Home Mail MemberMap Chat (0) Wallpapers
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > The Lounge > D.C.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-16-2012, 08:11 PM  
BigRedChief BigRedChief is online now
Brainwashed
 
BigRedChief's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Swims with fishes
Casino cash: $299555
I'm Adam Lanza's mother. It’s time for a meaningful conversation about mental illness

This is all over the internet and emailed back and forth. But, maybe you have missed it and its a must read.

Written by Liza Long, republished from The Blue Review

Friday’s horrific national tragedy -- the murder of 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut -- has ignited a new discussion on violence in America. In kitchens and coffee shops across the country, we tearfully debate the many faces of violence in America: gun culture, media violence, lack of mental health services, overt and covert wars abroad, religion, politics and the way we raise our children. Liza Long, a writer based in Boise, says it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

While every family's story of mental illness is different, and we may never know the whole of the Lanza's story, tales like this one need to be heard -- and families who live them deserve our help.

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books. His 7 and 9 year old siblings knew the safety plan -- they ran to the car and locked the doors before I even asked them to. I managed to get the knife from Michael, then methodically collected all the sharp objects in the house into a single Tupperware container that now travels with me. Through it all, he continued to scream insults at me and threaten to kill or hurt me.

That conflict ended with three burly police officers and a paramedic wrestling my son onto a gurney for an expensive ambulance ride to the local emergency room. The mental hospital didn’t have any beds that day, and Michael calmed down nicely in the ER, so they sent us home with a prescription for Zyprexa and a follow-up visit with a local pediatric psychiatrist.

We still don’t know what’s wrong with Michael. Autism spectrum, ADHD, Oppositional Defiant or Intermittent Explosive Disorder have all been tossed around at various meetings with probation officers and social workers and counselors and teachers and school administrators. He’s been on a slew of antipsychotic and mood altering pharmaceuticals, a Russian novel of behavioral plans. Nothing seems to work.

At the start of seventh grade, Michael was accepted to an accelerated program for highly gifted math and science students. His IQ is off the charts. When he’s in a good mood, he will gladly bend your ear on subjects ranging from Greek mythology to the differences between Einsteinian and Newtonian physics to Doctor Who. He’s in a good mood most of the time. But when he’s not, watch out. And it’s impossible to predict what will set him off.

Several weeks into his new junior high school, Michael began exhibiting increasingly odd and threatening behaviors at school. We decided to transfer him to the district’s most restrictive behavioral program, a contained school environment where children who can’t function in normal classrooms can access their right to free public babysitting from 7:30-1:50 Monday through Friday until they turn 18.

The morning of the pants incident, Michael continued to argue with me on the drive. He would occasionally apologize and seem remorseful. Right before we turned into his school parking lot, he said, “Look, Mom, I’m really sorry. Can I have video games back today?”

“No way,” I told him. “You cannot act the way you acted this morning and think you can get your electronic privileges back that quickly.”

His face turned cold, and his eyes were full of calculated rage. “Then I’m going to kill myself,” he said. “I’m going to jump out of this car right now and kill myself.”

That was it. After the knife incident, I told him that if he ever said those words again, I would take him straight to the mental hospital, no ifs, ands, or buts. I did not respond, except to pull the car into the opposite lane, turning left instead of right.
“Where are you taking me?” he said, suddenly worried. “Where are we going?”

“You know where we are going,” I replied.

“No! You can’t do that to me! You’re sending me to hell! You’re sending me straight to hell!”

I pulled up in front of the hospital, frantically waiving for one of the clinicians who happened to be standing outside. “Call the police,” I said. “Hurry.”

Michael was in a full-blown fit by then, screaming and hitting. I hugged him close so he couldn’t escape from the car. He bit me several times and repeatedly jabbed his elbows into my rib cage. I’m still stronger than he is, but I won’t be for much longer.
The police came quickly and carried my son screaming and kicking into the bowels of the hospital. I started to shake, and tears filled my eyes as I filled out the paperwork -- “Were there any difficulties with… at what age did your child… were there any problems with.. has your child ever experienced.. does your child have…”

At least we have health insurance now. I recently accepted a position with a local college, giving up my freelance career because when you have a kid like this, you need benefits. You’ll do anything for benefits. No individual insurance plan will cover this kind of thing.

For days, my son insisted that I was lying -- that I made the whole thing up so that I could get rid of him. The first day, when I called to check up on him, he said, “I hate you. And I’m going to get my revenge as soon as I get out of here.”

By day three, he was my calm, sweet boy again, all apologies and promises to get better. I’ve heard those promises for years. I don’t believe them anymore.

