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View Poll Results: Who wins?
Ebolapox 45 75.00%
Austinchief 15 25.00%
Voters: 60. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-05-2018, 09:25 AM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 13 - Ebolapox versus Austinchief

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - Aboard a Boeing 787 Dreamliner (no passengers)
Starting Distance - 140 feet

Ebolapox

Main Weapon - Sonic ear pain generator (you have earplugs)
Backup Weapon - Thick glass bottle

Prep Time - 13 Minutes
Special Factors - None

Austinchief

Main Weapon - Derringer (one shot, 9 mm caliber)
Backup Weapon - Baseball Bat

Prep Time - 2 Minutes
Special Factors - Patrick Mahomes II will launch a lawn dart at you with great force from 50 feet away every 60 seconds, with the first launch at t=0. You cannot attack Patrick Mahomes II in any way because he is the Chiefs' franchise quarterback.
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Old 07-05-2018, 09:27 AM   #2
Hangin'WithMahomes Hangin'WithMahomes is offline
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Ear pain generator and then beat him to death with the bottle would be enough, but the Mahomes lawn darts may make this one nearly unanimous in favor of Ebolapox.

RIP Austinchief
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Old 07-05-2018, 09:35 AM   #3
Graystoke Graystoke is offline
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There is no way I am voting against Mahomes.

Ebolapox wins this match
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Old 07-05-2018, 10:08 AM   #4
Pestilence Pestilence is offline
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Ear pain generator and let Mahomes do the work. Austinchief has one shot to make count and I don't see it happening.
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Old 07-05-2018, 10:33 AM   #5
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I came into this thread to vote for Austin no matter what. But I can’t rationalize any possible way that Mahomes doesn’t impale him with a lawn dart.
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Old 07-05-2018, 10:43 AM   #6
TLO TLO is online now
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How severe would the ear pain be from such a device?
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Old 07-05-2018, 10:46 AM   #7
Hangin'WithMahomes Hangin'WithMahomes is offline
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Originally Posted by Pestilence View Post
Austinchief has one shot to make count and I don't see it happening.
45 yards with a derringer??? No chance in hell.
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Old 07-05-2018, 11:05 AM   #8
Valiant Valiant is offline
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Austin wins.

Pat is non factor. In an airplane, can only throw down aisles and at 50 feet easily avoided.


As for the Sonic, loud decibels will only hinder and annoy. If it created Sonic books then ear plugs wouldn't help either party.

Austin has a gun and a bat for close range combat. He can either stay back and let him come to him. Or Dodge Pat's darts and execute up close.
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Old 07-05-2018, 11:07 AM   #9
Why Not? Why Not? is offline
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Never underestimate the debilitating effect of immediate and chronic ear pain. Austin stumbles into the aisle where he feels the pain of many a Broncos secondary in the years to come as PMII finishes him off
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Old 07-05-2018, 11:10 AM   #10
Ebolapox Ebolapox is offline
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I came here to complain at first about being seeded against our personal Lamar hunt but... can’t complain. This was a freebie, who’s voting against mahomes? My weapons and scenario/setting make this a hard win for Kyle
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Old 07-05-2018, 11:39 AM   #11
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You cannot attack Patrick Mahomes II in any way because he is the Chiefs' franchise quarterback.
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Old 07-05-2018, 12:14 PM   #12
KCtotheSB KCtotheSB is offline
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Is the airplane in flight?
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Old 07-05-2018, 12:15 PM   #13
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If the 787 is airborne and pressurized they all die if a gun goes off and pierces the cabin.
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Old 07-05-2018, 12:49 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KCtotheSB View Post
Is the airplane in flight?
Quote:
Originally Posted by srvy View Post
If the 787 is airborne and pressurized they all die if a gun goes off and pierces the cabin.
You may assume that the aircraft is in flight.
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Old 07-05-2018, 02:15 PM   #15
Detoxing Detoxing is offline
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This one ends rather quickly and dramatically.

Whistle blows and Ebola instantly uses his sonic ear destroyer, jolting Austin and dropping him to his knees in debilitating pain. Mahomes puts a lawn dart right through his chest.

As Ebola approaches Austin to finish him off with the bottle, Austin gets his 2nd wind and fires one round at Ebola, grazing his arm and nearly hitting Mahomes. In a blind rage caused by Austin's recklessness towards our franchise QB, Ebolas beats Austin's skull in until all that remains is a bloody pool of skull fragments and brains.
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