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Old 01-15-2013, 05:13 PM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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This Week's Important Florida News!

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.
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Old 10-05-2016, 03:49 PM   #616
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The incoming hurricane will be the most normal thing to happen in Florida.
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Old 10-05-2016, 06:10 PM   #617
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Nothing like a good hair pulling brawl at the Chuck E Cheese!
As an adult, taking your kids to Chuck E Cheese is enough to make you want to punch someone. Place is disgusting.
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Old 10-05-2016, 06:25 PM   #618
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DRUGS ARE BAD!
Bath salts have returned home!!
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Old 10-05-2016, 06:26 PM   #619
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My county just went under a hurricane warning an hour ago. Can't get ****ing water anywhere. Gas stations are outta gas. Thankfully my tanks filled and I always have bottled water
Are you GTFO, or hunkering down?
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Old 10-05-2016, 07:08 PM   #620
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Are you GTFO, or hunkering down?
**** at this point it's too late. I got a mandatory evacuation but just went over the bridge to stay with friends. I leave now I'm gonna get stuck on the interstate in a Cat 4 hell naw. Gonna get drunk and hope I don't die
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Old 10-05-2016, 10:18 PM   #621
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**** at this point it's too late. I got a mandatory evacuation but just went over the bridge to stay with friends. I leave now I'm gonna get stuck on the interstate in a Cat 4 hell naw. Gonna get drunk and hope I don't die
Good luck - stay safe man.
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Old 10-05-2016, 10:23 PM   #622
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**** at this point it's too late. I got a mandatory evacuation but just went over the bridge to stay with friends. I leave now I'm gonna get stuck on the interstate in a Cat 4 hell naw. Gonna get drunk and hope I don't die
Hang tough and take water...

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Old 10-17-2016, 12:43 PM   #623
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Showing that the CP is always way ahead of the curve, Rolling Stone published it's ten most favorite Florida Crime Stories from 2016. You can see them here:
http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/...burger-w443445
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Old 10-19-2016, 01:48 PM   #624
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miaminewtimes.com/news/half-headed-man-arrested-again-for-attempted-murder-arson-8858814

On Monday, Half Head was arrested for two felony counts of attempted murder and one count of first-degree arson, according to the Miami-Dade Department of Corrections.

Half Head first came to New Times' attention in November 2010, when we published his mug shot after he'd been arrested for soliciting a prostitute. In a Miami Police arrest report, his distinguishing characteristics included having "half a head."

This then catapulted Half Head to a brief period of worldwide infamy, and people flooded New Times' inboxes with angry letters claiming we had faked the mug shot.

But, as it turns out, Rodriguez maintained a small channel on YouTube, where he explains what happened to him.

"I was barred-out on drugs," he says in one clip. "And I was driving. And I hit a pole, flew out the front window, and landed on my head."

Since then, it appears Half Head hasn't been able to stop himself from breaking the law. In 2010, we wrote that he'd been arrested "quite a lot" for a bevy of alleged crimes, including disorderly intoxication, soliciting a prostitute, possession of weed, and burglary. He seems to have a propensity for violence: In 2014, he was arrested on battery charges. But still, given his physical situation, it's pretty tough to feel anything but bad for the guy.

He's apparently still really into weed. Here he is smoking a blunt alongside a river and declaring himself a "burnout."

This week, Rodriguez was arrested again on felony charges. It's not clear exactly what happened, because police didn't immediately respond to requests for an incident report.

He's being held on $30,000 bond, but, thankfully, he's already been transferred from jail to Mercy Hospital.

Update: According to an arrest report, Half Head was found attempting to light his mattress on fire around 2:30 yesterday. He lived in a duplex.

"I wanted to burn down my house so I could build a new, two-story house, and I don't care if there was people in the other side of the house because it wasn't going to reach them," he allegedly told police.

But two people were living in the other apartment at the time, which means Half Head has been charged with attempted murder. Police say they arrived to find a burn on the right side of the mattress, and said that no other sources of heat could have accidentally started the blaze.

"The fire was set within an occupied dwelling, posing an immediate threat to the lives and safety of the occupants," police wrote.

miaminewtimes.com/news/half-headed-man-arrested-again-for-attempted-murder-arson-8858814
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Old 10-19-2016, 01:53 PM   #625
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jeeze, i just googled half head...
you could use the top of his dome as a soup bowl.
sec
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Old 10-19-2016, 01:57 PM   #626
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jeeze, i just googled half head...
you could use the top of his dome as a soup bowl.
sec
Bob Dole knows a woman who had a similar issue after a motorcycle accident. It has since been repaired, but it was fairly disturbing.
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Old 10-29-2016, 12:31 PM   #627
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ORLANDO, Fla. (WESH) - Police in Florida are searching for a man who was allegedly leaving a strip club when he fell out of his truck and ran over his own legs.

Investigators say the man was pulling out of the parking lot when the incident happened around 2:15 a.m. Tuesday.

See surveillance video here
Police say the truck continued across a highway and crashed into a duplex, according to NBC affiliate WESH 2 News.

One man told WESH that his mom was sleeping when impact of the crash knocked her to the ground. She has minor injuries to her neck.

According to the Florida Highway Patrol, the suspect left his ID at the strip club. He's a 28-year-old man from Casselberry, Florida and left the scene with friends.
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Old 01-26-2017, 06:17 AM   #628
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http://fox13news.com/news/local-news/231755516-story

Gross but funny
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Old 01-26-2017, 06:29 AM   #629
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Wow... People!

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Old 01-26-2017, 10:33 AM   #630
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Now THAT would be a feminine hygiene commercial.....
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