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Old 07-21-2012, 03:57 AM  
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is offline
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Count Alex's Losses; 12-26-2012 at 09:03 AM..
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Old 07-21-2012, 06:50 PM   #106
Chiefs Pantalones Chiefs Pantalones is offline
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Freaking awesome work man. It made me laugh and cry at the same time knowing he's still on our team. This is the greatest thread of all time.
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Old 07-21-2012, 06:51 PM   #107
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The message of freedom is spreading.

http://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments...the_people_vs/
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Old 07-21-2012, 06:53 PM   #108
BoneKrusher BoneKrusher is offline
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You can find some bullshit on twitter.

if that was in my collection i'd burn it.
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Old 07-21-2012, 06:57 PM   #109
wazu wazu is offline
...
 
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if that was in my collection i'd burn it.
Screw that. Sell it to Pioli for big money.
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Old 07-21-2012, 06:58 PM   #110
BoneKrusher BoneKrusher is offline
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Screw that. Sell it to Pioli for big money.
yeah good idea.
he can spank his monkey to it.
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Old 07-21-2012, 09:22 PM   #111
Al Bundy Al Bundy is offline
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Well... this is interesting.
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Old 07-21-2012, 09:51 PM   #112
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The message of freedom is spreading.

http://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments...the_people_vs/
Nice. 14 points now.
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Old 07-21-2012, 09:54 PM   #113
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Matt Cassel is plotting to firebomb Clay's mom's basement right now.
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Old 07-21-2012, 09:57 PM   #114
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I just noticed that you shopped Bowe and Haley's heads into one of the pics.
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Old 07-21-2012, 10:43 PM   #115
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While it is true Cassel made some big plays in the win over the Steelers in 2009, that game also included a 97 yard KO return for a TD to open the game by Charles.

The Chiefs then went down by a score of 17-7 at half.

Enter Andy Studebakers 15 minutes of fame as an NFL player. Two 3rd quarter Interceptions... one of which he returned 94 yards to the Steelers 8 yard line, and resulted in two Matt Cassel sacks followed by a 27 yard FG by Succop to tie the game at 17.

Cassel then probably had some of his finer moments as a Chiefs QB to tie the game at 24.

In OT, when it appeared the Chiefs were going to lose, Big Ben was injured and Charlie Batch took over at QB with the Steelers right on the brink of FG range.

The Chiefs held.

Chris Chambers took a short pass and turned it into a 61 yard gain to the Steelers 4. Succop ended it.
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Old 07-21-2012, 10:52 PM   #116
ChiefsandO'sfan ChiefsandO'sfan is offline
Alex Smith
 
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Pioli's boondoggle. Rest of the roster is good enough to contend. RT @ChiefsOrioles12: Just how bad Cassel is http://bit.ly/NEKmn6 #Chiefs


Clay i got him to RT this.
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Old 07-21-2012, 10:58 PM   #117
Count Alex's Losses Count Alex's Losses is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by notorious View Post
Matt Cassel is plotting to firebomb Clay's mom's basement right now.
He'll miss.
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Old 07-21-2012, 10:58 PM   #118
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I just noticed that you shopped Bowe and Haley's heads into one of the pics.
They are free men.
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Old 07-21-2012, 11:01 PM   #119
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Cassel then probably had some of his finer moments as a Chiefs QB to tie the game at 24.
Yes, he did. And we have to give him full credit for it. That was a good ending to that game for Cassel, especially since Bowe wasn't playing.

If I don't give Cassel credit for his successes, however minor, I can't feel 100% justified in burying him for his mistakes.
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Old 07-21-2012, 11:03 PM   #120
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Yes, he did. And we have to give him full credit for it. That was a good ending to that game for Cassel, especially since Bowe wasn't playing.

If I don't give Cassel credit for his successes, however minor, I can't feel 100% justified in burying him for his mistakes.
Agreed.

BTW... good thread!
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