Life Any lawyers here? Need advice on complicated custody dispute - Page 10

MTG#10 · 08-01-2013, 03:42 PM

Ok here's what's going on:

My ex and I have been divorced for a 2-3 years. We agreed to 50/50 everything with our kids...time with them, decision making, etc. My address is their legal address for mailing and educational purposes. Neither one of us pay child support, and even though the time with them is supposed to be 50/50 its more like 60/40 with me and Ive been keeping a detailed log for the last year.

Ex meets another guy, he joins the army a year later, they get married about 3 months after he joins. He now finds out he's being relocated to a base in Georgia. Ex thinks she is going to move with him and take our kids with her.

Everything the kids need or have ever known are here. Their school they've gone to since they started, me, their entire family on both sides...everything.

Is there anything for me to worry about? I know judges want to do whats best for the kids, so surely no judge would let her uproot and move them to another state without my consent, right? The only thing Im worried about is the military thing, that maybe they'd get special treatment for that...but at the same time, he decided to join after they were together and they both knew her situation with my kids. My lawyer doesn't think I have anything to worry about, but of course he's going to tell me that since he wants my $.

Window Licking Whiner · 03-28-2014, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valiant

Guess we will find out. Of the 3 guys I know who went through similar. None of them won. One of the wives just picked up and left. Now maybe his lawyer sucked. But once found, she did not move back. Nor did the state require her to return with kid.

Good luck. But don't be fooled into thinking the letter of the law is always followed.

My case was utah specific. Im glad MO laws are better, but there are a thousand ways for her to win......for you there are very very few ways to win. It takes money/time/consistency/restraint/ and knowledge to win.

Dont take my word for it, there are ample horror stories about family court. Take a look at mensrights on reddit if youd like to see more.

No matter what happens at the end of this you will be smarter about how truly ****ed our system is. Even if you do win, and dude im hoping you do.

stonedstooge · 03-28-2014, 04:51 PM

Good luck to you. I've been fighting my ex old lady in court for 7 years trying to get my shit back and the money she owed me

MTG#10 · 03-28-2014, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gochiefs_va

My case was utah specific. Im glad MO laws are better, but there are a thousand ways for her to win......for you there are very very few ways to win. It takes money/time/consistency/restraint/ and knowledge to win.

Dont take my word for it, there are ample horror stories about family court. Take a look at mensrights on reddit if youd like to see more.

No matter what happens at the end of this you will be smarter about how truly ****ed our system is. Even if you do win, and dude im hoping you do.

It takes money/time/consitency/restraint/ and knowledge for her to win too...even more so and she faces a lot tougher of a battle than I do.

Read these, they confirm what the two attorneys and former judge I spoke to told me. I'm still nervous, but its not as bleak of a situation as you think.

http://www.columbiamofamilylawblog.c...elocation-law/

http://www.foxfamilylawyers.com/fox-...ail.asp?id=228

According to these blogs (and my attorney) in MO its extremely difficult for a parent even with sole custody to move their child out of state without the other parent's consent. I have joint physical, legal and sole residential...and have had them more than she has.

RobBlake · 03-28-2014, 07:20 PM

Just do what your lawyer says.. if you can show your a dad who is loving and can provide and don't have many eff ups that will be found in discovery stage then you have just as good as a chance as keeping them starting out. A case is like a 12 round boxing match...ups n downs just don't say anything stupid to her during the process and listen to your lawyer.

MTG#10 · 03-28-2014, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobBlake

Just do what your lawyer says.. if you can show your a dad who is loving and can provide and don't have many eff ups that will be found in discovery stage then you have just as good as a chance as keeping them starting out. A case is like a 12 round boxing match...ups n downs just don't say anything stupid to her during the process and listen to your lawyer.

n00b comes out with the best advice in the entire thread.

Bravo sir. Bravo.

houstonwhodat · 03-29-2014, 09:56 AM

SMITH & WESSON

MTG#10 · 03-29-2014, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by houstonwhodat

SMITH & WESSON

Don't worry she's white bro

Halfcan · 03-29-2014, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MTG#10

Ok here's what's going on:

My ex and I have been divorced for a 2-3 years. We agreed to 50/50 everything with our kids...time with them, decision making, etc. My address is their legal address for mailing and educational purposes. Neither one of us pay child support, and even though the time with them is supposed to be 50/50 its more like 60/40 with me and Ive been keeping a detailed log for the last year.

Ex meets another guy, he joins the army a year later, they get married about 3 months after he joins. He now finds out he's being relocated to a base in Georgia. Ex thinks she is going to move with him and take our kids with her.

Everything the kids need or have ever known are here. Their school they've gone to since they started, me, their entire family on both sides...everything.

Is there anything for me to worry about? I know judges want to do whats best for the kids, so surely no judge would let her uproot and move them to another state without my consent, right? The only thing Im worried about is the military thing, that maybe they'd get special treatment for that...but at the same time, he decided to join after they were together and they both knew her situation with my kids. My lawyer doesn't think I have anything to worry about, but of course he's going to tell me that since he wants my $.

Jeez these bitches are dumb and selfish. They never think about what is best for their kids. They meet some swinging dick and it becomes all about their perfect new man. Been there done that.

Since you already have a custody agreement and you have followed it and been the better parent. Plus the fact they are in your school district- I don't think you have to worry about it. Most judges won't change the original unless one of the parents are in jail, abusive, drugs, murder, hurting the kids, ect and even then it is a hassle to get them to change another judges verdict.

Most of the time when some chick wants to chase a guy she just met it never works out. Judges have seen this many times over and most likely won't let her drag the kids into her drama. The most you might lose is a summer break with their mom-2 or 3 weeks and maybe every other holiday. But is highly unlikely they will be uprooted and forced into a potentially damaging situation.

