Your best Story

[Iowanian]

Tell us your best story. Your best day, the wildest thing you've seen, an event in your life.

I'm looking for the story that defines your life, the one you'd tell your grandkids around a campfire, the one you and your old friends re-tell half a box of beer into a night.

Tell us about the time you saw your dad kill a bear with his case knife, the day you won the lottery, the turd that was born with your child, the day your grandpa took you fishing.....good, bad, ugly. Your best story.

The only rule, it has to be true to the best of your memory. Go.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Baby Lee

Rainman - if that was indeed your car, it's a Trabant and it's Russian in origin. Very interesting history. Pretty much anyone in the Soviet Bloc drove for decades. They're a keepsake of sorts in former East Germany now and were the first things across the bridge when East and West were reunited.

My car wasn't a Trabant. It was some native Indian car. I'm guessing that it was a Hindustan Ambassador, like this but in black:

[Iowanian]

In the early fall of 1979 or maybe 1980 a young, impressionable kidowanian and kid brother followed our grandpa and great uncle out to the barn yard. As was common during that time we did chores, fed chickens, and followed as he dumped buckets of ground corn into the bunks. To this day the smell of ground corn or coffee remind me of my grandpa.

This day something was different as they brought a tractor beyond the yard and instead of feeding the fat pig, one of them was herded nearby. I see uncle bob bring out my grandpas butcher gun. It was a single shot he had ordered from a Sears catalogue when he returned from WWII, complete with the tip broken off the trigger as it arrived. I watched him mark the x on the forehead with chalk and with a crack.....the beastie dropped onto the ground shivering. Grandpa told me to come as he had a task and I bolted to the nearby cornfield to fetch the cob he had requested. Being always inquisitive I asked the purpose, and as honest grandpas do, he answered as he inserted the cob into the south end of the pig and said something about plugging the anus so the meat wasn't fowled. They the pig was hoisted with the loader, gutted and hung to season.

I was somewhat traumatized.

Keep in mind the year is near 1980, Friday nights the most popular show is very influential on young boys. The Dukes of hazard ruled the airwaves....before young boys went to bed before the dirty show....Dallas. Came on.

The next morning sitting in a church pew I couldn't help but stair at my grandpa, still bewildered and wonder......why on earth would he do THAT to Enos.....

A couple of weeks before he died he called me indoors and gifted me the butcher rifle.....my most prized possession.

[KCTitus]

So, the fall of 1985, my father and one of my closest friends dad took us boys out to the 'country' for a weekend...we took guns and about a thousand rounds of ammo. We shot those guns until my dads .22 firing pin broke. It was a true father son camping weekend.

Our last night, sitting around the campfire, we listened to Game 6 of the 1985 World Series on my dads Station Wagon car radio. Listening to that fateful 'SAFE' call at first base that essentially won the game for KC, I will never forget.

[Iowanian]

I need to clarify for the story above that I saw a lot of butchering when I was a kid.. My grandparents had essentially a meat locker in thir garage. They raised butcher pigs and cattle, canned fish, and raised a couple hundred chickens and turkeys to eat each year. I was catching chickens at age 4 and dragging them to my grandma to behead, scald and pluck... Once when I was collecting eggs a rooster flew at me and scratched my face. When I got to the house she marched me back down to the chicken house, confirmed which rooster was the offender, twisted his head off and said I guess you will be nicer with noodles. I didn't back talk that sweet lady much.


No idea why the event twisted me up other than not understanding the anus- Enos difference.

[tooge]

I was 23 years old. I was at a bar having dinner and a beer or two getting ready to go to the Royals game. It was 1991. A friend of mine had gone to the bathroom and gotten into an argument with another guy at the bar. I hate going out to my jeep getting ready to go to the game to the Royals game. As I backed out of my parking spot somebody slammed into the rear of my jeep. I followed him up the frontage road flashing my lights to try to get him to pull over so we could exchange insurance cards. He eventually pulled over I got out of my car and grabbed a pen and paper. As I approached his car from the rear he pulled forward did a 180 and parked on the other side of the street. I grabbed a pen and paper and walked across the street towards his car. About halfway across the street he began chasing me in his car. He chased me for probably 45 seconds. When you are running for your life, you run out of energy fairly quickly. As I ran from his car, my toe caught the edge of the curb. I looked up and saw headlights about four or 5 feet away from me, I put my arm out and his bumper hit my hand, throwing me about 30 feet into the air. When I landed I was still conscious, albeit shut up. I looked up and saw his head lights right in front of my face. I covered up and he ran me over. His left front tire went over my left shoulder, rolling me over and then his left rear tire went over my lower back. A large chunk of my forearm ended up on his bumper. My friend who was sitting in the jeep watching all of this got his license plate number. While I was at the hospital the police apprehended him and arrested him. I spent two weeks in the hospital and almost died. I've had four shoulder surgeries cents, and that bastard only got 90 days in a mental facility

