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Old 12-03-2012, 08:50 AM  
BIG_DADDY BIG_DADDY is offline
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The line and intervention

In retrospect after the last couple days and hearing what Quinn had to say I thought it might be interesting to round table the idea of intervention or what somebody might be able to do when they have a friend in trouble and where is the line crossed where you feel you have the right to intervene. I have to say I have no answer. I know more people in unhealthy relationships than healthy ones. My definition of healthy would be an interdependent relationship instead of a codependent one. Once a person is in that codependent relationship the psychological dumping starts then it can escalate into cruelty, verbal abuse and even physical abuse just to name a few. Of course if it does get physical those are the skeletons that stay in the closet for the most part. It has been my experience that people in these codependent relationships actually feel the need to be in them and cannot convert over into a healthy relationship without a lot of professional help and you being a friend certainly are not going to take them there. The last friend was actually a psychology major, imagine that. I find it very hard to be able to do anything.
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:02 AM   #2
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Men have a hard time opening up to other people. And if they do it might be a general statement like "I've been arguing a lot with my woman" and then as a buddy you might reply "yeah they can be real bitches" and leave it like that.
Then go get another can of beer and watch the game.

You really need to talk to a psychologist to really open up and let yourself speak freely about it i think. Also the person might be afraid you could talk about what he said to other friends and family all the ugly details of what they shared with you.

Again i think a trained professional in the field of psychology is the way to go.
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:14 AM   #3
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Nobody can help a man dealing with a post-pregnancy hormonal woman who is threatening to take your child, and your $$$



Lets start talking about the real issue that led to the tragedy. Let us stop hiding
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:20 AM   #4
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They had no business having a child. Not mature enough to deal with the responsibilities.
sad to say. Hope the child is taken care of and grows up to be a better person.
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:24 AM   #5
BIG_DADDY BIG_DADDY is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairplay View Post
Men have a hard time opening up to other people. And if they do it might be a general statement like "I've been arguing a lot with my woman" and then as a buddy you might reply "yeah they can be real bitches" and leave it like that.
Then go get another can of beer and watch the game.

You really need to talk to a psychologist to really open up and let yourself speak freely about it i think. Also the person might be afraid you could talk about what he said to other friends and family all the ugly details of what they shared with you.

Again i think a trained professional in the field of psychology is the way to go.
That is exactly what I did with the last friend and he went but it didn't help. He wants and needs that codependent unhealthy relationship for whatever reason. He told the psychologist that she was telling him the same things I was. She asked what else I had said looking for some additional insight in his situation and then just told him that she liked his friend. I think people like that have to really want change badly and work on it. You don't see too many adults maturing late in life. I guess you just have to take them as they are as you are just not going to make any real difference ar help them avoid a potential disastor.
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:27 AM   #6
Fairplay Fairplay is offline
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sad to say. Hope the child is taken care of and grows up to be a better person.


Here is a short article on how the innocent child will be taken care of. Hopefully the guardian of her will use this money wisely through the years.


http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports...ghter/1741165/
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:31 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY View Post
That is exactly what I did with the last friend and he went but it didn't help. He wants and needs that codependent unhealthy relationship for whatever reason. He told the psychologist that she was telling him the same things I was. She asked what else I had said looking for some additional insight in his situation and then just told him that she liked his friend. I think people like that have to really want change badly and work on it. You don't see too many adults maturing late in life. I guess you just have to take them as they are as you are just not going to make any real difference ar help them avoid a potential disastor.


I know what you mean. I've had several people through the years both female and male that the person they are dating is bad for them and they need to break it. They never listen. One had twin girls and months after they was born she divorced him. He kept telling me i should have listened to my friends. I told him too late now, you messed up.
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:34 AM   #8
BIG_DADDY BIG_DADDY is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairplay View Post
Here is a short article on how the innocent child will be taken care of. Hopefully the guardian of her will use this money wisely through the years.


http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports...ghter/1741165/
It's cool that everyone is pitching in. It would be nice if there is follow through years from now.
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:37 AM   #9
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It's cool that everyone is pitching in. It would be nice if there is follow through years from now.


The big question would be how it is doled out over the years and who is in control of the money. I would hope that there is still money in it for 18 years of her life but could see it all spent by the time she is five unfortunately.
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