My quest for the perfect birthday photo.

[Rain Man]

If you read the chiefsplanet tabloids at all, you probably know that I'm about to turn fifty.

Fifty.

It's a time of reflection. A time of taking stock. And to a great extent, it's a time of figuring out how you should celebrate surviving a half-century of life on earth, which for the most part is reserved for humans, turtles, parrots, and some mosses and large tree species.

So as my birthday's headlights began appearing over the horizon, my wife asked me how I want to celebrate it. She's older than me, and on her fiftieth we hosted a big party with all of her friends and five really awesome cakes, each decorated to reflect one decade of her life. It was a very nice party, and it made her happy to celebrate it with her friends.

She asked if I wanted to have a party with my friends, but I thought about it and said no. My fiftieth birthday should be bigger than just hanging out on Chiefsplanet for a few hours and fedexing you some cake.

What, then, should we do? I gave it some thought, but she nixed my initial suggestion of a threesome. Honestly I didn't expect that to fly anyway.

My second choice, however, did, and it became my quest. For my fiftieth birthday, I want to take a really cool and memorable fiftieth birthday photo.

After several months of planning, the process has begun. I will post pictures of my progress.

Let me begin by saying that if you fly, you should fly first class. I seldom do, but I shot up a decade or so of frequent flyer miles and got "the pod", one of those first-class seats that folds completely flat into a bed. [ferris bueller voice] If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up on a long flight. [/bueller] Plus, you get a nice big screen with hundreds of movies and TV shows, and they give you a little bowl of cashews before every meal. Choice.