Women: Lean In and Poop at the Office, Already

[siberian khatru]

http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/04/lean...e-already.html

Lean In and Poop at the Office, Already
BY MAUREEN O'CONNOR


Public restrooms induce a certain low-level anxiety in users. There are etiquettes to observe; puddles to dodge; sounds to ignore; dilemmas surrounding flushing. But the anxieties of the public restroom need not induce shame, because they are also universal. We are all at the mercy of public restrooms — supermodels, world leaders, regular gals. Shared toilets are equalizers. Sit or squat, we do it in solidarity.

Nonetheless, the Daily Beast's Laura Dimon (daughter of Jamie) reports that "the last office taboo for women" is "doing your business at work." Really?

[W]omen report going to different floors, or walking roundabout routes from their desk to the bathroom. And some say they’ve experienced the “standoff,” when two or more women are in the bathroom, but all decline to do their business until the others leave — instead waiting awkwardly, in silence, writhing in emotional and physical discomfort, until someone surrenders.

These anxieties are not exclusive to females. In seminal guide "How to Poop at Work," Brian Moylan, a man, also describes the "unspoken shitting toilet" phenomenon. Still, women are widely believed to experience greater pooping anxiety than men. Dimon continues with the sad story of one such woman:

Jill, 28, a Vancouver native now working at an insurance company in New York City, said that if she absolutely can’t avoid the act entirely, she lifts her feet off the ground and props them up against the side of the stall to avoid the “chance that the person next to me would recognize my shoes and forever hold in their heads that I was the girl” defecating in the ladies’ room.

How is that even possible? Wouldn't the angle and leverage be all wrong? I'm picturing Jill pooping like a ping-pong show. Her effort is unnecessary: Nobody peeks under the edge of a stall to identify a pooping woman by her shoes. Nobody. (Several Cut staffers note actively avoiding identifying details in that context.) If anything, Jill's actions are counterproductive: If I had reason to believe a woman was pooping in a contorted pretzel position like Jill's, I would stick around to ask for yoga tips. But back to Dimon:

The office environment takes this anxiety and kicks it up a notch. “The workplace still remains men’s space. Women may be more hypervigilant of not breaking rules of gender by monitoring their femininity even more,” [sociologist Samantha] Kwan says. Harvard anthropologist Kimberly Theidon agrees. “Office space is already pre-determined as a masculine space and women enter it,” she says, adding that there is a “long history of women trying to manage their bodies in their workplace,” and a struggle to not be identified with or associated solely with their bodies.

This logic doesn't make a lot of sense, because the workplace that requires a woman to poop right in front of a man is pretty rare. (Ally McBeal's co-ed bathroom notwithstanding.) But since Dimon managed to find a few neurotic females terrified to the point of contortion at the prospect of pooping at work, let's make sure we make this really clear: It is okay to poop at work. Nobody is judging you. Nobody cares. Nobody gives a shit about your shits — we're too busy shitting in our own stalls.

Go poop in your office bathrooms, everyone. It's what our feminist foremothers would have wanted. Every woman deserves a poop of her own.

(more poop links at the original)

[Beef Supreme]

When I was about 13 years old I went on a hiking trip to Philmont Scout Ranch. After 10 days of hiking in the mountains we returned to the base camp. I walked into a stall to do my business and there was a turd sitting in the bowl that was as big as my forearm from elbow to wrist. I was an athletic 155 lbs at the time, not some scrawny kid. This thing would not flush, and I was actually compelled to go bring others in to take a look at it.

Not exactly on topic, but I just had to share.

[Iowanian]

I once wrote an ode to lady dumps

Originally Posted by Iowanian

She placed some calls to Guiness
To see what the feat was worth..
While she hadn't measured the cable yet
She assumed it had a record Girth.

A lady doesn't crap and tell
but sometimes she just must
She birthed a brown so big around,
she thought her pelvis would bust.

She has an horseman there to verify,
the cable when it lands
He tipped his hat and said
"by gawd, I think your brown is 19 hands".

Ripley sent the cameras
Guiness sent the measure tape,
Her landlord brought a shovel
For the skidmarks left to scrape.

She feels her face a flushing
as every one who takes a peek...
laughs at her new fortune
that with Ripleys now she seeks

So get a ticket to stand in line
To get yourself a look...
Or look for the record cable
In this years' Guiness book.

[ChiefaRoo]

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[Dayze]

There Once was a Woman from Nantucket,
and she shit like a horse.


I'm not very good at poems or limericks.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Originally Posted by theelusivedeucedrop

Humbled and honored. Do I send a thank you note or what?

Just break the cycle and drop that deuce. At work.

[Iowanian]

Let me try to help

There once was a woman from nantucket
and she shit like a horse
with no effort she filled up a bucket
stunk out the office without remorse

[ChiefGator]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Let me try to help

There once was a woman from nantucket
and she shit like a horse
with no effort she filled up a bucket
stunk out the office without remorse

You are a modern day Longsworth...

[bevischief]

.

[bevischief]

..

[tooge]

Originally Posted by Chiefs Pantalones

Most disgusting post of the year goes to luv.

Yeah, thanks a lot Luv. Here I am, 46 years old, married, and a father of two, and I now find out that women poop? It's like finding out about Santa all over again.

[luv]

Originally Posted by Chiefs Pantalones

Most disgusting post of the year goes to luv.

Oh please. I've seen you guys talk about the same stuff.

[luv]

Originally Posted by tooge

Yeah, thanks a lot Luv. Here I am, 46 years old, married, and a father of two, and I now find out that women poop? It's like finding out about Santa all over again.

[frankotank]

"Still, women are widely believed to experience greater pooping anxiety than men."

DUH! men don't give a shit! (pun intended)
if ya gotta poop...ya gotta poop.
my office has the mens and womens restrooms directly next to cubicles! I mean, like, there's a cubicle with an employee working in it about 8 feet from the door of each restroom. now me personally....if I'm in a stall and someones leaving, I'll wait until the door closes to engage in audible dookage. but some dudes...I swear they must wait for that door to open and PLLLLLLLLLL (is that how you spell a fart/poop noise?) I mean sometimes it's so damn bad. and you KNOW those people sitting right outside the door gotta be like.....DAAAAAYYYUMMM!

[WV]

Originally Posted by Phobia

I'll poop in front of anybody. Don't care. It's the wiping that gets to me. I can't do that in front of anybody.

Precisely!

[listopencil]

Originally Posted by theelusivedeucedrop

New mission: poop weighing

I got 1.3 pounds this morning. I just bought a new digital scale.