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Old 01-23-2006, 10:07 AM  
Clint in Wichita Clint in Wichita is offline
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Online flirting

Is online flirting, when you know your S.O. disapproves, OK because you "are only flirting online and not in the real world"?

My opinion (surprise, surprise) is that it's not OK, period. It's said to be OK because it's not face-to-face, and online it's just fun and games.

I call bull****. People meet online friends in person all the time. They even meet their future spouses online. The "it's only online" argument is bogus.

I would also imagine that many of those who feel it's OK would be less than eager to have their own S.O.s discover their activity.

Thoughts?

Last edited by Clint in Wichita; 01-23-2006 at 03:25 PM..
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:22 AM   #16
mlyonsd mlyonsd is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
1. Would she care if I were reading it(or would I care if she read my posts)
IMO that's the first and best question to figuring out if you've gone too far.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:23 AM   #17
Clint in Wichita Clint in Wichita is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
I only participate in football message boards and poker sites. I always assume its a dude on the other end, unless I know better.

I made a rule with my wife before we hitched that when I wasn't around, she should simply ask herself.."If Iowanian were watching or listening right now, would he be pissed off?" If the answer is yes, don't do it.

I do my best to follow the same rule.

I think my limit would be the following.
1. Would she care if I were reading it(or would I care if she read my posts)
2. Is it in the public forum?
If it were in Email or PM form....Heads would roll for sure.

I trust my bride and she has no reason not to trust me, so its not a problem.

But I'm an asshole.

I concur, word-for-word.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:23 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
I only participate in football message boards and poker sites. I always assume its a dude on the other end, unless I know better.

I made a rule with my wife before we hitched that when I wasn't around, she should simply ask herself.."If Iowanian were watching or listening right now, would he be pissed off?" If the answer is yes, don't do it.

I do my best to follow the same rule.

I think my limit would be the following.
1. Would she care if I were reading it(or would I care if she read my posts)
2. Is it in the public forum?
If it were in Email or PM form....Heads would roll for sure.

I trust my bride and she has no reason not to trust me, so its not a problem.

But I'm an asshole.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:24 AM   #19
Katipan Katipan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clint in Wichita
Keep in mind that "flirting" can cover an awful lot of territory...especially online. I'm not just talking about a giggle or a wink.

Of course, some people feel nothing is wrong until bodily fluids are exchanged.
Eh. It's nothing against how anyone else feels. I adore Iowanni and I think his philosophy is nuts too. But since I don't get to date him, I'll just have to accept that it works for his relationship.

There are more than a couple flirty PMs in my box. But I wouldn't hide a damn one of them from my guy.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:25 AM   #20
Clint in Wichita Clint in Wichita is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KCTitus
Does 'flirting' also include unwarranted positive 'rep'?

I really need a ruling on this one.
That all depends on the message that accompanies the rep.

If the rep was only sent so as to type out a "secret message" to the recpient, then you may have flirting going on!
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:26 AM   #21
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:27 AM   #22
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Clint,

Insecurity is unattractive, just thought you would like to know. The level of attraction your women feels for you is what makes her want to stay with you. How does it feel going through life with a big red insecurity button on your chest that everyone knows is there and can push to make you go off anytime they want? What's even more ridiculous is were talking about a guy who's woman brings other women home to him.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:28 AM   #23
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iowanian
I only participate in football message boards and poker sites. I always assume its a dude on the other end, unless I know better.

I made a rule with my wife before we hitched that when I wasn't around, she should simply ask herself.."If Iowanian were watching or listening right now, would he be pissed off?" If the answer is yes, don't do it.

I do my best to follow the same rule.

I think my limit would be the following.
1. Would she care if I were reading it(or would I care if she read my posts)
2. Is it in the public forum?
If it were in Email or PM form....Heads would roll for sure.

I trust my bride and she has no reason not to trust me, so its not a problem.

But I'm an asshole.
So why are you always flirting with Chiefs4me then?
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:29 AM   #24
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I just wanna make it clear to everyone right now.... clint's wife did NOT take my virginity.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:29 AM   #25
RedNFeisty RedNFeisty is offline
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:31 AM   #26
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mer
Eh. It's nothing against how anyone else feels. I adore Iowanni and I think his philosophy is nuts too. But since I don't get to date him, I'll just have to accept that it works for his relationship.

There are more than a couple flirty PMs in my box. But I wouldn't hide a damn one of them from my guy.

Lets clarify something specifically.
I'm very confident in my relationship and the job I do at home. I have no reason to be jealous of anything my wife does. Initially, I didn't like it that she was still friendly with a former long term boyfriend, but once I met the guy, I could care less if they talk on the phone twice a year, or if she wants to have a drink with him and other friends at their class reunion that I hope to dodge again.

For the most part....I'm the one dinking around online, and if she is, its asking other hens about home remedies for infant constipation.

Under other circumstances, with another woman, with other morals and scruples than the one I chose to be with.....my story might go a little different.

I trust her, and I'd let her read anything here or in my email she wanted. She doesn't ask, because she trusts me, but she could.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:33 AM   #27
Clint in Wichita Clint in Wichita is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY
Clint,

Insecurity is unattractive, just thought you would like to know. The level of attraction your women feels for you is what makes her want to stay with you. How does it feel going through life with a big red insecurity button on your chest that everyone knows is there and can push to make you go off anytime they want? What's even more ridiculous is were talking about a guy who's woman brings other women home to him.

What makes you so sure I posted this for personal reasons?

As for the last sentence, don't believe everything you read.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:34 AM   #28
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I think I would be angry about that. The question to me isn't, "is there anything wrong with it", it's "why do you feel the need to do that...?"
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:41 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cochise
I think I would be angry about that. The question to me isn't, "is there anything wrong with it", it's "why do you feel the need to do that...?"
Cause flirting's fun. It's not that you need to do it... but, it beats the hell out of arguing.
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Old 01-23-2006, 10:42 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY
What's even more ridiculous is were talking about a guy who's woman brings other women home to him.

kinda like feeding jabba the hut?

She opens the door and lets the unsuspecting woman in, flicks on the lights, gives her a push, and shuts the door.

the screams echo through the halls of the housing project, then are silenced...
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