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Old 01-17-2006, 11:49 AM  
mike_b_284 mike_b_284 is offline
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Psycho ex-stories

I just broke up with my girlfriend this weekend and she isn't taking very well. And by well I mean with a shred of effing sanity. Some crazy shit has been going down. I think she might start stalking me. She came by to get the last of her stuff from my apartment. I went to my room to check to make sure she had everything, when I came out her and my mp3 player were gone. I went to ask for it back and she kept denying it. I wrote it off and left, happy never to talk to her again. I went and played video games at my friend's for a couple hours, then went to quiktrip for some food. While I am eating my hot dog in the parking lot, I look over and there she is. Keep in mind this is twenty minutes from where I live and from where she lives. This means she was driving around for at least forty minutes looking for me. She gets in my car and starts sobbing, telling me she can't sleep and all she can do is cry. I ask for my stuff back and she says no. I tell her to get out of my car and she says no. Finally a cop walks up and asks if everything is okay, before I can tell him to remove the bitch from my car she gets out. She called well over 20 times since then and I am starting to get a little nervous.

How about your craziest ex's? rep to the worst
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:54 AM   #2
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
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They can't do any of that crap if they're 6 feet under in the back yard.
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Old 01-17-2006, 11:59 AM   #3
siberian khatru siberian khatru is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Dole
For future reference:

They can't do any of that crap if they're 6 feet under in the back yard.
That's taking a big chance, don't you think?

Better to dismember the body and put each part in a separate trash bag, then drop each bag in a different Dumpster around town.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:01 PM   #4
Hootie Hootie is offline
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lol.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:04 PM   #5
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You guys aren't thinking this through. Buy a little concrete and punch a hole in the basement floor. There's no reason to take this stuff outdoors.

Just be sure to carpet the basement afterwards. And it wouldn't hurt to make a bunch of holes. Even if they show up, the cops won't want to dig up all of them.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:05 PM   #6
chagrin chagrin is offline
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You don't think much of this girl do you; I mean you had her move in with you and here you are talking about her like she's some crazy lunatic. She obviously took the whole moving in thing very seriously so she's obviously upset - give her a few weeks and I bet you will see it die down.

I know you didn't ask for my opinion, but sounds like she's sad dude, give her a break - unless of course some real craziness reveals itself. then kill her, cook her and feed her to your friends, the ones you play video games with. That'll teach her.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:05 PM   #7
mike_b_284 mike_b_284 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Dole
For future reference:

They can't do any of that crap if they're 6 feet under in the back yard.

Whoa, that's taking things a little far don't you think?
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:06 PM   #8
mike_b_284 mike_b_284 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chagrin
You don't think much of this girl do you; I mean you had her move in with you and here you are talking about her like she's some crazy lunatic. She obviously took the whole moving in thing very seriously so she's obviously upset - give her a few weeks and I bet you will see it die down.
Lets just say she revealed a very ugly side of herself over the weekend and I lost a lot of respect for her.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:07 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mike_b_284

Whoa, that's taking things a little far don't you think?
I think he was talking about your own back yard, not his.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:08 PM   #10
siberian khatru siberian khatru is offline
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You're still using her for sex, right? She sounds needy and desperate enough to do lots of freaky things in a humiliating attempt to please you. That could pay off handsomely for you.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:08 PM   #11
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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You've BOTH got it wrong.

Strangle the bitch.

Buy a bag of lime.

Dig a hole in your backyard at about 1 am.

Put the body in the hole.

Cover the body with lime.

Cover the hole with dirt.

No evidence will ever be found.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:10 PM   #12
Ebolapox Ebolapox is offline
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dude, you got nothing on one of my exes--don't feel like going into the gory detail, but that b*tch was fucked up

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Old 01-17-2006, 12:11 PM   #13
Bob Dole Bob Dole is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by siberian khatru
That's taking a big chance, don't you think?

Better to dismember the body and put each part in a separate trash bag, then drop each bag in a different Dumpster around town.
If you're going to go to that much trouble, then just freeze the body, cut it up with a chain saw and feed it through a wood chipper.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:12 PM   #14
NewChief NewChief is offline
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This girl wasn't even an ex, but she was crazy:

While backpacking in Greece and camping on a beach on the isle of Crete (wow, this is already sounding J. Peterman-esque), my tent blew through a barbed wire fence. Long story short, I ended up meeting some German fraulein who took pity on me and let me stay in her pension with her. We stayed together for a couple of days, had some good times, then it was time for me to move to another locale. Of course we exchanged addresses.

Anyway, she starts writing me letters, and I occassionally wrote back. But her letters started pouring in at the rate of 3-4 a week and they averaged between 4-5 pages each. I started to get freaked out, and I stopped writing her. The letters kept pouring in, with an occassional reference to her wanting to come to the United States.

Then it happened. I was coming home from a class, and the chick is waiting on my front porch. She'd flown to Arkansas from Germany and found me. Not only that, but she had no transportation, no lodging, and was staying for a month. Sooo, she moved in for a very awkward month. Luckily, one of my friend's sisters who had little to do at the time took mercy on us both and took her to St. Louis and some other places.

I actually felt really bad, because I was to blame for a lot of the mess, but I never, ever thought that she'd actually fly from Germany to Arkansas without even really telling me.
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Old 01-17-2006, 12:12 PM   #15
siberian khatru siberian khatru is offline
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The more I think about it, the more I'm intrigued by chagrin's "cook her and feed her to your friends" idea. That has possibilities.
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