Life GF of 3 years left me yesterday.... - Page 6

Pushead2 · 01-04-2011, 07:55 AM

She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore.....

I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window.

I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?

Brock · 01-04-2011, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Comanche

7. Are you sure there isn't another "Dude" in the picture? Often there is one even though you may not imagine it or want to believe it.

It's always another dude.

Frazod · 01-04-2011, 09:55 AM

at the "ignore everything you read here" post, backed up by six more numbered paragraphs.

trndobrd · 01-04-2011, 09:59 AM

Why were you planning on proposing to her later this year? Were you seriously going to do it and if so, why where you waiting?

Pushead2 · 01-04-2011, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trndobrd

Why were you planning on proposing to her later this year? Were you seriously going to do it and if so, why where you waiting?

We were planning a trip together & I was going to do it while on our trip. Also I would be finished with my degree. There were a few reasons for it but that were the main ones.

MOhillbilly · 01-04-2011, 10:08 AM

the new ink to hardcore for her?

ClevelandBronco · 01-04-2011, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

All this talk about "her" is bad. Real bad.

Ask yourself this; if she were run over by a train and the doctors saved her life but put her together so she looks like a cross between a kangaroo and Ralph Waldo Emerson, would you care as much? I don't think so.

Imagine that she has been struck by a train. Mourn. Then focus on yourself.

FAX

Get this tattooed on whatever clear patch of skin you have left. It's that important.

It'll hurt like a bitch, but then, so does love and getting run over by a train.

Don't get the FAX part tattooed. That would be weird and it would just raise uncomfortable questions with the next chick.

**Iowanian** · 01-04-2011, 10:19 AM

You'll eventually figure out that you were probably "content" not "happy". there is a difference.

Move on from the drama....she's likely humping her lab partner who "understands" her.

**TinyEvel** · 01-04-2011, 10:22 AM

Sorry to hear that dude, I went through a pretty tough breakup in college, it was my first adult relationship, the first woman who could have been "the one" and when we broke up all I concentrated on was trying to get her back. Looking back was that completely the worst thing I could have done. Not because we really should have stayed together, but because I moped on what I didn't have instead of what I did and who I was. It's easy to look back with 20/20 vision, but at the time I was not thinking straight.

You've gone through a significant part of your life with her, so you're going to feel a loss. But playing a mind game right now is not going to get you anywhere - that advice is for people trying to defensively protect their egos after a burn.

Nobody can dispense a prescription for this based on three paragraphs. They don't know the three years you've had with her, what your personalities and needs are. How you've grown together and apart since then. I do think that through college people grow a lot and often grow differently. That's just reality. I would just offer the general tips to be honest, with her and with yourself. And try to surround yourself with as many close friends and supporters as you can. If she was your best friend (or the person you shared all your daily news with) you should keep yourself communicating with other close people to mitigate that loss of personal bond. and try not to make everything about her and what you no longer have. Also, each day it will get easier. It might only get a fraction of a percent easier each day but it does get easier.

Good luck

Oh yeah, and don't be this guy...

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-li...nise-show/2527

Pushead2 · 01-04-2011, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MOhillbilly

the new ink to hardcore for her?

perhaps....

Fat Elvis · 01-04-2011, 10:23 AM

Sorry about what happened and sorry for the heartache, but...What do you have to offer her? Seriously. From the sound of your OP, it seems like you were a whiny twit riding her coat-tails. She is getting a Ph.D. and in all likelihood will be moving to another part of the country. Why would she want to be tied down to you? It seems like you are the one who is afraid of being lonely and she has no problem being alone; there is a HUGE difference between between lonely and being alone. You've been with her for three years, you haven't proposed and you don't live together; I don't blame her for dumping you. You were using her. You may not agree with that statement, but if you don't understand it, you have a real clue as to why you are now newly single. If you don't know whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with someone after a couple of years, it ain't gonna happen. She cut bait and moved on without you.

ClevelandBronco · 01-04-2011, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R8ers

Who paid for her schooling?

This you should tattoo on her. Unless she or her parents or the taxpayer paid for it.

**Gonzo** · 01-04-2011, 10:24 AM

That sucks man.
Always remember:
It's a short trip from pursuing your true love to stalking. Good luck bro.
Posted via Mobile Device

Pushead2 · 01-04-2011, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TinyEvel

Sorry to hear that dude, I went through a pretty tough breakup in college, it was my first adult relationship, the first woman who could have been "the one" and when we broke up all I concentrated on was trying to get her back. Looking back was that completely the worst thing I could have done. Not because we really should have stayed together, but because I moped on what I didn't have instead of what I did and who I was. It's easy to look back with 20/20 vision, but at the time I was not thinking straight.

You've gone through a significant part of your life with her, so you're going to feel a loss. But playing a mind game right now is not going to get you anywhere - that advice is for people trying to defensively protect their egos after a burn.

Nobody can dispense a prescription for this based on three paragraphs. They don't know the three years you've had with her, what your personalities and needs are. How you've grown together and apart since then. I do think that through college people grow a lot and often grow differently. That's just reality. I would just offer the general tips to be honest, with her and with yourself. And try to surround yourself with as many close friends and supporters as you can. If she was your best friend (or the person you shared all your daily news with) you should keep yourself communicating with other close people to mitigate that loss of personal bond. and try not to make everything about her and what you no longer have. Also, each day it will get easier. It might only get a fraction of a percent easier each day but it does get easier.

