GF of 3 years left me yesterday....

[Pushead2]

She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore.....

I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window.

I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?

[JD10367]

When it comes to "power and weakness", I agree that there can't be any on either side or the other person will just think less of you and take advantage of you. When I was young, my first g/f tried to break up with me and I pussied out to the point of almost grabbing her ankles and sobbing to keep her from doing it. She reluctantly took it back... and, obviously, the relationship went right in the toilet.

I'll leave you with a quote from a great modern philosopher:

"Cameron has never been in love. At least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work."

[Brock]

Originally Posted by Comanche

You do recognize there is a difference between "chasing" and "being real"? This guy hasn't even told his GF that HE INTENDS TO ASK HER TO MARRY HIM! Either he is BSing us, her or himself in that regard.

Nor should he, since she pulled the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" card. Translate that from woman bullshit and you have "I'm screwing around on you or at least thinking about it".

[tooge]

First off, I'm shocked that nobody has offered the most apropriate immediate response, and that is to go meet some floozy at a bar, take her home, and bang the absolute shit out of her. After this, forget about "whats her face", and if it is meant to be she will call you. It's like when your dog dies, you really need to get a new dog pretty quickly. Actually, it's not like that at all, cuz you dont **** your dog, but you get the point.

[DaKCMan AP]

Don't take advice from someone who thinks it's spelled advise.

[Sully]

Originally Posted by Comanche

. . .and you also can't respect somebody who is so FAKE as to say that he intends to ask a girl to marry him later in the year but doesn't tell her that now when there is a danger of losing her.

If she's not in love with him, he's already lost her.


Sent from my Rotary phone using Tapatalk

[gblowfish]

Dear Pushead:
Take her to dinner at an expensive restaurant. Order the most expensive thing on the menu. When the bill comes, act like you lost your wallet. Make her pay. Stop on the way home, make her buy a bottle of really good champagne. Go back to her place. Get her drunk then proceed to do every nasty, kinky, perverted sexual act you can think of to her. When she falls asleep from sexual exhaustion, steal $50 out of her purse. Go into the kitchen, take a dump in the fridge crisper bin. Leave and never call her again.

She'll either think you're a wild man and want more, or want to "fix your flaws" because you are now a challenge. If she doesn't respond within two weeks, grudge-fuck her best girlfriend.

Sincerely,
Every Un-Married Guy on the CP
Who Offers Relationship Advice

[JD10367]

Originally Posted by Comanche

. . .and you also can't respect somebody who is so FAKE as to say that he intends to ask a girl to marry him later in the year but doesn't tell her that now when there is a danger of losing her.

I don't get the "waiting" thing. If you make the decision to propose to someone, then buy the ring and do it ASAP. I was going to wait two months, only because I'd wanted to do it on our vacation. I was going to do it on top of Millennium Force in Cedar Point, but then realized that whipping out a diamond while going 90 MPH was probably a bad idea. So I did it earlier than that, simply proposing to her while she and I were spending a lazy early-summer day in her parents' swimming pool. (I also don't get the public-proposal stuff. I always think, "She was probably just guilted into saying yes," LOL.)

[DeezNutz]

Her: "I'm not sure if I love you."

Him: "Will you marry me?"

Her: "Yes! Absolutely! I've completely changed my mind!"

Yeah, this isn't a ****ing recipe for disaster. The euphoria and thrill of moving to the "next step" will last forever and ever.

Doesn't seem like it now, but consider yourself very lucky.

[FAX]

Originally Posted by Comanche

You do recognize there is a difference between "chasing" and "being real"? This guy apparently hasn't even told his GF that HE INTENDS TO ASK HER TO MARRY HIM! Either he is BSing us, her or himself in that regard.

I admire your fire and passion, Mr. Comanche. It reminds me of Grandma FAX and that time she chopped off a finger whilst rendering a chicken for soup.

We may disagree on this subject, and that's okay. However, before you become inexorably fixed in your views, let me suggest that you read any woman's magazine on the planet. Girls thrive on relational dynamics ... hell, it's practically all they think about. They know when a guy is "worth it" or not and, when they decide they want a man, they will swim the Pacific Ocean bound in 50 feet of logging chain for the guy. When a guy "chases" a girl, it communicates "neediness" and girls don't want a guy who "needs". They want a guy who "gets".

That's why I initiate a meaningless argument with the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX at least twice a month then storm out of the house swearing to God and all the Saints that I'll never return and the next time I see her one of us will be in a box. That way, she realizes that I have my sh*t together.

FAX

[Pioli Zombie]

I masturbate. This way I get to have sex with any woman in the world I want. Celebrity, coworker, 3rd cousin. Its a sure thing. And I can have it any way I want to and role play and everything. And afterwards I don't have to pay for it with the talking and complaining and nagging. And then I can watch football all I want. Wear what I want. Eat what I want. Its really working out a whole lot better than the 2 wives, 2 fiancees, and 100 or so nutbags I've dated. If all else fails and I really need the real thing I just drop a couple of hundred on a nice hooker I met on the backpage. She's hotter and nicer to me than all the others combined.

[Bearcat2005]

Sorry bro. I was in a similar situation at the end of my undergrad, except I was lacking time for her. I loved her and all but she was upset with my inability to spend time with her as often as we both would like. We seperated and honestly looking back Im happy. I grew more as a person and changed (for the better I hope). I ended up finding a new girl I could make new connections with, and this girl will be my wife now in July. I think at younger ages (especially 18-22) we change so quickly and discover more about ourselves then we can even imagine. This all changes our idea of what we are looking for and our concept of a relationship. Give it time, the answers will come pal.

[JD10367]

Originally Posted by DeezNutz

Her: "I'm not sure if I love you."

Him: "Will you marry me?"

Her: "Yes! Absolutely! I've completely changed my mind!"

Yeah, this isn't a ****ing recipe for disaster. The euphoria and thrill of moving to the "next step" will last forever and ever.

Doesn't seem like it now, but consider yourself very lucky.

I see your point, but it could be a little more complex. Maybe the man wasn't committing enough for her liking, so she started to pull away thinking he clearly wasn't "in love" with her enough to want to propose. Maybe the act of proposing makes the woman realize how much she values him and wants him in her life. I dunno. I do agree that, in this situation, any further discussion of continuing the relationship or deepening it into marriage should be prefaced with, "if you truly believe it in your heart... don't just ****ing say yes because you think it's what I want to hear, because you'll end up resenting me and just divorcing me anyway".

[Brock]

Originally Posted by Comanche

Women don't really mean that "I love you but I'm not IN LOVE with you" crap. As stated elsewhere, that statement has nothing to do with "love" in reality. It has everything to do with her hidden agenda.

Why would anyone want anything to do with someone who has a "hidden agenda"?

[JD10367]

Originally Posted by Comanche

Women don't really mean that "I love you but I'm not IN LOVE with you" crap. As stated elsewhere, that statement has nothing to do with "love" in reality. It has everything to do with her hidden agenda.

I think it was Wanda Sykes who said something like, if honest, it would be, "I'm tired of ****ing you. I would like to **** someone else. I suggest you go do the same."

[Brock]

Originally Posted by Comanche

Ok, finish the "woman bullshit sentence." We all know the complete "woman bullshit sentence" reads, "I'm screwing around on you or at least thinking about it BECAUSE YOU WON'T COMMIT!"

So why not say that?