On the intake form, under the question, “What are your expectations for treatment?” I wrote, “I need help.”

And I do. This problem is too big for me to handle on my own. Sometimes there are no good options. So you just pray for grace and trust that in hindsight, it will all make sense.

I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

According to Mother Jones, since 1982, 61 mass murders involving firearms have occurred throughout the country. Of these, 43 of the killers were white males, and only one was a woman. Mother Jones focused on whether the killers obtained their guns legally (most did). But this highly visible sign of mental illness should lead us to consider how many people in the U.S. live in fear, like I do.

When I asked my son’s social worker about my options, he said that the only thing I could do was to get Michael charged with a crime. “If he’s back in the system, they’ll create a paper trail,” he said. “That’s the only way you’re ever going to get anything done. No one will pay attention to you unless you’ve got charges.”

I don’t believe my son belongs in jail. The chaotic environment exacerbates Michael’s sensitivity to sensory stimuli and doesn’t deal with the underlying pathology. But it seems like the United States is using prison as the solution of choice for mentally ill people. According to Human Rights Watch, the number of mentally ill inmates in U.S. prisons quadrupled from 2000 to 2006, and it continues to rise -- in fact, the rate of inmate mental illness is five times greater (56 percent) than in the non-incarcerated population.

With state-run treatment centers and hospitals shuttered, prison is now the last resort for the mentally ill -- Rikers Island, the LA County Jail and Cook County Jail in Illinois housed the nation’s largest treatment centers in 2011.

No one wants to send a 13-year old genius who loves Harry Potter and his snuggle animal collection to jail. But our society, with its stigma on mental illness and its broken healthcare system, does not provide us with other options. Then another tortured soul shoots up a fast food restaurant. A mall. A kindergarten classroom. And we wring our hands and say, “Something must be done.”

I agree that something must be done. It’s time for a meaningful, nation-wide conversation about mental health. That’s the only way our nation can ever truly heal.

God help me. God help Michael. God help us all
Posts: 42,493
BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 11:28 AM   #241
Ultra Peanut Ultra Peanut is offline
v^V^v^V^v^V^
 
Ultra Peanut's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Holland*
Casino cash: $176584
Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
well dammit ultrapeanut DESERVES it
You're goddamn right I deserve adequate care and to not die in the street if I hit a bad stretch of luck. You're also right that my mom deserved chemotherapy and radiation instead of being turned away until I had to give her thousands of dollars to get treatment. EVERYONE deserves a baseline level of access to services in a country as prosperous as the one we're living in. Assuming you're interested in a functional society, and all, it's important to not have vast disparities in standards of living where millions of people literally die for lack of care on one end while a small percentage of others live in the lap of luxury while extending their lives thanks to early, extensive access to -- wait for it -- the best health care in the world!. It does exist, but neither of us will ever taste it.

I deserve it, you deserve it, the 40 year old lady across the street who works three jobs to earn a living wage deserves it. I'm not asking for the impossible here, just a sane tax code that vaguely resembles that which was in place during the most successful decades America has ever had. It's not impossible for any reason other than a completely broken political system that doesn't serve anyone but the elite.

But again, this discussion goes nowhere and it doesn't matter what I say. Thanks for not listening, at all. Thanks for your for your ever-so-practical attitude that totally helps everyone around you live a better life.
__________________
Posts: 39,495
Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 11:31 AM   #242
loochy loochy is offline
That's what she said.
 
loochy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: TECKSIS
Casino cash: $440833828
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut View Post
But again, this discussion goes nowhere and it doesn't matter what I say. Thanks for not listening, at all.
I say the same to you.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
Posts: 17,846
loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 11:33 AM   #243
Ultra Peanut Ultra Peanut is offline
v^V^v^V^v^V^
 
Ultra Peanut's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Holland*
Casino cash: $176584
You're absolutely welcome~

No but seriously, **** you. I don't want things for myself, I want substantive changes to the fundamental underpinnings of our corroded, toxic society so I'm not living in a mad max hellhole by the time I'm 40.
__________________
Posts: 39,495
Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 11:41 AM   #244
patteeu patteeu is offline
The 23rd Pillar
 
patteeu's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2002
Casino cash: $473425
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut View Post
You're absolutely welcome~

No but seriously, **** you. I don't want things for myself, I want substantive changes to the fundamental underpinnings of our corroded, toxic society so I'm not living in a mad max hellhole by the time I'm 40.
That's weird, because it sounds to me like you want to drag us into that mad max hellhole.
__________________


"I'll see you guys in New York." ISIS Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi to US military personnel upon his release from US custody at Camp Bucca in Iraq during Obama's first year in office.
Posts: 75,743
patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.patteeu is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 11:42 AM   #245
Ultra Peanut Ultra Peanut is offline
v^V^v^V^v^V^
 
Ultra Peanut's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Holland*
Casino cash: $176584
l-o-llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
__________________
Posts: 39,495
Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 11:51 AM   #246
loochy loochy is offline
That's what she said.
 
loochy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: TECKSIS
Casino cash: $440833828
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut View Post
You're absolutely welcome~

No but seriously, **** you. I don't want things for myself, I want substantive changes to the fundamental underpinnings of our corroded, toxic society so I'm not living in a mad max hellhole by the time I'm 40.
So you result to this because I don't agree with you about how to fix society?