Good luck

Oh yeah, and don't be this guy...

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-li...nise-show/2527

I agree, I was in a band when I was 18 & 19 so I didn't start college til late. I am still only 26 just wanted to clear it up. Not thinking I'm 20 or 21.

**gblowfish** · 01-04-2011, 10:28 AM

I was on the verge of getting engaged when I was in grad school. We broke up. Probably a good thing because I'm sure I'd be paying alimony now.

Been married for 15 years to the right girl who came around afterwards.

FAX · 01-04-2011, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod

at the "ignore everything you read here" post, backed up by six more numbered paragraphs.

Yeah.

Ignore my rubber band deal and the train thing? Then immediately dive into 3 pages of single-spaced, detailed excerpts from the love boat operations manual?

Not fair, dude. Not fair, at all.

FAX

01-04-2011, 07:55 AM
Pushead2 **** off Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: New York Casino cash: $7431882	GF of 3 years left me yesterday.... She's going for her PhD, it takes up a lot of her time & I felt a tad bit neglected. I know it's tough for her as it is but I told her how I felt. She told me in response that she loves me to death but doesn't feel the same about being in love with me anymore..... I'm still young & I've left a long relationship (4 years) before but this was different. She was more than my gf but my best friend too.....I was planning on proposing to her later this year but that's clearly out the window. I'm getting 50/50 opinions from people on if I should just let her be & move on or fight for the girl I love / my best friend. She was all torn up hysterically crying last night when the conversation was going on.....Don't know, felt like I needed to air it out to a different crowd than my friends. What y'all think?
Posts: 5,193

01-04-2011, 09:55 AM	#77
Frazod WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $3215085	at the "ignore everything you read here" post, backed up by six more numbered paragraphs.
Posts: 119,482

01-04-2011, 09:59 AM	#78
trndobrd 'Stachecicle Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: The Tolerance Box Casino cash: $5025087	Why were you planning on proposing to her later this year? Were you seriously going to do it and if so, why where you waiting? __________________ "I don't really think there is a need to raise or debate this point." -jAZ
Posts: 7,074

01-04-2011, 10:08 AM	#80
MOhillbilly Mama Tried Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Missouri Casino cash: $9949903	the new ink to hardcore for her? __________________ True Son of Liberty
Posts: 23,371

01-04-2011, 10:19 AM	#82
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $4818454	You'll eventually figure out that you were probably "content" not "happy". there is a difference. Move on from the drama....she's likely humping her lab partner who "understands" her.
Posts: 61,511

01-04-2011, 10:22 AM	#83
TinyEvel Just a li'l Evel Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Bald. Goatee. Jorts. Casino cash: $5477131	Sorry to hear that dude, I went through a pretty tough breakup in college, it was my first adult relationship, the first woman who could have been "the one" and when we broke up all I concentrated on was trying to get her back. Looking back was that completely the worst thing I could have done. Not because we really should have stayed together, but because I moped on what I didn't have instead of what I did and who I was. It's easy to look back with 20/20 vision, but at the time I was not thinking straight. You've gone through a significant part of your life with her, so you're going to feel a loss. But playing a mind game right now is not going to get you anywhere - that advice is for people trying to defensively protect their egos after a burn. Nobody can dispense a prescription for this based on three paragraphs. They don't know the three years you've had with her, what your personalities and needs are. How you've grown together and apart since then. I do think that through college people grow a lot and often grow differently. That's just reality. I would just offer the general tips to be honest, with her and with yourself. And try to surround yourself with as many close friends and supporters as you can. If she was your best friend (or the person you shared all your daily news with) you should keep yourself communicating with other close people to mitigate that loss of personal bond. and try not to make everything about her and what you no longer have. Also, each day it will get easier. It might only get a fraction of a percent easier each day but it does get easier. Good luck Oh yeah, and don't be this guy... http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-li...nise-show/2527
Posts: 11,800

01-04-2011, 10:23 AM	#85
Fat Elvis Sexiest Athlete Join Date: Apr 2001 Casino cash: $1591925	Sorry about what happened and sorry for the heartache, but...What do you have to offer her? Seriously. From the sound of your OP, it seems like you were a whiny twit riding her coat-tails. She is getting a Ph.D. and in all likelihood will be moving to another part of the country. Why would she want to be tied down to you? It seems like you are the one who is afraid of being lonely and she has no problem being alone; there is a HUGE difference between between lonely and being alone. You've been with her for three years, you haven't proposed and you don't live together; I don't blame her for dumping you. You were using her. You may not agree with that statement, but if you don't understand it, you have a real clue as to why you are now newly single. If you don't know whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with someone after a couple of years, it ain't gonna happen. She cut bait and moved on without you.
Posts: 12,382

01-04-2011, 10:24 AM	#87
Gonzo Stuff & Things Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Yukon Casino cash: $10126924	That sucks man. Always remember: It's a short trip from pursuing your true love to stalking. Good luck bro. Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 21,498

01-04-2011, 10:28 AM	#89
gblowfish Be Kind To Your Pets Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Glorious Independence, MO Casino cash: $17686178 VARSITY	I was on the verge of getting engaged when I was in grad school. We broke up. Probably a good thing because I'm sure I'd be paying alimony now. Been married for 15 years to the right girl who came around afterwards.
Posts: 40,830	1 0