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Old 01-17-2006, 10:49 AM  
mike_b_284 mike_b_284 is offline
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Psycho ex-stories

I just broke up with my girlfriend this weekend and she isn't taking very well. And by well I mean with a shred of effing sanity. Some crazy **** has been going down. I think she might start stalking me. She came by to get the last of her stuff from my apartment. I went to my room to check to make sure she had everything, when I came out her and my mp3 player were gone. I went to ask for it back and she kept denying it. I wrote it off and left, happy never to talk to her again. I went and played video games at my friend's for a couple hours, then went to quiktrip for some food. While I am eating my hot dog in the parking lot, I look over and there she is. Keep in mind this is twenty minutes from where I live and from where she lives. This means she was driving around for at least forty minutes looking for me. She gets in my car and starts sobbing, telling me she can't sleep and all she can do is cry. I ask for my stuff back and she says no. I tell her to get out of my car and she says no. Finally a cop walks up and asks if everything is okay, before I can tell him to remove the bitch from my car she gets out. She called well over 20 times since then and I am starting to get a little nervous.

How about your craziest ex's? rep to the worst
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:53 PM   #61
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:53 PM   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Dole
If you're going to go to that much trouble, then just freeze the body, cut it up with a chain saw and feed it through a wood chipper.
Someone actually did this in real life on Court TV. They found the body.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:57 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by cdcox
Someone actually did this in real life on Court TV. They found the body.

Well, it was just stupid to do it on TV.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:59 PM   #64
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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If you're going to do it you need to get REALLY creative. Get back together with her and take a make-up trip to some romantic third world country. Make sure her friends and family see you two happily reunited and be damn sure one sees you two get on the plane together.

Once there, wait a couple of days then get in a fight big enough to get her to leave. AFTER she's gone through the ticket counter and checked in at the airport appologize your butt off and coax her back to the hotel. NOW whack her. Who gives a crap what you do with the body, the cops won't care and the locals will just be happy to have a shot at a white chick.

A couple of days later start calling her friends and family back in the US. Tell them you had a big argument and she left in a huff, you are trying to find her and get her to come back over to finish the vacation. Make sure someone has discovered that she did check in at the airport, then fly home to continue your search, OJ-style.
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:01 PM   #65
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:08 PM   #66
Mike in SW-MO Mike in SW-MO is offline
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Shortly after I got to my ship, the MS Chief (cook) got whacked in his bed. I remember having a big ceremony in the helo hangar for the widow and the 2 kids. About a week later the police arrested her for the murder.

The Navy had increased life insurance from $100G to $250G and she and her boyfrirnd decided they's kill the chief for the money. In the middle of the night she let the BY in the apartment. The BY then bludged him to death. Then she took a sleeping pill and lay down in the bloody bed, so she could say that she'd taken a sleeping pill and woke up not knowing what had happened.

What makes this especially cold, is the reports that he was still alive and dying when she crawled in bed.

Turns out the BY rolled over on her and told the whole story. Must have had second thoughts about sleeping with a woman that would do something like that.
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:14 PM   #67
Calcountry Calcountry is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Dole
If you're going to go to that much trouble, then just freeze the body, cut it up with a chain saw and feed it through a wood chipper.
You're from Fargo, right? Where is the money?
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:14 PM   #68
SquirrellyBastard SquirrellyBastard is offline
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This is not so much a psycho-ex story, but she is an ex.
I broke up with a girl because she answered the phone while giving me a bj. It was her Mom and my girlfriend left without fulfilling her duty. No fricking jailbait comments, we were both in our 20's...

Kinda "Seinfeld-ish", but never-the-less, I was pissed off. I called her the next day to end it. How could I stay with a girl that wasn't committed to something she started?

Maybe this should split off into a Break-up Reasons thread.
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:16 PM   #69
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I know a guy who has a pig farm in western Kansas- he helps me out on the rare occasion I need it...
Ah yes, the famous Mr. Woo farm north of Hays....
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:16 PM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike in SW-MO

Turns out the BY rolled over on her and told the whole story. Must have had second thoughts about sleeping with a woman that would do something like that.

Probably good thinking on his part. I know that I'd have a lot of trouble sleeping in that situation.
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:21 PM   #71
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
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Thankfully I've never had a psycho ex.
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:25 PM   #72
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I would like to tell my story, but the b!*$& killed me.
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:27 PM   #73
mike_b_284 mike_b_284 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simplex3
NOW whack her. Who gives a crap what you do with the body, the cops won't care and the locals will just be happy to have a shot at a white chick.
She won't be able to come home if I destroy her papers. She is a mexican national.
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:29 PM   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc
Thankfully I've never had a psycho ex.

It's hard to have a psycho ex if you don't have an ex.
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Old 01-17-2006, 01:30 PM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mike_b_284
She won't be able to come home if I destroy her papers. She is a mexican national.

There's your answer right there. Whack her in the desert outside Juarez, and even if they find her she'll just get added to the list.

Don't get caught, though, or they'll frame you for the other 500 bodies they've found out there.
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