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Old 11-21-2014, 09:10 PM  
TLO TLO is offline
Life is changing..
 
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I'm ****ing depressed. No really.
Major depressive disorder is what my daignosis sheet says. Along with OCD.

Someone cheer me up.
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Old 11-22-2014, 12:48 PM   #61
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
I went to watch football with the bros

and I've been seeing this other chick

but she's sisters with my ex girlfriend (lololololol)

and she's all like "this is inappropriate it has to stop"

so I texted the other girl who is grossly obsessed with me (don't ask why) so naturally, I hate her

and I was like

fine, come over

and as we were hooking up

I kid you not

she shit on me

have
not
talked
since

I was very nice and mature during the cleanup phase

she kept asking "do you want me to leave?"

Well **** yeah I want you to leave.

But I kept saying no.

Most mature thing I've ever done.
OMFG. What? You plug her in the ass and she was no longer the master of her bowels? Holy shit...
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Quote:
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Fair and balanced. A mod people can be proud of.
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Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.Mr. Flopnuts is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-22-2014, 12:50 PM   #62
Hootie Hootie is offline
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No. Not at all. I'm 29 years old and have had sex X amount of times and literally have never even had a girl fart during sex.

She was on top of me ... kinda stopped ... and was like, "did you fart?"

She said that to me.

And I was like, "no? wtf?"

and then she was like I have to pee

Got up. I was like ....uh....

so I sat up, and was like "uhhhhhhh."

turned the light on

shit all over

it was THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE
Posts: 56,356
Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 11-22-2014, 12:51 PM   #63
Hootie Hootie is offline
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needless to say that contact no longer exists in my phone
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Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 11-22-2014, 12:57 PM   #64
eDave eDave is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
No. Not at all. I'm 29 years old and have had sex X amount of times and literally have never even had a girl fart during sex.

She was on top of me ... kinda stopped ... and was like, "did you fart?"

She said that to me.

And I was like, "no? wtf?"

and then she was like I have to pee

Got up. I was like ....uh....

so I sat up, and was like "uhhhhhhh."

turned the light on

shit all over

it was THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE
Oh dude. I can't stop laughing. Blows my worst hookup story by miles.
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:00 PM   #65
Don Corlemahomes Don Corlemahomes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
No. Not at all. I'm 29 years old and have had sex X amount of times and literally have never even had a girl fart during sex.

She was on top of me ... kinda stopped ... and was like, "did you fart?"

She said that to me.

And I was like, "no? wtf?"

and then she was like I have to pee

Got up. I was like ....uh....

so I sat up, and was like "uhhhhhhh."

turned the light on

shit all over

it was THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE
HOLY SHIT THIS IS ****ING HILARIOUS
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Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.Don Corlemahomes is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:01 PM   #66
MTG#10 MTG#10 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
No. Not at all. I'm 29 years old and have had sex X amount of times and literally have never even had a girl fart during sex.

She was on top of me ... kinda stopped ... and was like, "did you fart?"

She said that to me.

And I was like, "no? wtf?"

and then she was like I have to pee

Got up. I was like ....uh....

so I sat up, and was like "uhhhhhhh."

turned the light on

shit all over

it was THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE
Posts: 11,429
MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.MTG#10 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:03 PM   #67
Hootie Hootie is offline
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it's funny now

but I tell you what the best moment of my life was when she finally got the clue to leave and then I showered and it was amazing.

amazing

I slept on my couch that night

and then the next day I cleaned my apartment and threw away so many things

my apartment has never been cleaner

amazing
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Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:13 PM   #68
Don Corlemahomes Don Corlemahomes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
it's funny now

but I tell you what the best moment of my life was when she finally got the clue to leave and then I showered and it was amazing.

amazing

I slept on my couch that night

and then the next day I cleaned my apartment and threw away so many things

my apartment has never been cleaner

amazing
Dear god man. Really? That shit has aerosolized. It's on your tootbrush, towels, walls, floor, lotion you jerk with, etc. Everything. You need a deep cleaning service to cover your place with irradiated clorox.
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:14 PM   #69
eDave eDave is offline
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Originally Posted by Cunning Linguist View Post
Dear god man. Really? That shit has aerosolized. It's on your tootbrush, towels, walls, floor, lotion you jerk with, etc. Everything. You need a deep cleaning service to cover your place with irradiated clorox.
Move and burn that shit to the ground.
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eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.eDave is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:35 PM   #70
Hootie Hootie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cunning Linguist View Post
Dear god man. Really? That shit has aerosolized. It's on your tootbrush, towels, walls, floor, lotion you jerk with, etc. Everything. You need a deep cleaning service to cover your place with irradiated clorox.
even if I closed my door and cried myself to sleep?
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Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:38 PM   #71
thabear04 thabear04 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
No. Not at all. I'm 29 years old and have had sex X amount of times and literally have never even had a girl fart during sex.

She was on top of me ... kinda stopped ... and was like, "did you fart?"

She said that to me.

And I was like, "no? wtf?"

and then she was like I have to pee

Got up. I was like ....uh....

so I sat up, and was like "uhhhhhhh."

turned the light on

shit all over

it was THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE
Damn that shit sucks
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:39 PM   #72
TLO TLO is offline
Life is changing..
 
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Ok some of the stuff in this thread did make me smile.

Thanks for all the input.
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TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.TLO is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:39 PM   #73
Hootie Hootie is offline
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my buddy, who knew the girl (really nice girl), hated the story because he just felt bad for the girl

I did too.

I was super nice about it.

As she finally got the hint to leave, she was like "give me a goodbye kiss" and I was like "omgggggggggggggggggg"

I literally showered for 30 minutes and slept on my couch. It was devastating.
Posts: 56,356
Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:40 PM   #74
Hootie Hootie is offline
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I sat on my couch, after said shower, and was just relieved that I was single. I was like, "wow, I really enjoy the fact that girl left and the only thing I had to deal with, for however long I wanted, was myself."

being single has perks
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Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.Hootie < Tried to steal Andy's chili fries.
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Old 11-22-2014, 01:49 PM   #75
Pepe Silvia Pepe Silvia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hootie 2.0 View Post
No. Not at all. I'm 29 years old and have had sex X amount of times and literally have never even had a girl fart during sex.

She was on top of me ... kinda stopped ... and was like, "did you fart?"

She said that to me.

And I was like, "no? wtf?"

and then she was like I have to pee

Got up. I was like ....uh....

so I sat up, and was like "uhhhhhhh."

turned the light on

shit all over

it was THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE
She Puddin' Popped ya huh?
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Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.Pepe Silvia has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
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