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by tooge

I was 23 years old. I was at a bar having dinner and a beer or two getting ready to go to the Royals game. It was 1991. A friend of mine had gone to the bathroom and gotten into an argument with another guy at the bar. I hate going out to my jeep getting ready to go to the game to the Royals game. As I backed out of my parking spot somebody slammed into the rear of my jeep. I followed him up the frontage road flashing my lights to try to get him to pull over so we could exchange insurance cards. He eventually pulled over I got out of my car and grabbed a pen and paper. As I approached his car from the rear he pulled forward did a 180 and parked on the other side of the street. I grabbed a pen and paper and walked across the street towards his car. About halfway across the street he began chasing me in his car. He chased me for probably 45 seconds. When you are running for your life, you run out of energy fairly quickly. As I ran from his car, my toe caught the edge of the curb. I looked up and saw headlights about four or 5 feet away from me, I put my arm out and his bumper hit my hand, throwing me about 30 feet into the air. When I landed I was still conscious, albeit shut up. I looked up and saw his head lights right in front of my face. I covered up and he ran me over. His left front tire went over my left shoulder, rolling me over and then his left rear tire went over my lower back. A large chunk of my forearm ended up on his bumper. My friend who was sitting in the jeep watching all of this got his license plate number. While I was at the hospital the police apprehended him and arrested him. I spent two weeks in the hospital and almost died. I've had four shoulder surgeries cents, and that bastard only got 90 days in a mental facility

I bet he was white, wasn't he?

[bevischief]

The night we destroyed a golf course and 5 or 6 golf carts. It had been raining for a few days so nice and wet.

[Pepe Silvia]

Originally Posted by Kman34

I went one summer to Osceola...Remember the swimming test? You didn't want to be the one in my troop who didn't pass..

I sure do. Red was for the good swimmers, blue was for the mediocre swimmers and yellow was for the shitty swimmers. luckily I was a good swimmer and had the red.

[loochy]

Originally Posted by tooge

I was 23 years old. I was at a bar having dinner and a beer or two getting ready to go to the Royals game. It was 1991. A friend of mine had gone to the bathroom and gotten into an argument with another guy at the bar. I hate going out to my jeep getting ready to go to the game to the Royals game. As I backed out of my parking spot somebody slammed into the rear of my jeep. I followed him up the frontage road flashing my lights to try to get him to pull over so we could exchange insurance cards. He eventually pulled over I got out of my car and grabbed a pen and paper. As I approached his car from the rear he pulled forward did a 180 and parked on the other side of the street. I grabbed a pen and paper and walked across the street towards his car. About halfway across the street he began chasing me in his car. He chased me for probably 45 seconds. When you are running for your life, you run out of energy fairly quickly. As I ran from his car, my toe caught the edge of the curb. I looked up and saw headlights about four or 5 feet away from me, I put my arm out and his bumper hit my hand, throwing me about 30 feet into the air. When I landed I was still conscious, albeit shut up. I looked up and saw his head lights right in front of my face. I covered up and he ran me over. His left front tire went over my left shoulder, rolling me over and then his left rear tire went over my lower back. A large chunk of my forearm ended up on his bumper. My friend who was sitting in the jeep watching all of this got his license plate number. While I was at the hospital the police apprehended him and arrested him. I spent two weeks in the hospital and almost died. I've had four shoulder surgeries cents, and that bastard only got 90 days in a mental facility

This explains your propensity for violence at little league games

[TinyEvel]

The year was 1999. A fellow Evel Knievel collecting buddy and I went to Vegas to meet Evel at one of Robbie’s jumps. We had some original Evel jump photos from the 1970’s we wanted to show him. We met Evel in the Tropicana lounge before the jump.
Hanging out with there was Matthew McCaugnahey, in his “Samuel Jackson” leather jacket and yellow wraparound shades. You could tell he was really working the actor thing. Apparently they were talking to the Mattster about playing Evel in a feature film.

Anyway, we watched the jump and drank/gambled the rest of the night. Around midnight I’m in the airport terminal at the Burger King. Who’s standing next to me, sucking on a Coors Light? Matt McCaughnahey. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, research.” He said, “What?” I repeated “Research, you’re gonna be the man, right?”
He looked like he was about to spit in my face when he looked down and saw I was holding out the vintage B/W photos of Evel. He took them and thumbed through the pics. “These are nice,” he said.
Then I asked him to autograph the envelope to my wife. He took a pen and scribbled on it and handed it back. That’s what it looked like: a scribble. A doctor’s prescription form is more legible. Anyway. I took my BK and went to the gate.
I sat next to my buddy and said “McCaughnahey’s a dick. We should beat his ass.”

