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Old 08-02-2017, 09:58 PM  
oaklandhater oaklandhater is offline
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Black Tower Reviews Getting Slammed
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_dark_tower_2017



http://uproxx.com/movies/the-dark-tower-review/


This final product reminds me a lot of the GOP healthcare plan: You’ve had all this time and THIS is what you come up with? I can already picture John McCain strolling into a theater this weekend, giving a dramatic thumbs down, killing The Dark Tower forever.
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Old 08-03-2017, 02:29 PM   #16
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Tried to but Changing Ryan's Privates was still showing and we only have one screen.
Shaving Ryan's Privates was better.
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Old 08-03-2017, 02:36 PM   #17
frankotank frankotank is offline
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I thought it was 8 books.
I'm a King freak....and when I first heard about this...in one movie....as stated mucho....I thought...it simply can't work...can it?

I love Idris Elba...just a great great actor. not sure he can save this though.
and Mcconaughey as the dark man...walking dude...dang it.

I don't like when holly wood changes the basics of a character.
gunslinger is white...now he's black. will Susannah be white? will she have legs? gunslinger being black isn't a big deal but Susannah has GOT to be black! if you read the books....you know she gotta be black. will she even be in the movie? I've seen Jake in previews but not her. will there be Oy? I'ma hafta see it dang it.....turd or not.

they made gunslinger black. they made penguin gay on gotham (that really pised me off). they made a fantastic 4 with a black johnny storm....(white invisible girls brother no less).
whats next? Melissa McCarthy stars in The Color Puple II

I'll bet Kings IT will be chinese.
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Old 08-03-2017, 05:39 PM   #18
chiefs1111 chiefs1111 is offline
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This is a sequel to the books. Than being said... it is too complicated of a story to fit a movie format. Would have worked better under the original plan of a a combination of a TV series to fill in the backstory between feature films.
Apparently they are still going to do a TV show that will take place during The Wizard And Glass book.
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Old 08-04-2017, 12:06 AM   #19
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They needed to draw black people into this movie and black people hate stephen king (aww hell no is that the guy that did the shining? **** that) So they put Stringer as the Main guy but then when black people get to watching they can't have a black person without legs because blacks have lots of diabetes which leads to aunties and uncles having their legs cut off.
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Old 08-04-2017, 11:06 AM   #20
vailpass vailpass is offline
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I know nothing of the Black Tower stories but I do know that it's been nearly an impossible task to make it work on film. From my understanding, it would have been better served as a long form series on HBO, Netflix, etc.

I saw The Emoji Movie on Friday. While I can't put it in the same class as Pixar/Disney films or Boss Baby, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as reviewer make it seem.

Aggregate sites are going to kill film, just like it's killing journalism, if people let it.
I've read the series several times over and you are spot on. Questionable casting decisions aside there is simply no way to encapsulate the series in one showing. Maybe broken into sections like LOTR assuming any studio would ever budget that.
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Old 08-04-2017, 11:45 AM   #21
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They needed to draw black people into this movie and black people hate stephen king (aww hell no is that the guy that did the shining? **** that) So they put Stringer as the Main guy but then when black people get to watching they can't have a black person without legs because blacks have lots of diabetes which leads to aunties and uncles having their legs cut off.
What is happening with this post?
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Old 08-04-2017, 11:49 AM   #22
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One experiences Demonpenz. One does not decode Demonpenz.
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Old 08-04-2017, 11:50 AM   #23
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Penz is making me laugh, that's what.
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Old 08-04-2017, 04:12 PM   #24
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Classic penz.
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Old 08-05-2017, 02:47 AM   #25
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**** the reviews I liked it

Spoiler!
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Old 08-05-2017, 06:26 AM   #26
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Utter garbage
Saw it last night. I'm a huge King fan. I believe that The Dark Tower--plus all the overlaps in so many of his other books--makes up one of the best works ever written.

I know it's in vogue to bash King and say he's a mediocre writer, but I simply disagree. I think he's one of the best ever.

That said.... the movie is utter garbage. I was so disappointed. It's basically a Bruce Willis action flick with the names of characters from TDT.

Horrible. They could have done so much with the source material. It would have required several films to get it right, but I think they could have made a series that rivaled Lord of the Rings.

Instead, you leave the theater feeling like you just watched another mindless popcorn action flick.
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Old 08-05-2017, 08:53 AM   #27
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I've actually seen a couple of reviews that liked it.

I'm wondering if it plays better to someone who isn't a fan of the books and has never read them?
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Old 08-05-2017, 09:17 AM   #28
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Way to **** up another damn near sure-thing Sony.
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Old 08-05-2017, 10:46 AM   #29
Yosef_Malkovitch Yosef_Malkovitch is offline
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I've actually seen a couple of reviews that liked it.

I'm wondering if it plays better to someone who isn't a fan of the books and has never read them?
Probably.

If you can remove the thought of what could have been, and just watch it like you would watch any generic action film, it's OK. It still would not be a good film by any means--too many places the plot is not developed well, and too much glossing over some potentially great story developments, and the end feels very rushed, as if they just said, "Well, there's 90 minutes. Let's wrap this up."

But, I suppose if you don't think about it as The Dark Tower, it's an OK film. Worth a DVD rental or a dollar theater ticket (certainly not worth paying $11 for the price of admission).

But, knowing the depth and richness of the source material, and being fed this crap instead, is just terrible. It's like looking forward to a high-end steak dinner and being given a slightly-warm McDonald's burger instead. By itself, the burger is edible and might even be slightly tasty. But compared to what could have been.....
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Old 08-05-2017, 11:35 AM   #30
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Probably.

If you can remove the thought of what could have been, and just watch it like you would watch any generic action film, it's OK. It still would not be a good film by any means--too many places the plot is not developed well, and too much glossing over some potentially great story developments, and the end feels very rushed, as if they just said, "Well, there's 90 minutes. Let's wrap this up."

But, I suppose if you don't think about it as The Dark Tower, it's an OK film. Worth a DVD rental or a dollar theater ticket (certainly not worth paying $11 for the price of admission).

But, knowing the depth and richness of the source material, and being fed this crap instead, is just terrible. It's like looking forward to a high-end steak dinner and being given a slightly-warm McDonald's burger instead. By itself, the burger is edible and might even be slightly tasty. But compared to what could have been.....
Sounds like Dune.
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