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Old 07-21-2012, 03:57 AM  
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is offline
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Count Alex's Losses; 12-26-2012 at 09:03 AM..
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Old 10-28-2012, 08:28 PM   #796
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coogs View Post
Not sure if Gus actually gets the credit for this game since he didn't start it.
Bullshit. He dropped back to pass 37 times.

Quinn took all of 11 snaps in this game.

It's on the Casshole.
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Old 10-28-2012, 08:30 PM   #797
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Originally Posted by hometeam View Post
he played all but a few snaps. he gets the blame.
Oh I agree. Just don't know if he gets the "official" stats that we are keeping track of here. Don't want a ****ing asterisk to be added to these stats.
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Old 10-28-2012, 08:32 PM   #798
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Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Bullshit. He dropped back to pass 37 times.

Quinn took all of 11 snaps in this game.

It's on the Casshole.
I agree Clay. Just don't know if the NFL does. I assume this loss goes on Quinn's record... not Cassel's.
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Old 10-29-2012, 12:57 AM   #799
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Old 10-29-2012, 01:01 AM   #800
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"I competed today."



Good job, Cassel. Good effort.
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Old 10-29-2012, 01:03 AM   #801
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
"I competed today."



Good job, Cassel. Good effort.
Romeo hands out gold stars for that kind of stuff.
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Old 10-29-2012, 01:07 AM   #802
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Well, ****.

This Casshole had his highest QB rating of the year today at 85.1

****ing garbage time TDs, man. Cramping my style.
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Old 10-29-2012, 01:09 AM   #803
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Luckily his fumbles are killing him to even the casual viewer. Stats can't save him anymore with a large part of the fan base, and finally, the media.
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Old 10-29-2012, 01:11 AM   #804
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He even screwed up the Eliminate Bad Football reference.

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Old 10-29-2012, 01:15 AM   #805
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeezNutz View Post
Why has the old Whitlock thread been locked?

The thread contains absolutely valid, topical points of discussion.
No clue. I unlocked it - mostly because it looked like I was the one who locked it as the last poster in it.
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Old 10-29-2012, 08:02 AM   #806
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Well, ****.

This Casshole had his highest QB rating of the year today at 85.1

****ing garbage time TDs, man. Cramping my style.
He could have at least helped my fantasy team and thrown some of that garbage to Bowe.
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Old 10-29-2012, 08:08 AM   #807
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Charles gave me 1 point.

1 ****ing point.

Thanks Chiefs coaching staff.
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Old 10-29-2012, 09:29 AM   #808
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Old 10-29-2012, 10:00 AM   #809
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Originally Posted by CoMoChief View Post
Charles gave me 1 point.

1 ****ing point.

Thanks Cleveland coaching staff.
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Old 10-29-2012, 01:00 PM   #810
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A dramatic reading of the declaration, complete with pertinent statistics, has been commissioned and delivered.

We will commemorate our freedom.
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