Psycho ex-stories

[mike_b_284]

I just broke up with my girlfriend this weekend and she isn't taking very well. And by well I mean with a shred of effing sanity. Some crazy shit has been going down. I think she might start stalking me. She came by to get the last of her stuff from my apartment. I went to my room to check to make sure she had everything, when I came out her and my mp3 player were gone. I went to ask for it back and she kept denying it. I wrote it off and left, happy never to talk to her again. I went and played video games at my friend's for a couple hours, then went to quiktrip for some food. While I am eating my hot dog in the parking lot, I look over and there she is. Keep in mind this is twenty minutes from where I live and from where she lives. This means she was driving around for at least forty minutes looking for me. She gets in my car and starts sobbing, telling me she can't sleep and all she can do is cry. I ask for my stuff back and she says no. I tell her to get out of my car and she says no. Finally a cop walks up and asks if everything is okay, before I can tell him to remove the bitch from my car she gets out. She called well over 20 times since then and I am starting to get a little nervous.

How about your craziest ex's? rep to the worst

[ptlyon]

Man, there sure are some twisted ****ers that post here on the planet.








I love this place.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by ptlyon

That was mean.

Thanks.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by ptlyon

Man, there sure are some twisted ****ers that post here on the planet.

No kidding. Eating a hot dog from a convenience store?!?

[angel]

In high school, one of my friends casually mentioned in a group conversation that he always wanted to have a stalker, so I took it upon myself to leave random notes made from cut-out letters from magazines, cans of spam, and dead flowers, in his locker, and anywhere else I thought he would find them. He thought it was awesome to have a stalker who would leave him cans of spam.

[siberian khatru]

Originally Posted by angel

In high school, one of my friends casually mentioned in a group conversation that he always wanted to have a stalker, so I took it upon myself to leave random notes made from cut-out letters from magazines, cans of spam, and dead flowers, in his locker, and anywhere else I thought he would find them. He thought it was awesome to have a stalker who would leave him cans of spam.

That's so cute.

Now, how would YOU dispose of the body?

[angel]

Originally Posted by siberian khatru

That's so cute.

Now, how would YOU dispose of the body?

I know a guy who has a pig farm in western Kansas- he helps me out on the rare occasion I need it...

[sedated]

Originally Posted by siberian khatru

That's so cute.

Now, how would YOU dispose of the body?

I'm guessing a Human/SPAM stew


mmm....Spam

[sedated]

Could be worse, at least you find out who she is now.

18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years
I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car's crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV Any Given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money
She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money
She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money
Should of got that insured, GEICO for ya moneeey( your money)
If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenupt
WE WANT PRENUPT!, Yeaah
It's something that you need to have
Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on the 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his

Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (Well I'm in Need)
But she aint messin wit no broke *****z(can you feel me ma)
Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm in Need)
but she aint messin wit no broke *****z(i gotta leave)

[siberian khatru]

Originally Posted by sedated

Could be worse, at least you find out who she is now.

18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years
I know somebody payin child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car's crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV Any Given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was spose to buy ya shorty TYCO with ya money
She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money
She walkin around lookin like Michael with ya money
Should of got that insured, GEICO for ya moneeey( your money)
If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenupt
WE WANT PRENUPT!, Yeaah
It's something that you need to have
Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on the 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his

Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (Well I'm in Need)
But she aint messin wit no broke *****z(can you feel me ma)
Now I aint sayin she a gold digger (When I'm in Need)
but she aint messin wit no broke *****z(i gotta leave)

I love Sinatra.

[Simplex3]

I've never had one go psycho on me after the breakup because they all do that while I'm still with them. The worst was the one that I was actually living with. She's bitching to me for a month about how we don't have enough money, then suddenly two days go by with no money talk. I'm thinking she must have finally gotten over it, but no, she show up with a new car. A couple of days later she shows up with a new TV that she paid for with some financing deal. Then she takes to leaving dishes around the apt. until the food on them molds, letting her cat puke on the floor and leaving it forever, etc. Finally I "forgot her birthday", which pissed her off and got her to leave. Best part was she took the TV, but the bills kept coming because she had put the f**ker in my name. Seems she couldn't get the credit herself. Not quite sure to this day how she pulled that one off, though.

[cdcox]

Originally Posted by Bob Dole

For future reference:

They can't do any of that crap if they're 6 feet under in the back yard.

Someone actually did this in real life on Court TV. They found the body.

[cdcox]

Originally Posted by siberian khatru

That's taking a big chance, don't you think?

Better to dismember the body and put each part in a separate trash bag, then drop each bag in a different Dumpster around town.

Someone actually did this in real life on Court TV. They found the body.

[cdcox]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

You guys aren't thinking this through. Buy a little concrete and punch a hole in the basement floor. There's no reason to take this stuff outdoors.

Just be sure to carpet the basement afterwards. And it wouldn't hurt to make a bunch of holes. Even if they show up, the cops won't want to dig up all of them.

Someone actually did this in real life on Court TV. They found the body.

[Simplex3]

Note to you killers out there:

You're the first place they're going to look.

[cdcox]

Originally Posted by gopeeking

You've BOTH got it wrong.

Strangle the bitch.

Buy a bag of lime.

Dig a hole in your backyard at about 1 am.

Put the body in the hole.

Cover the body with lime.

Cover the hole with dirt.

No evidence will ever be found.

Someone actually did this in real life on Court TV. They found the body.