It sounds like you might be part of the problem you talk about.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
Posts: 17,846
loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 11:56 AM   #247
Calcountry Calcountry is offline
Shoot the tube
 
Calcountry's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Where I am
Casino cash: $4678
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigRedChief View Post
Yep, that's what always happens. Its always first.

The good thing is that probably 99% of people who need mental help don't have thoughts of hurting others. Does anyone know what the exact % is?
What the heck difference does it make? Just pick a percent, then beat the hell out of the number until it is branded to the point that a majority of the people actually believe they are a part of whatever that "n" % is.
__________________
Amerika, Amerika, I shed my grace on Thee.
Posts: 26,814
Calcountry would the whole thing.Calcountry would the whole thing.Calcountry would the whole thing.Calcountry would the whole thing.Calcountry would the whole thing.Calcountry would the whole thing.Calcountry would the whole thing.Calcountry would the whole thing.Calcountry would the whole thing.Calcountry would the whole thing.Calcountry would the whole thing.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 11:58 AM   #248
Ultra Peanut Ultra Peanut is offline
v^V^v^V^v^V^
 
Ultra Peanut's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Holland*
Casino cash: $176584
Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
So you result to this because I don't agree with you about how to fix society?

It sounds like you might be part of the problem you talk about.
Oh right, I forgot that you didn't insult me or suggest that I'm selfish for wanting a more functional society that helps everyone avoid the horrors experienced by many Americans on a daily basis. Not at all.
__________________
Posts: 39,495
Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.Ultra Peanut wants to die in a aids tree fire.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 12:01 PM   #249
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
BucPatriot
 
BucEyedPea's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: None of your business
Casino cash: $107686
Drugs are related to crime in many ways. Not just SSRI's.
__________________
“Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the Government’s purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.” — James Madison
Posts: 56,177
BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 12:10 PM   #250
loochy loochy is offline
That's what she said.
 
loochy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: TECKSIS
Casino cash: $440833828
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut View Post
Oh right, I forgot that you didn't insult me or suggest that I'm selfish for wanting a more functional society that helps everyone avoid the horrors experienced by many Americans on a daily basis. Not at all.
You aren't selfish for wanting that. You DESERVE it.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
Posts: 17,846
loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 12:11 PM   #251
loochy loochy is offline
That's what she said.
 
loochy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: TECKSIS
Casino cash: $440833828
Quote:
Originally Posted by BucEyedPea View Post
Drugs are related to crime in many ways. Not just SSRI's.
Yes, but aren't most of those mechanisms and effects already understood?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
yeah i may be a retard but I'll be the one banging your girlfriend when you're out with your friends.
Posts: 17,846
loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.loochy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-19-2012, 12:29 PM   #252
BucEyedPea BucEyedPea is offline
BucPatriot
 
BucEyedPea's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: None of your business
Casino cash: $107686
Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
Yes, but aren't most of those mechanisms and effects already understood?
I don't know. Just seemed worth a mention.
__________________
“Experience should teach us to be most on our guard to protect liberty when the Government’s purposes are beneficent. Men born to freedom are naturally alert to repel invasion of their liberty by evil-minded rulers. The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.” — James Madison
Posts: 56,177
BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.BucEyedPea is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-20-2012, 10:40 AM   #253
Comrade Crapski Comrade Crapski is offline
Banned
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sea of Green 23.4°
Casino cash: $28270
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deberg_1990 View Post
Who knows what sort of nonsense Mom was filling this kid with?

Shes been described as a survivalist, obsessed with guns.....had a beef with the school system...divorced......Her son has been described as an outcast, loner.
I'm surprised her husband waited 17 years to finally ditch those two.




Quote:
Originally Posted by headsnap View Post
it's no longer 'guns don't kill people, people kill people', it's now 'guns don't kill people, it's mentally ill people who know people who own guns who kill people.'



the new narrative!


sad but true
Posts: 3,833
Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.Comrade Crapski is too fat/Omaha.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:02 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.