Home Mail Chat Wallpapers
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > Hall of Classics

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-19-2014, 11:46 AM  
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
Carves a "P" with his blade
 
Hammock Parties's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $577
I'm on a mission to shit

Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
Posts: 199,829
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 07:17 AM   #256
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
Single Malt CP, Aged 18 Years
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Casino cash: $8859
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
Spinach FTW!
Boo Berry cereal FTW!
__________________
"Itís more complicated than that." -- Andy Reid
Posts: 65,613
htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 07:19 AM   #257
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
Single Malt CP, Aged 18 Years
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Casino cash: $8859
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
As it turns out taking too many laxatives in a 48-hour period can lead to some stomach discomfort. Oy vey.
Just wait until you realize what magnesium citrate does AFTER you go.
__________________
"Itís more complicated than that." -- Andy Reid
Posts: 65,613
htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 07:26 AM   #258
Mosbonian Mosbonian is offline
On Hiatus
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Casino cash: $3500
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Dole View Post
Or you are drinking too much grape soda...
Found this one out when I was a kid....scared the green crap out of me.
Posts: 9,403
Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.Mosbonian wants to die in a aids tree fire.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 07:32 AM   #259
lcarus lcarus is offline
Everybody Lies.
 
lcarus's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: 22 Acacia Avenue
Casino cash: $20028
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayze View Post
why is the top of the turd folded over like a poop oragami?
It's from overuse of that hook shaped dildo he's been using to tickle his prostate. Damn it Clay. I told you that thing would make your poops looks weird.
Posts: 13,112
lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.lcarus is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 07:33 AM   #260
okoye35chiefs okoye35chiefs is offline
Starter
 
okoye35chiefs's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Death Valley
Casino cash: $5000
you should call it "casseling".....
Posts: 674
okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.okoye35chiefs must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 08:42 AM   #261
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
Be Kind To Your Pets
 
gblowfish's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Glorious Independence, MO
Casino cash: $10036278
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flybone McTimmerson View Post
God damn it. I can't believe I actually just saw a picture of Clay's shit.
You couldn't pay me enough to open that photo. No way.
Posts: 35,102
gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 08:43 AM   #262
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
Single Malt CP, Aged 18 Years
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Casino cash: $8859
Quote:
Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
You couldn't pay me enough to open that photo. No way.
No kidding.

What did anybody think was going to be in that spoiler? Dumbshits.
__________________
"Itís more complicated than that." -- Andy Reid
Posts: 65,613
htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 08:44 AM   #263
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
Be Kind To Your Pets
 
gblowfish's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Glorious Independence, MO
Casino cash: $10036278
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzz View Post
Look on the bright side, after wiping your bung hole raw and your finger pokes through the toilet paper you will no longer be a virgin.
Hershey Squirts leads to that debilitating, uncomfortable sensation known as "Tangy Asshole."
Posts: 35,102
gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.gblowfish is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 08:47 AM   #264
ThaVirus ThaVirus is offline
Destroyer of worlds
 
ThaVirus's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Casino cash: $62469
Quote:
Originally Posted by eDave View Post
Grape soda?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob Dole View Post
Or you are drinking too much grape soda...

Heh.

I thought these were black jokes until I read Mosbonian's post.
__________________
"I don't know how to put this...but I'm kind of a big deal"
Posts: 31,810
ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.ThaVirus is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 08:49 AM   #265
srvy srvy is offline
Fight, build, win!
 
srvy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: KC
Casino cash: $31350
Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
No kidding.

What did anybody think was going to be in that spoiler? Dumbshits.
Substitute the vomit for the turd and its somthing like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5betKv46GB4
Posts: 11,867
srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.srvy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 09:23 AM   #266
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
Carves a "P" with his blade
 
Hammock Parties's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $577
I was rudely awakened at 2AM by a wet, explosive aftershock. Debris was small and scattered.

After a night of gurgly, fitful sleep, I broke my shitting fast about an hour ago. This was again explosive, wet and a powerful shock to my recently evacuated bowels. The formation resembled the Philippines.

I have since consumed two more pain pills. Will the cycle repeat itself? We will watch. And pray.
Posts: 199,829
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 09:24 AM   #267
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
Carves a "P" with his blade
 
Hammock Parties's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $577
Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
That's actually not as bad as I expected. I bet it was the consistency of a piece of rebar though. Did you cry when it came out? How's your butt? Did it tear?
It was actually not painful at all. I've been downing stool softeners like M&Ms since Friday.
Posts: 199,829
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 09:24 AM   #268
htismaqe htismaqe is offline
Single Malt CP, Aged 18 Years
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Chiefsplanet
Casino cash: $8859
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
I was rudely awakened at 2AM by a wet, explosive aftershock. Debris was small and scattered.

After a night of gurgly, fitful sleep, I broke my shitting fast about an hour ago. This was again explosive, wet and a powerful shock to my recently evacuated bowels. The formation resembled the Philippines.

I have since consumed two more pain pills. Will the cycle repeat itself? We will watch. And pray.
The thing is, the saline solution will continue to draw water into the intestine even after it's empty.

Prepare to pass water several times before it's over.
__________________
"Itís more complicated than that." -- Andy Reid
Posts: 65,613
htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.htismaqe is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 09:25 AM   #269
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
NOT TODAY SATAN!
 
Simply Red's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Casino cash: $2016177039
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by Count Zarth View Post
It was actually not painful at all. I've been downing stool softeners like M&Ms since Friday.
pls airmail leftover pain pills ASAP.
__________________
www.zombo.com
Posts: 61,805
Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 05-20-2014, 09:28 AM   #270
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
Carves a "P" with his blade
 
Hammock Parties's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2002
Casino cash: $577
Quote:
Originally Posted by htismaqe View Post
The thing is, the saline solution will continue to draw water into the intestine even after it's empty.

Prepare to pass water several times before it's over.
I had two fried eggs, some baked beans and an apple for breakfast.

My soul is prepared.
Posts: 199,829
Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.Hammock Parties is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:01 PM.


This is a test for a client's site.
Fort Worth Texas Process Servers
Covering Arlington, Fort Worth, Grand Prairie and surrounding communities.
Tarrant County, Texas and Johnson County, Texas.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.