Then who’s in the same gate? Yep. McMatt. Complete with his entourage: they looked like the guys from Friends and Party of Five put together.
So, next thing I know, McMatt sits down next to me, leans over and says, “So, my boys said they heard you say you want to beat McCaugnahy. Is that true?"
I was so drunk all I wanted to do is eat my BK and pass out. So I said, “No, it was this guy,” pointing over to my (6’2” 225lb auto mechanic) friend, I continued, “and he didn’t say he wants to beat McCaugnahey. He said he wants to BE McCaugnahey. He wants to BE you. You know, do some space thing, and some lawyer thing...” referring to some of his recent roles.
McMatt leaned over to my buddy and said. “Is that true? You said you want to BE me?”
My buddy replied (through a mouthful of burger), “I don’t know what the f—k you’re talking about. You should get your story straight. Besides, you’re a big fellow. A guy could get hurt messing with you.”
At that, McMatt looked at us both, gave a dismissive gesture and went back over to his band of butt-brothers.
Then he was on our SOUTHWEST flight back to L.A. Cheap-ass.

[eDave]

Originally Posted by TinyEvel

The year was 1999. A fellow Evel Knievel collecting buddy and I went to Vegas to meet Evel at one of Robbie’s jumps. We had some original Evel jump photos from the 1970’s we wanted to show him. We met Evel in the Tropicana lounge before the jump.
Hanging out with there was Matthew McCaugnahey, in his “Samuel Jackson” leather jacket and yellow wraparound shades. You could tell he was really working the actor thing. Apparently they were talking to the Mattster about playing Evel in a feature film.

Anyway, we watched the jump and drank/gambled the rest of the night. Around midnight I’m in the airport terminal at the Burger King. Who’s standing next to me, sucking on a Coors Light? Matt McCaughnahey. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, research.” He said, “What?” I repeated “Research, you’re gonna be the man, right?”
He looked like he was about to spit in my face when he looked down and saw I was holding out the vintage B/W photos of Evel. He took them and thumbed through the pics. “These are nice,” he said.
Then I asked him to autograph the envelope to my wife. He took a pen and scribbled on it and handed it back. That’s what it looked like: a scribble. A doctor’s prescription form is more legible. Anyway. I took my BK and went to the gate.
I sat next to my buddy and said “McCaughnahey’s a dick. We should beat his ass.”

Then who’s in the same gate? Yep. McMatt. Complete with his entourage: they looked like the guys from Friends and Party of Five put together.
So, next thing I know, McMatt sits down next to me, leans over and says, “So, my boys said they heard you say you want to beat McCaugnahy. Is that true?"
I was so drunk all I wanted to do is eat my BK and pass out. So I said, “No, it was this guy,” pointing over to my (6’2” 225lb auto mechanic) friend, I continued, “and he didn’t say he wants to beat McCaugnahey. He said he wants to BE McCaugnahey. He wants to BE you. You know, do some space thing, and some lawyer thing...” referring to some of his recent roles.
McMatt leaned over to my buddy and said. “Is that true? You said you want to BE me?”
My buddy replied (through a mouthful of burger), “I don’t know what the f—k you’re talking about. You should get your story straight. Besides, you’re a big fellow. A guy could get hurt messing with you.”
At that, McMatt looked at us both, gave a dismissive gesture and went back over to his band of butt-brothers.
Then he was on our SOUTHWEST flight back to L.A. Cheap-ass.

That's a good read. LOL. I like to think I'd say, "yeah man, you were kind of a dick"

And entourages are don't come cheap.

[Easy 6]

I once snuck an eighth of weed into the booking room of a jail, spent the weekend there, then walked out of that same room with the smoke Monday afternoon.

I once directly disobeyed the orders of the Ft. Wainwright Post Sergeant Major right to his face and got away with it... now I was respectful, but refused his repeated orders and got away with it on a company technicality.

Talked shit smartly enough to a Green Beret to not get my ass kicked.

Raised an honorably discharged Marine Engineer (hooah) AND a female rmy MP... extremely proud of the military legacy my Dad started.

Once confidence bluffed my way out of a real ass kicking by 3 dudes at a bar in Riverton Illinois... by the time I was done bullshitting they were scared of me, lol.

Conned a security guy in St. Louis into letting me and a pal stand in the aisle at the lowest level of risers at KISS' very first reunion tour... close enough to make eye contact with Ace and make him give us a thumbs up.

On their very first headlining tour for MOP, Cliff Burton seen me and a buddy getting high in the second, standing only row, dudes were damn near fighting us over it but Cliff would only give it up to us.

Went on a dope run with a buddies brother to east st. Louis, drama abounded but I held my own and kept things from getting out of hand. Just a kid acting bigger than he was, but that inner confidence I've always had really shined through for me.

