worked to help her regain her repossessed car. J.C. Penney jewelry section manager, Chelsey Adele Edwards, 25, was arrested Friday and faces charges of stolen property, larceny and fraud.

It began when a loss prevention officer at J.C. Penney in the Boynton Beach Mall told police Edwards came to him with a men’s necklace, ring, and bracelet in a jewelry bag that Edwards said she found in the store safe, according to an arrest report. After the loss prevention officer told Edwards to put the items back in the safe so he could investigate it later, police say he received a tip that she had pawned off the jewelry instead of putting the jewelry back. When the officer checked the safe, only the necklace was inside.

A search by police found Edwards had pawned the other items, valued at about $1,034, at a West Palm Beach business for $500, according to the report.

When I first saw Chelsey Adele Edwards’ mugshot, I thought she was going to be the leader in the clubhouse as world’s most infamous female serial killer, and assumed that they had found 1,000 bodies buried on her property. Look at those crazy eyes! I know her crime wasn’t that bad, but look at her face, somebody needs to check her crawl space for bodies.

Nope. Just stole a little jewelry from the J.C. Penney that she works at and tried to pawn it to get her repossessed car out of impound.

Chelsey Adele Edwards will be fired from her job, but probably will not serve too much hard time for this crime, however she will live forever in infamy in the Mugshot Hall Of Fame.
The Walking Dead.
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Old 03-29-2013, 03:06 PM   #56
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"Help...I've been sexually assaulted...
Ooooh.....what were you wearing?....tell me real slow...."

http://tinyurl.com/ckp5asj

When a domestic violence victim in Lake County, Fla., called a sexual assault and domestic abuse hotline number she'd seen on a Sheriff's Office flyer, the automated message startled her.

"Welcome to America's hottest talk line," the recording said. "Ladies, talk to interesting and exciting guys, free, press one now. Guys, hot ladies are waiting to talk to you."

It turns out, Lake County Sheriff's Office accidentally listed a sex hotline as a sexual abuse hotline, WKMG reported. Sgt. Jim Vachon told the station that a victim made them aware of the mistake on Tuesday.

The 800 number -- on thousands of flyers -- was supposed to connect callers to the Haven, a victim's advocacy group.

Sgt. Jim Vachon told the station that a victim made them aware of the mistake on Tuesday.

WFTV 9 reported that the mixup occurred because the Sheriff's Office simply prints what it's given, and that was the number listed. A spokesperson told the station that they eventually traced the sex hotline number to an address of a former rape crisis center that Haven now runs.

But Haven has not used that address for nearly 20 years, according to Kelly Smallridge, the group's Executive Director.

"I was shocked and stunned. I had never seen that number before," she told the station. "As long as I've worked with this agency we haven't had a 1-800 number."

The Sheriff's Office has since corrected the error and distributed new flyers and pamphlets.

The incident mirrors that of Florida govenor Rick Scott, who, in 2010, mistakenly sent constituents seeking information on a fungal meningitis outbreak to a phone sex hotline.

The correct 24-hour hotline to the Haven of Lake and Sumter Counties is 352-753-5800 for domestic violence, or 352-787-1379 for sexual assault.
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Old 04-01-2013, 08:57 AM   #57
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A Florida woman was arrested after she allegedly pooped in a man's backyard and took a skinny dip in his swimming pool.

Cheryl Beauchamp, 35, was detained Thursday and charged with burglary, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.

The Palm Bay homeowner called police after he said he spotted Beauchamp on a home surveillance system, Click Orlando reported. He told officers he witnessed Beauchamp defecate in the yard before using a rock to cut the screen door that led to the pool.

Beauchamp allegedly told police she was "just taking a bath because she was homeless," according to a report obtained by WESH. Officers say she added that she was on her way to Washington D.C. to yell at Barack Obama.
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Old 04-01-2013, 09:00 AM   #58
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Beauchamp allegedly told police she was "just taking a bath because she was homeless," according to a report obtained by WESH. Officers say she added that she was on her way to Washington D.C. to yell at Barack Obama.
Lefty or righty I think we need to support the idea of being politically active...
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I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 04-01-2013, 10:39 AM   #59
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Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
A Florida woman was arrested after she allegedly pooped in a man's backyard and took a skinny dip in his swimming pool.

Cheryl Beauchamp, 35, was detained Thursday and charged with burglary, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.

The Palm Bay homeowner called police after he said he spotted Beauchamp on a home surveillance system, Click Orlando reported. He told officers he witnessed Beauchamp defecate in the yard before using a rock to cut the screen door that led to the pool.

Beauchamp allegedly told police she was "just taking a bath because she was homeless," according to a report obtained by WESH. Officers say she added that she was on her way to Washington D.C. to yell at Barack Obama.
I love this shit.... makes my home state look so great.
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Old 04-01-2013, 10:41 AM   #60
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If you check her picture, she looks kinda like Joe Biden. Maybe that's why she was going after Obama?
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