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Old 12-04-2018, 05:10 PM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Your rooting guide for Week 14

As with last week, tell me if I'm missing something, but here's our rooting guide in decreasing order of importance. The top four games are key, the next four games are bonus games, followed by five games that might possibly come into play if things fall right, and then three games where you can really just vote on your favorite jersey color or something.

The Key Games

Kansas City over Baltimore - If you don't already know this, I can't help you.

Miami over New England - We need the marine mammals to make amends for Christmas of 1971. Give us some breathing room, Mr. Shula. Or whoever you guys are now.

Cincinnati over Riverside Chargers - Gee whillikers, Phillip. Lose already. You know it's going to happen. You need the offseason to deliver those next babies.

Indianapolis over Houston - F*** the Colts, but we'll make an exception here. We need Andrew Luck to recover his own fumble here for a touchdown, and then have no punts and then score 30 in the second half while Houston misses three field goals in the ice. Trust me, these things can happen against the Colts.

The Bonus Games

Cleveland over Carolina - Tough one here. We don't want a disaster scenario to hit us if we lose the division to San Diego or wherever they are, but the odds of Cleveland somehow screwing us are quite low. Let's position an inexperienced Cleveland team for the #6 playoff spot and give them a lower draft spot.

Tennessee over Jacksonville - See Cleveland above. Same arguments. Get a weaker team into the playoffs for us to play.

Oakland over Pittsburgh - The Steelers are almost irrelevant to us now after they wilted to the Orange County Chargers, but we'll let them lose just to be safe and give the Raiders a lower draft spot. It'll make Gruden feel good about his plan to sign 35 year-old veterans.

San Francisco over Denver - You had me at Denver. Get them out of the playoff hunt. (One could make an argument that we want their final game against San Diego to be important, or otherwise I'd rate this a bit higher.)

The Just In Case Games

Chicago over former St. Louis Rams - Get the Rams out of the bye week since they'll get nine straight penalties against us in the Super Bowl. Plus, Peters, Talib, and Suh. I don't root for those guys.

Tampa Bay over New Orleans - We need to make the Saints' playoff road as hard as possible, so this will help kick them out of the bye week.

Dallas over Philadelphia - Let's keep a good QB out of the playoffs and get Dallas up to the bye week. It could still happen.

Washington over New York Giants - Let's keep a weak Redskins team in the playoff hunt, and Eli Manning didn't go to the team that drafted him.

Minnesota over Seattle - After a couple of posts of intense discussion, John DoNsey and I agree that Cousins is a fraud and we'd rather face him in a Super Bowl. But it's still kind of a tossup.

The Whatever Games

Atlanta over Green Bay - I really hate those flatulence-related insurance commercials with the Green Bay quarterback, and that's the difference maker here.

Buffalo over New York Jets - The only reason to pick Buffalo is to keep other young quarterbacks from diverting attention from Patrick Mahomes II. Otherwise, do what you want.

Arizona over Detroit - Insert a gif here that symbolizes indifference. Seriously, vote for whoever you want to vote for. Pick the team going left to right on your screen. I don't care.

Last edited by Rain Man; 12-09-2018 at 10:50 PM..
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:14 PM   #2
JohnDONsey JohnDONsey is offline
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Although, you’d rather play Seattle than Minny???? Really??? Idk, I think the seahawks are better and it’s really not close...
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:16 PM   #3
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:17 PM   #4
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Wait a minute......WE GET TO VOTE on these games???? That would have been helpful to know the past 30 years or so.
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:20 PM   #5
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:21 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by JohnDONsey View Post
Thank u

Although, youíd rather play Seattle than Minny???? Really??? Idk, I think the seahawks are better and itís really not close...
Well, I guess we've got a precedent of beating Minnesota in Super Bowls. I'll think about that one. Seattle has a better QB in my opinion, but Minnesota has a better team. I haven't followed them very closely, though, so I'm open to debate.
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:27 PM   #7
JohnDONsey JohnDONsey is offline
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Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
Well, I guess we've got a precedent of beating Minnesota in Super Bowls. I'll think about that one. Seattle has a better QB in my opinion, but Minnesota has a better team. I haven't followed them very closely, though, so I'm open to debate.
I mean, the Wilson v Cousins thing is pretty big for me. Cousins is a fraud, the NFc version of Andy Dalton. Wilson is legit. And Seattleís rushing game is impressive.
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Originally Posted by jjchieffan View Post
I WILL NOT take a break from CP at the beginning of the season. And the Earth is 6000 years old. Science is wrong.......again. I have read plenty of science books and they are WRONG. The Big Bullshit theory is in conflict with even science. Matter CANNOT come from non matter. You can't just have nothingness explode into worlds. Life CANNOT come from non life. That is science. The big bullshit theory is nothing but conjecture.
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:29 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by JohnDONsey View Post
I mean, the Wilson v Cousins thing is pretty big for me. Cousins is a fraud, the NFc version of Andy Dalton. Wilson is legit. And Seattle’s rushing game is impressive.
I will yield to your expertise and change my recommendation, though I'll retain the tossup language. I agree that quarterback is key and Cousins is a fraud.
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:29 PM   #9
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Are the chiefs the only team in the NFL to play a competitive schedule. Compare kc's schedule to any other team in playoff contention. It's not even close. It's really amazing that mahomes has gotten the chiefs a chance to lose in the first round of the playoffs. This schedule all year has been brutal.
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:30 PM   #10
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We'll take baltimore behind the woodshed and paint their ass red with a nice switch

Miami always has a shot against the pats in Miami, it could happen...

Cincy has NO shot on the road, backup QB, lame duck coach... call it a loss

Same for Indy, Houston will drag them into deep water at home
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:43 PM   #11
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Are the chiefs the only team in the NFL to play a competitive schedule. Compare kc's schedule to any other team in playoff contention. It's not even close. It's really amazing that mahomes has gotten the chiefs a chance to lose in the first round of the playoffs. This schedule all year has been brutal.
Dude. I literally have no ****ing idea what you are taking about. We play not only the Chargers, but Denver AND the Raiders twice this year. The other teams should be bitching up a storm.
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:49 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
I will yield to your expertise and change my recommendation, though I'll retain the tossup language. I agree that quarterback is key and Cousins is a fraud.
Iíll say right now that the game against Seattle kinda terrifies me

Tough place to play and they play a keep away game

Thatíll be a big test imo
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Originally Posted by jjchieffan View Post
I WILL NOT take a break from CP at the beginning of the season. And the Earth is 6000 years old. Science is wrong.......again. I have read plenty of science books and they are WRONG. The Big Bullshit theory is in conflict with even science. Matter CANNOT come from non matter. You can't just have nothingness explode into worlds. Life CANNOT come from non life. That is science. The big bullshit theory is nothing but conjecture.
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:51 PM   #13
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Dude. I literally have no ****ing idea what you are taking about. We play not only the Chargers, but Denver AND the Raiders twice this year. The other teams should be bitching up a storm.
The bolts have a chance to win the division and the donks will probably be the six seed.
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:52 PM   #14
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The bolts have a chance to win the division and the donks will probably be the six seed.
And we will have beat them all Sammy small
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Old 12-04-2018, 05:57 PM   #15
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Dude. I literally have no ****ing idea what you are taking about. We play not only the Chargers, but Denver AND the Raiders twice this year. The other teams should be bitching up a storm.
That Patriots play the Jets twice and the Bills twice. Every year. I'd usually throw the Dolphins in there too, but for the next week the Dolphins are an invincible powerhouse.
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