Funny Stuff Clean jokes can be funny too! - Page 3

Frankie · 05:17 PM

Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them.

Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts.

ChiefFripp · 09-25-2005, 01:51 PM

A metermaid is walking by a bank one day when she sees a businessman walking to his Jaguar. Suddenly out of nowhere ,a pickup truck sideswipes the the businessman as he is getting into his car.

Metermaid: "holybajeebus mister are you okay?"
Businessman:OMG! Look what that crudhead(censored for this thread) did to my car!"

The metermaid is taken aback by the man's materialism...

Metermaid :" But sir don't you realise that your left arm is missing?!"
Businessman : "Gosh Darn It!!"
Metermaid :!?
Buisnessman:"My Rolex!"

Demonpenz · 09-25-2005, 02:41 PM

whats green and sings and elvis parcley

RxKbolt · 09-25-2005, 02:53 PM

A bear and a rabbit are taking a crap in the woods. The bear looks at the rabbit and asked "do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "no", so the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt with it.

Frankie · 09-25-2005, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cochise

Why did Tigger have his head in the toilet?

He was looking for pooh.

(groan)

I said clean jokes, not lame ones.

Frankie · 09-25-2005, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RxKbolt

A bear and a rabbit are taking a crap in the woods. The bear looks at the rabbit and asked "do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "no", so the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt with it.

This would be a dirty joke wouldn't it? I don't know. I'm sooo confused now.

Simplex3 · 09-25-2005, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankie

This would be a dirty joke wouldn't it? I don't know. I'm sooo confused now.

Depends on if you take it from the bear or rabbit's perspective.

penchief · 09-25-2005, 04:27 PM

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Simplex3 · 09-25-2005, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penchief

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Put in jail for stealing them from the zoo?

Frankie · 09-25-2005, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penchief

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

I give up, what?

penchief · 09-25-2005, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penchief

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

...hell if I know.

Frankie · 09-25-2005, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by penchief

...hell if I know.

Oh so really just wanted to find out.

**Baby Lee** · 09-25-2005, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankie

Oh so really just wanted to find out.

Say it aloud instead of reading it.

onescrewleftuntwisted · 09-25-2005, 06:33 PM

dirty joke : little boy fell in a mud puddle

clean joke : little boy took a bath

**Dave Lane** · 09-25-2005, 09:51 PM

A school bus driver is picking up kids in the morning. His bus is painted on the outside with characters from Sesame Street.

He picks up a kid who is known to be mean-spirited named Leonard. Leonard gets on the bus and sits behind the driver.
They drive on, and on the next stop pick-up the Patty twins. Two overweight girls.
Leonard says "Hi Fat Patty's!".
The driver get's upset and says they are not fat, they are obesse.
The next stop they pick-up a "slow" kid named Ross.
Leonard chimes in again "It's reeruned Ross!"
The driver says, "he's not reeruned, he's special."
By this time the other children are quite upset with Leonard, and one of them shouts "Leonard cheats in class and picks his bunyons!"
The driver is furious at the children's behavior, and turns around and begins yelling and screaming at them all to be sit down and be quiet.
While he is turned around yelling, he sees a policeman behind the bus, with his lights on.
The driver pulls over, and the officer approaches.
"Sir, you just drove right through that stop sign with all of these kids on your bus. You could've gotten the all kids killed. You really need to concentrate on the road a bit more!"
The driver replies:
"Officer, you'd find it hard to concentrate too if you had (sing to old Big Mac jingle) two obesse Pattys, special sox, Lester picking bunyons on a Sesame Seed bus!"

Simplex3 · 09-25-2005, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dave Lane

"Officer, you'd find it hard to concentrate too if you had (sing to old Big Mac jingle) two obesse Pattys, special sox, Lester picking bunyons on a Sesame Seed bus!"

You're not very good at this are you?

09-25-2005, 09:00 AM
Frankie Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Casino cash: $10004900	Clean jokes can be funny too! Or at least good for a chuckle. Here's something completely different (for this BB). This thread is dedicated to ONLY CLEAN JOKES. Please post any clean joke that you find funny or at least amusing. We will not call you "dorks." Not in this thread. Let's see what you've got,... and share them. Don't worry about repeat jokes. Nobody has time to check all posts. Last edited by Frankie; 07-10-2011 at 05:17 PM..
Posts: 26,959

09-25-2005, 01:51 PM	#31
ChiefFripp Veteran Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: KC Casino cash: $10004900	A metermaid is walking by a bank one day when she sees a businessman walking to his Jaguar. Suddenly out of nowhere ,a pickup truck sideswipes the the businessman as he is getting into his car. Metermaid: "holybajeebus mister are you okay?" Businessman:OMG! Look what that crudhead(censored for this thread) did to my car!" The metermaid is taken aback by the man's materialism... Metermaid :" But sir don't you realise that your left arm is missing?!" Businessman : "Gosh Darn It!!" Metermaid :!? Buisnessman:"My Rolex!"
Posts: 2,579

09-25-2005, 02:41 PM	#32
Demonpenz I got Rice cookin in the micro Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $3202136	whats green and sings and elvis parcley __________________
Posts: 54,238

09-25-2005, 02:53 PM	#33
RxKbolt Rookie Join Date: Nov 2004 Casino cash: $10004900	A bear and a rabbit are taking a crap in the woods. The bear looks at the rabbit and asked "do you have a problem with crap sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says "no", so the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt with it.
Posts: 10

09-25-2005, 04:27 PM	#37
penchief MVP Join Date: Feb 2003 Casino cash: $6335286	What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Posts: 17,027

09-25-2005, 06:33 PM	#43
onescrewleftuntwisted if only i had a hammer Join Date: May 2005 Location: your momma didn't say Casino cash: $10004900	dirty joke : little boy fell in a mud puddle clean joke : little boy took a bath __________________ quote lost in translation
Posts: 1,090

09-25-2005, 09:51 PM	#44
Dave Lane Space Cadet and Aczabel Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Kanab, UT, USA Casino cash: $9333275 VARSITY	A school bus driver is picking up kids in the morning. His bus is painted on the outside with characters from Sesame Street. He picks up a kid who is known to be mean-spirited named Leonard. Leonard gets on the bus and sits behind the driver. They drive on, and on the next stop pick-up the Patty twins. Two overweight girls. Leonard says "Hi Fat Patty's!". The driver get's upset and says they are not fat, they are obesse. The next stop they pick-up a "slow" kid named Ross. Leonard chimes in again "It's reeruned Ross!" The driver says, "he's not reeruned, he's special." By this time the other children are quite upset with Leonard, and one of them shouts "Leonard cheats in class and picks his bunyons!" The driver is furious at the children's behavior, and turns around and begins yelling and screaming at them all to be sit down and be quiet. While he is turned around yelling, he sees a policeman behind the bus, with his lights on. The driver pulls over, and the officer approaches. "Sir, you just drove right through that stop sign with all of these kids on your bus. You could've gotten the all kids killed. You really need to concentrate on the road a bit more!" The driver replies: "Officer, you'd find it hard to concentrate too if you had (sing to old Big Mac jingle) two obesse Pattys, special sox, Lester picking bunyons on a Sesame Seed bus!" __________________ Thanks, Trump for the civics lesson. We are learning so much about RICO, espionage, sedition, impeachment, the 25th Amendment, order of succession, nepotism, separation of powers, 1st Amendment, obstruction of justice, the emoluments clause, conflicts of interest, collusion, sanctions, oligarchs, money laundering and so much more.
Posts: 40,584