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Old 01-17-2006, 10:49 AM  
mike_b_284 mike_b_284 is offline
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Psycho ex-stories

I just broke up with my girlfriend this weekend and she isn't taking very well. And by well I mean with a shred of effing sanity. Some crazy **** has been going down. I think she might start stalking me. She came by to get the last of her stuff from my apartment. I went to my room to check to make sure she had everything, when I came out her and my mp3 player were gone. I went to ask for it back and she kept denying it. I wrote it off and left, happy never to talk to her again. I went and played video games at my friend's for a couple hours, then went to quiktrip for some food. While I am eating my hot dog in the parking lot, I look over and there she is. Keep in mind this is twenty minutes from where I live and from where she lives. This means she was driving around for at least forty minutes looking for me. She gets in my car and starts sobbing, telling me she can't sleep and all she can do is cry. I ask for my stuff back and she says no. I tell her to get out of my car and she says no. Finally a cop walks up and asks if everything is okay, before I can tell him to remove the bitch from my car she gets out. She called well over 20 times since then and I am starting to get a little nervous.

How about your craziest ex's? rep to the worst
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:12 AM   #16
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Do you have any nude pictures and a phone number? I like freaky chicks.

Most of my psycho ex stories are actually detailed somewhere in the archives of this board. My psycho ex can beat up anybody's psycho ex. I'd wager anything on that.
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:14 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewChief
This girl wasn't even an ex, but she was crazy:

While backpacking in Greece and camping on a beach on the isle of Crete (wow, this is already sounding J. Peterman-esque), my tent blew through a barbed wire fence. Long story short, I ended up meeting some German fraulein who took pity on me and let me stay in her pension with her. We stayed together for a couple of days, had some good times, then it was time for me to move to another locale. Of course we exchanged addresses.

Anyway, she starts writing me letters, and I occassionally wrote back. But her letters started pouring in at the rate of 3-4 a week and they averaged between 4-5 pages each. I started to get freaked out, and I stopped writing her. The letters kept pouring in, with an occassional reference to her wanting to come to the United States.

Then it happened. I was coming home from a class, and the chick is waiting on my front porch. She'd flown to Arkansas from Germany and found me. Not only that, but she had no transportation, no lodging, and was staying for a month. Sooo, she moved in for a very awkward month. Luckily, one of my friend's sisters who had little to do at the time took mercy on us both and took her to St. Louis and some other places.

I actually felt really bad, because I was to blame for a lot of the mess, but I never, ever thought that she'd actually fly from Germany to Arkansas without even really telling me.

So what did you do with the body?
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:16 AM   #18
chagrin chagrin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EBOLA
dude, you got nothing on one of my exes--don't feel like going into the gory detail, but that b*tch was ****ed up

-EB-
"If you make people bleed from their ears and anus...you might possibly be, the...Ebola virus"

"If you walk into a room and poeple scream, ahh! It's the Ebola virus! Then you could be identified as the Ebola virus"

"If you find yourself getting mad because aids gets more publicity than you, you just might be the Ebola virus."
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:17 AM   #19
siberian khatru siberian khatru is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man
So what did you do with the body?
He's lucky he lives in Arkansas. There's LOTS of places to dispose of bodies there. Woods, rivers, old refrigerators, trunks of old cars up on cinder blocks ...
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:18 AM   #20
chagrin chagrin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewChief
This girl wasn't even an ex, but she was crazy:

While backpacking in Greece and camping on a beach on the isle of Crete (wow, this is already sounding J. Peterman-esque)
At the very least it sounds like bullshit

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Old 01-17-2006, 11:18 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by siberian khatru
The more I think about it, the more I'm intrigued by chagrin's "cook her and feed her to your friends" idea. That has possibilities.

You'd have to do some kind of stew or soup recipe, though, because if you just cooked her whole like a turkey, it'd probably arouse suspicion.
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:18 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NewChief
I actually felt really bad, because I was to blame for a lot of the mess, but I never, ever thought that she'd actually fly from Germany to Arkansas without even really telling me.
That's an awesome story. I had a girl I met the night I left for bootcamp - she was enroute to the airforce and I to the Marines. I looked her up when I got back and we hung out a little. After I arrived at Quantico she started with all this "I Love You" and I'm moving there to be with you stuff. I never even hit that. Heh heh. Scary girls.

Shortly after High School I broke up with Krystal to be with my high school sweetheart again. Krystal wasn't very happy about the whole thing so she proceeds to carve Tina's name into her arm with a knife. So, if you see a girl named Krystal walking around with a "Tina" scar on her arm you can ask her if she still takes it in the butt.
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:19 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man
You'd have to do some kind of stew or soup recipe, though, because if you just cooked her whole like a turkey, it'd probably arouse suspicion.
So you're saying the whole apple-in-the-mouth thing is a no-go?
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:21 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by siberian khatru
So you're saying the whole apple-in-the-mouth thing is a no-go?
Dude already said he was from Arkansas. Just go with the roadkill angle. Jeesh.
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:21 AM   #25
chagrin chagrin is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man
You'd have to do some kind of stew or soup recipe, though, because if you just cooked her whole like a turkey, it'd probably arouse suspicion.
dude, I could whip up a Gumbo with that chick that'll knock 'em dead...err umm, bad expression, eh?
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:24 AM   #26
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It just occurred to me in reading this thread. Is it possible that we're all the crazy ex's in our past relationships?
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:25 AM   #27
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She wasn't really an "ex" per-se, but a girl I used to know once posted about me on her blog. I didn't know she cared. This was like 2 years after the fact, too.
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:26 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gopeeking
She wasn't really an "ex" per-se, but a girl I used to know once posted about me on her blog. I didn't know she cared. This was like 2 years after the fact, too.
Who is the stalker in this situation?
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:27 AM   #29
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Man I always thought I had a decent stalker story, but NewChief has me dominated. Oh well, here's the story anyway:

This chick that was friends with one of my buddies' little sisters developed a little bit of a crush on me when we were in HS. (She's like 3 yrs younger than me). Anyway, it started with her going with my buddy's family to our HS basketball games to watch us play. Then it escalated into her coming by herself. Of course I got the mandatory 10-15 call-and-hang-up-when-I-answer's a week.

That in itself is a pretty lame story and I'm sure it happens all the time. But one night she dragged a friend of hers out to my parents house and started taking pictures of our house, my car, her doing weird shit (like cartwheels) in our yard... etc. I guess my mom watched her for a bit to try to figure out wtf was going on and then, this is the best part, ran her off and CHASED HER DOWN. I can't remember where she caught her at, but she put the fear of God into her about what would happen if she ever showed up again. I didn't hear a whole lot out of her after that.

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Old 01-17-2006, 11:28 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gopeeking
She wasn't really an "ex" per-se, but a girl I used to know once posted about me on her blog. I didn't know she cared. This was like 2 years after the fact, too.

Let me guess. She was eating a hot dog at QuikTrip, and she looked over and saw you?
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