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Old 06-12-2017, 10:00 AM  
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
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Hypothetical: Get your time travel assignment here.

Here's the situation: you show up for work on Monday morning, and as you're drinking your initial cup of coffee or Dr. Pepper, an e-mail arrives from your CEO with one of those red exclamation points on it. You open it up.

In a surprise move, your company is moving all operations to the Central African Republic. You can relocate there at a wage of 50 cents per day, plus the company will cover the cost of your first 100 rounds of self-protection ammo, or you can get laid off. You take the second option.

You start browsing through the job ads and come across this one:

Local community college seeks documenting historian. Must be open to new cultures, foods, and experiences.

You answer the ad and you get an interview immediately once they see your resume line item about proficiency in the Microsoft Office suite. You go to the interview and they ask questions about how much you need coffee and electricity and indoor plumbing. They seem satisfied with your answers.

A few days later, you get the nice e-mail that you’ve been accepted into the Twin Pines Community College Time Travel Project as a documenting historian. As it turns out, one of the dental technician students wired some machinery together oddly and created a time machine, so now Twin Pines is the world leader in time travel.

Your assignment will be to go back into the past, live for a year, and document what you see. You can pick your landing location anywhere on the earth. The only challenge is that the time machine picks a random year and no one can control it. You’ll arrive on January 1st according to the Gregorian calendar and depart on December 31st, but no one will know what year until you arrive. The machine overweights more recent years, so the odds are 50 percent that you’ll be more recent than the year 700 AD, and 80 percent that you’ll be more recent than 1,100 BC, but conceivably you could go all the way back to the earth’s beginning.

If you accept the job I’ll randomly assign you a year, and you’ll have to report back on where you would go and what you would try to document. Assume that you will be equipped with a translation device and that you will not change history if you interact with it. Any people or creatures will merely see you as an oddity and minor annoyance, kind of like Michael Strahan on TV shows.

Who wishes to enter the Twin Pines time machine? Volunteer in the thread and I’ll assign you a year.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:04 AM   #2
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
Bono & Grbac wasn't enough
 

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Can I just go into the future instead to see if the Mahomes pick was an awesome one?

TIA
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:06 AM   #3
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ptlyon View Post
Can I just go into the future instead to see if the Mahomes pick was an awesome one?

TIA
They won't waste money on that one since it's a given.

Your assigned year is 9864 BC.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:10 AM   #4
Rausch Rausch is offline
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I prefer good dental health and regular showers but I'd trade it all to make cell phones go away...
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"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
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Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:11 AM   #5
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
They won't waste money on that one since it's a given.

Your assigned year is 9864 BC.
Verdict is not guilty because of spelling violation in original sentencing. Case dismissed!
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ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.ptlyon is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:12 AM   #6
big nasty kcnut big nasty kcnut is offline
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:13 AM   #7
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ptlyon View Post
Verdict is not guilty because of spelling violation in original sentencing. Case dismissed!
...
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Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
Posts: 67,952
Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rausch is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:16 AM   #8
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
In.

I prefer good dental health and regular showers but I'd trade it all to make cell phones go away...
Your assigned year is 71 AD. Lots of good possibilities for study there.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:16 AM   #9
KC Tattoo KC Tattoo is offline
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It would be interesting to learn about brothels back in time.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:17 AM   #10
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by big nasty kcnut View Post
In!
We're looking forward to reading your report about the year 2543 BC.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:17 AM   #11
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
**** you, asshole
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man View Post
Local community college seeks documenting historian. Must be open to new cultures, foods, and experiences.

You answer the ad and you get an interview immediately once they see your resume line item about proficiency in the Microsoft Office suite.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:17 AM   #12
MIAdragon MIAdragon is offline
Someone pass the antifreeze
 
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MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.MIAdragon has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:18 AM   #13
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
**** you, asshole
 
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Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:18 AM   #14
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch View Post
...
I'm going to break my assigning rule and require ptlyon to study the origin of those words.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 06-12-2017, 10:19 AM   #15
Rain Man Rain Man is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KC Tattoo View Post
It would be interesting to learn about brothels back in time.
You'll be visiting 1331 AD. Don't wear anything that looks witchy.
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Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.Rain Man is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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