High school football... was easily one of the best things to happen to an otherwise terrible team, if coach said neutralize him... I got him.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by bevischief

The night we destroyed a golf course and 5 or 6 golf carts. It had been raining for a few days so nice and wet.

These don't count. You have to actually tell the story, not read the movie trailer voiceover



TE's story in comparison jumped 10 flaming school buses. The perfect response would have been "alright alright alright"

[Joe Seahawk]

Mine just happened to me on july 04, 2014, just 5 months after the Seahawks won Superbowl XLVIII. I was at a popular lake a few hours out of Seattle with my wife to get away for the Holiday weekend, our plan was to meet up with our son who is a sophmore at WSU and a few of his buddies and take them out on my boat to go surfing and wakeboarding etc..

So as usual my kid is running late and not at the dock where i was supposed to pick him up, so my wife and i are just kind of idling around the south end of the lake where all the hotels and stuff are (just killing time waiting for the knuckleheads)

I noticed over on the deck plaza area of the Grandview are: Richard Sherman, Kam Chancellor, Brandon Browner and Walter Thurman hanging out, I pointed them out to my wife and we decided to not even mention it to my kid and his friends or they'll probably make a scene and emberass us.

So my kid and his friends show up at a nearby dock (Campbells resort) and hop on my boat, the first thing my kid says is he saw on twitter that richard Sherman was at lake Chelan. I said yep, right over there and pointed to them. So we are heading out and as we pass by the dock with the LOB my son and all his friends went ape shit and started screaming L-O-B and SEA-Hawks! etc.

Next thing i know Sherm motions for us to come over there! I pulled in near the deck they were on which was probably 6 feet or so above us and Sherm asks if we can give him a ride to the boat rental place across the lake. Obviously i said hell yes. Then things got scary, Sherm climbs over the handrail of the deck and begins to climb into my boat by stepping on the top of the tower and climbing in, this was terryfing to me as it was a fairly dangerous maneuver, one slip and he couldve wrecked a knee or something.

As he was climbing in he had one leg on the tower and the other still on the deck, my wife is hugging his leg trying to pull the boat back towards the dock. It was a real thrill for her..

So sherm is safely aboard my boat and I asked Kam if he wanted to come with. He said yes and i asked him to use the ladder and he can simply step on to my swim step to reduce the drama. My wife was probably disappointed in this. (sidenote a guy named "white boy Nick" also boarded with Kam)

So F'n Richard sherman and Kam Chancellor are in my boat! Unbelievable!

They were so cool shaking all the kids hands and letting us take selfies etc..

[lewdog]

Originally Posted by Joe Seahawk

Mine just happened to me on july 04, 2014, just 5 months after the Seahawks won Superbowl XLVIII. I was at a popular lake a few hours out of Seattle with my wife to get away for the Holiday weekend, our plan was to meet up with our son who is a sophmore at WSU and a few of his buddies and take them out on my boat to go surfing and wakeboarding etc..

So as usual my kid is running late and not at the dock where i was supposed to pick him up, so my wife and i are just kind of idling around the south end of the lake where all the hotels and stuff are (just killing time waiting for the knuckleheads)

I noticed over on the deck plaza area of the Grandview are: Richard Sherman, Kam Chancellor, Brandon Browner and Walter Thurman hanging out, I pointed them out to my wife and we decided to not even mention it to my kid and his friends or they'll probably make a scene and emberass us.

So my kid and his friends show up at a nearby dock (Campbells resort) and hop on my boat, the first thing my kid says is he saw on twitter that richard Sherman was at lake Chelan. I said yep, right over there and pointed to them. So we are heading out and as we pass by the dock with the LOB my son and all his friends went ape shit and started screaming L-O-B and SEA-Hawks! etc.

Next thing i know Sherm motions for us to come over there! I pulled in near the deck they were on which was probably 6 feet or so above us and Sherm asks if we can give him a ride to the boat rental place across the lake. Obviously i said hell yes. Then things got scary, Sherm climbs over the handrail of the deck and begins to climb into my boat by stepping on the top of the tower and climbing in, this was terryfing to me as it was a fairly dangerous maneuver, one slip and he couldve wrecked a knee or something.

As he was climbing in he had one leg on the tower and the other still on the deck, my wife is hugging his leg trying to pull the boat back towards the dock. It was a real thrill for her..

So sherm is safely aboard my boat and I asked Kam if he wanted to come with. He said yes and i asked him to use the ladder and he can simply step on to my swim step to reduce the drama. My wife was probably disappointed in this. (sidenote a guy named "white boy Nick" also boarded with Kam)

So F'n Richard sherman and Kam Chancellor are in my boat! Unbelievable!

They were so cool shaking all the kids hands and letting us take selfies etc..

Well at least once they got on your boat you had some real badasses on there instead of just being with a bunch of wankstas.