Do you know how to pee into a urinal?

[Fat Elvis]

You may be doing it wrong.

Now you can learn the right way to take a wizz.

http://sc.news.yahoo.com/best-way-pe...111300267.html

The best way to pee into a urinal, according to science
By Chris Gayomali | The Week – Fri, Nov 8, 2013


You're probably doing it wrong.

Now that we know the best way to get a bartender's attention, let's turn our attention toward the inevitable restroom break that will soon follow.

The sad truth is that men's restrooms aren't the most sanitary places, largely because adult human males are not very good at urinating, as if the male brain briefly shuts down whenever hands and penises join together.

But fear not! There is hope. Tackling the dire problem of urinal splash-back, a team of fluid dynamics researchers from Brigham Young University — who call themselves the "whizz-kids" — set out to discover the absolute best spot for dudes to aim at when they're relieving themselves.

Now, perhaps you're the kind of guy who aims for the blue urinal cake at the bottom as if it were a Space Invader. Or maybe you take a step or two back to test your flow's strength. If you do either of these, I must kindly ask that you stop immediately. You're making a mess.

Both methods are prone to creating splash-back, which gets urine all over your shoes, and more embarrassingly, the front of your pants. Peepee pants are not a good look. Plus, you're leaving rude little puddles for the rest of us to awkwardly plant our feet around, depriving us of the basic dignity of a sturdy base. "We've all been in disgusting toilets with puddles on the floor," researcher Tadd Truscott told BBC News, "these places are a breeding ground for bacteria."

That splash is due to a fluid dynamics term called the Rayleigh Instability. Basically your stream loses power about 6 inches from the urethra, scattering your spray into messy droplets.

With a little effort, you can change. The physicists — using a nozzle and thankfully not the real thing to simulate how liquid flows from the male member — tested all sorts of peeing angles to figure out the safest way to urinate, and recorded the results on high-speed cameras. This, according to the study, is the optimal way to pee:

…men should stand as close to the urinal as possible they advise. Also helpful is directing the stream to hit the back of the urinal at a downward angle. That creates less splash-back and the drops that do bounce, head downwards into the urinal drain. Conversely, to prevent messing one's trousers (or angering neighbors) they suggest men not spray directly into the urinal or into the pool that forms at the bottom of the urinal, both cause a lot of splash-back. [PhysOrg]

SEE ALSO: Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and the Tea Party's 2016 problem

So. Stand real close, aim for the back at a slightly downward angle, and let things flow naturally down the porcelain like a Zen waterfall. The guy next in line will thank you.

Here is a helpful video demonstration, too:



(FWIW, I thought the "SEE ALSO" was hilarious.)

[Grim]

What's the proper form for pooping in a urinal?
I hate getting poop splashed back on me.

[NinerDoug]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Waste of money.

They should be doing a study on why I still have 2 or 3 drops.....no matter how many times I shake it.

Shake it more than three times and you're playing with it.

[Canofbier]

Ehh, I usually just go to the stalls when I can and sit down to piss, societal norms be damned. Assuming that some moronic asshole hasn't sprayed piss all over the seat, it's cleaner. It's also closer to the biologically intended "bathroom squat" than standing is, so far less risk of extra drippage.

[NinerDoug]

Originally Posted by Canofbier

Ehh, I usually just go to the stalls when I can and sit down to piss, societal norms be damned. Assuming that some moronic asshole hasn't sprayed piss all over the seat, it's cleaner. It's also closer to the biologically intended "bathroom squat" than standing is, so far less risk of extra drippage.

Pee-squatter, eh?

[NinerDoug]

Was at a stand up comedy club once and the comedian was talking about guys using hydraulics to wash away the shit stains in toilets. He said "there isn't a guy in this room who hasn't done that."

Anyone want to deny it?

[Donger]

Originally Posted by NinerDoug

Was at a stand up comedy club once and the comedian was talking about guys using hydraulics to wash away the shit stains in toilets. He said "there isn't a guy in this room who hasn't done that."

Anyone want to deny it?

Hydraulics?

[ping2000]

Originally Posted by Donger

The first goal should be to ACTUALLY GET THE URINE INTO THE URINAL. I don't think I've ever used a pubic restroom where the floor in front of the urinal isn't soaking wet with pee....

Men are ****ing disgusting.

Gross is guys wearing flip flops in the can at Arrowhead. Might as well just piss on your own feet.

[BlackHelicopters]

Originally Posted by NinerDoug

Was at a stand up comedy club once and the comedian was talking about guys using hydraulics to wash away the shit stains in toilets. He said "there isn't a guy in this room who hasn't done that."

Anyone want to deny it?

Hydraulics? I'll deny it.

[InChiefsHeaven]

What if you have wood? Huh? They don't cover THAT in this tutorial!

[loochy]

Originally Posted by Donger

Hydraulics?

[Fish]

Originally Posted by Pestilence

Waste of money.

They should be doing a study on why I still have 2 or 3 drops.....no matter how many times I shake it.

The key is tricking the penis. You have to grab your penis and start making the motion like you're tucking it back into your pants. Then at the last second before it's actually in your pants, whip it back out and take care of those last few drops.

[Katipan]

Originally Posted by Fish

The key is tricking the penis.

I would embroider that on a pillow.

[MikeMaslowski]

Originally Posted by allen_kcCard

In some country..can't remember where, their urinals have the image of a fly in the porcelain of the best place for pissers to hit. Guys will aim at this spot just like anything else that ends up in there and if they aim at it, it is the best position to piss cleanly.

At Army training in K-town Germany they had stickers of Osama and Saddam. Pretty funny.

[Molitoth]

Originally Posted by Fish

The key is tricking the penis. You have to grab your penis and start making the motion like you're tucking it back into your pants. Then at the last second before it's actually in your pants, whip it back out and take care of those last few drops.

[MahiMike]

I'll never forget when I was in Belgium, they had the pissers out in the hallway on the way TO the bathrooms. Not sure if the girls were selecting their dates that way or not.