I hate the internet - Thanksgiving Edition

[OnTheWarpath58]

Cooking a 22 pound bird tomorrow for only the second time in my life. (long story) Was putting together my schedule for tomorrow to at least try to time everything correctly and made the mistake of looking at multiple websites to try to determine an approximate cooking time for this beast.

The plan is to roast it unstuffed, in the oven, at 325*. Bird is sitting in a brine as we speak.

I've been to 10 different websites, and they all seem to say something different. I'm seeing times ranging from 3.5 hours all the way up to 6.

Help a brother out - roughly how long is this bird going to take?

[OnTheWarpath58]

Just found an app on Butterball's website, it's saying 3.5-4.

My favorite grilling/BBQ website has an entire page dedicated to turkey, and it is saying 3-3.5.

I'm gonna plan on 3.5-4 hours. And I think I'm gonna start a shade early just in case, and resort to using a cambro if it's done early.

[DeezNutz]

Originally Posted by Dayze

Don't eat it too early....you'll get worms.

cdcox is pissed, but his wife has a retort.

[Johnny Vegas]

Just remember that the ideal time is 15 minutes per pound. Some people even preach 20 minutes per pound.

[Dayze]

Don't listen to Johnny Vegas...he doesn't know shit.

It's 3 minutes per pound.

[DeezNutz]

It's five minutes per pound; these ****ing True Fans don't know shit.

[Johnny Vegas]

Originally Posted by Dayze

Don't listen to Johnny Vegas...he doesn't know shit.

It's 3 minutes per pound.

Yep three minutes per pound in the microwave.

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by Johnny Vegas

Yep three minutes per pound in the microwave.

and leave it uncovered. That's what makes it juicy.

[Johnny Vegas]

Originally Posted by Dayze

and leave it uncovered. That's what makes it juicy.

I think the trick was leaving a can of Budweiser with the bird in the microwave. Explosion of juices.

[scott free]

Originally Posted by Dayze

Don't listen to Johnny Vegas...he doesn't know shit.

It's 3 minutes per pound.

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by Johnny Vegas

I think the trick was leaving a can of Budweiser with the bird in the microwave. Explosion of juices.

I see what you did there

[Johnny Vegas]

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

It's five minutes per pound; these ****ing True Fans don't know shit.

If I didn't know any better it sounds like a black Friday deal in London at the local peep show theatre.

[Bowser]

Come to ChiefsPlanet for advice on cooking Thanksgiving turkey, end up eating take out Chinese.

Sounds about right.

[scott free]

Originally Posted by Bowser

Yeah, I'm curious. I'll report back and how they turn out.

BEST CASE - Nom Nom Yummy, fall asleep drooling on self
WORST CASE - Combination of jalapenos and deviled egg stuff (not to mention the rest of Thanksgiving fare) sends intestines into spastic shock, turning tomorrow into a story that starts "Remember the year Bowser barely made it to the toilet on time?" "Yeah. We had to freaking leave! I was scared for his health!"

I'm going to go ahead and call NOM NOM right now.

The stuffing and all of the other goodies in your gut will soak up the japs.

[OnTheWarpath58]

Originally Posted by Bowser

Come to ChiefsPlanet for advice on cooking Thanksgiving turkey, end up eating take out Chinese.

Sounds about right.

If all else fails, I'll drink my dinner.

New bottle of Laphroaig 18 year, new bottle of Black Maple Hill bourbon, a case of Tank 7 and a half case of Bell's Two Hearted Ale.

I think I'm set.

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by Bowser

Come to ChiefsPlanet for advice on cooking Thanksgiving turkey, end up eating take out Chinese.

Sounds about right.

lol. no shit.

Don't trust CP for anything except antifreeze advice.

oh...and AIDS.