Best of luck!!

Tacoman · 03-29-2014, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer

Well, actually if you answered yes to quesation #5 I don't think I can help you because it means your stuped. Sorry.

Moon§hiner · 03-29-2014, 02:38 PM

Missouri must have different laws than Kansas. When I filed for divorce and my daughter was with her mom, the first thing I had to do was have myself served with papers ordering my boss to withhold a set amount. Both of us had to have the others permission to take her out of state. Divorce cost 500. Ex wanted to move out of state. Told her no and she said I could have her. Told her I wouldn't pay her child support, cost another 50 to have her sign off. 10 years later she gets an attorney to garnish wages for back support. I had the court papers to prove I didn't and we haven't spoken since.

Moon§hiner · 03-29-2014, 02:41 PM

BTW female attorneys rock!

htismaqe · 03-29-2014, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halfcan

Most judges won't change the original unless one of the parents are in jail, abusive, drugs, murder, hurting the kids, ect and even then it is a hassle to get them to change another judges verdict.

This. Seen a lot of cases where one parent was basically non-existent and the judge STILL wouldn't do anything.

Mojo Jojo · 03-29-2014, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon§hiner

BTW female attorneys rock!

This

R8RFAN · 03-29-2014, 06:50 PM

I haven't read this whole thread but this is one of the consequences of making babies with someone who you are not right for.

My friend is in this situation and every she moves, he transfers and goes where they are.

Chazno · 03-29-2014, 07:40 PM

MTG, I talked with you about this last year. I ran it quickly by my wife, the female family law attorney (shameless plug) and she echoed much that has been said here. Missouri is tough on relocations especially when they are following a new love interest. But, she emphasized, do not miss that deadline.

Also the rate is not unreasonable. Remember even you give the attorney money now, it's not theirs until they give you an invoice for work completed. My wife's detail each hour spent for more piece of mind.

08-01-2013, 03:42 PM
MTG#10 Mammoth penis Join Date: May 2006 Location: Springfield Casino cash: $7544386	Any lawyers here? Need advice on complicated custody dispute Ok here's what's going on: My ex and I have been divorced for a 2-3 years. We agreed to 50/50 everything with our kids...time with them, decision making, etc. My address is their legal address for mailing and educational purposes. Neither one of us pay child support, and even though the time with them is supposed to be 50/50 its more like 60/40 with me and Ive been keeping a detailed log for the last year. Ex meets another guy, he joins the army a year later, they get married about 3 months after he joins. He now finds out he's being relocated to a base in Georgia. Ex thinks she is going to move with him and take our kids with her. Everything the kids need or have ever known are here. Their school they've gone to since they started, me, their entire family on both sides...everything. Is there anything for me to worry about? I know judges want to do whats best for the kids, so surely no judge would let her uproot and move them to another state without my consent, right? The only thing Im worried about is the military thing, that maybe they'd get special treatment for that...but at the same time, he decided to join after they were together and they both knew her situation with my kids. My lawyer doesn't think I have anything to worry about, but of course he's going to tell me that since he wants my $.
Posts: 11,429

03-28-2014, 04:51 PM	#137
stonedstooge Arf! Arf! Arf! Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: North Casino cash: $6124173	Good luck to you. I've been fighting my ex old lady in court for 7 years trying to get my shit back and the money she owed me __________________ 2013 ADOPT A CHIEF Eric Kush "Often is a word I seldom use"--JP
Posts: 25,283

03-28-2014, 07:20 PM	#139
RobBlake Banned Join Date: Aug 2013 Casino cash: $10011127	Just do what your lawyer says.. if you can show your a dad who is loving and can provide and don't have many eff ups that will be found in discovery stage then you have just as good as a chance as keeping them starting out. A case is like a 12 round boxing match...ups n downs just don't say anything stupid to her during the process and listen to your lawyer.
Posts: 7,127

03-29-2014, 09:56 AM	#141
houstonwhodat Banned Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Parallel Universe Casino cash: $10004900	SMITH & WESSON
Posts: 2,637

03-29-2014, 02:38 PM	#145
Moon§hiner Starter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Kansas, USA Casino cash: $10005272	Missouri must have different laws than Kansas. When I filed for divorce and my daughter was with her mom, the first thing I had to do was have myself served with papers ordering my boss to withhold a set amount. Both of us had to have the others permission to take her out of state. Divorce cost 500. Ex wanted to move out of state. Told her no and she said I could have her. Told her I wouldn't pay her child support, cost another 50 to have her sign off. 10 years later she gets an attorney to garnish wages for back support. I had the court papers to prove I didn't and we haven't spoken since. __________________ "A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history- with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila"
Posts: 401

03-29-2014, 02:41 PM	#146
Moon§hiner Starter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Kansas, USA Casino cash: $10005272	BTW female attorneys rock!
Posts: 401

03-29-2014, 06:50 PM	#149
R8RFAN Molôn Labé Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: North Carolina Casino cash: $8566872	I haven't read this whole thread but this is one of the consequences of making babies with someone who you are not right for. My friend is in this situation and every she moves, he transfers and goes where they are.
Posts: 23,164

03-29-2014, 07:40 PM	#150
Chazno Starter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: asdf Casino cash: $4517963	MTG, I talked with you about this last year. I ran it quickly by my wife, the female family law attorney (shameless plug) and she echoed much that has been said here. Missouri is tough on relocations especially when they are following a new love interest. But, she emphasized, do not miss that deadline. Also the rate is not unreasonable. Remember even you give the attorney money now, it's not theirs until they give you an invoice for work completed. My wife's detail each hour spent for more piece of mind.
Posts: 507