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Old 01-15-2013, 05:13 PM  
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This Week's Important Florida News!

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.
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Old 09-22-2015, 12:50 PM   #451
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He kind of did to her what the Chiefs do to me during the playoffs.
Do they shove a bottle up your ass too? Asking for a friend
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Old 09-22-2015, 01:36 PM   #452
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Do they shove a bottle up your ass too? Asking for a friend
Only if I have been naughty.



Wait, what?!
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Old 09-23-2015, 12:06 PM   #453
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PENSACOLA, Fla. — A man who tried to shoot seven puppies was shot himself when one of the dogs put its paw on the revolver’s trigger.

Jerry Allen Bradford, 37, was being treated at a hospital for a gunshot wound to his wrist.

Bradford said he decided to shoot the 3-month-old shepherd-mix dogs in the head because he couldn’t find them a home, according to the sheriff’s office.

On Monday, Bradford was holding two puppies — one in his arms and another in his left hand — when the dog in his hand wiggled and put its paw on the trigger of the .38-caliber revolver. The gun then discharged, the sheriff’s report said.

Deputies found three of the puppies in a shallow grave outside Bradford’s home, said sheriff’s Sgt. Ted Roy.

The other four appeared to be in good health and were taken by Escambia County Animal Control, which planned to make them available for adoption.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/5950304/ns.../#.VgLo9ntNDfI
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Old 10-13-2015, 04:37 PM   #454
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Couple arrested for abusing elderly Mom

http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/32831025-story


She's quite the looker!
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Old 10-23-2015, 10:15 AM   #455
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http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/flor...defiler-657903

A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate-covered item to a store shelf, police report.

The repulsive episode occurred around 3 PM at a Walmart in Brooksville, a city 50 miles north of Tampa.

According to a police report, Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras.
After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

While Johnson fled the store before he could be apprehended by Walmart security, he was subsequently arrested by Brooksville Police Department officers. In a written statement, Johnson admitted that, “I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal.” Noting that he committed a “horrible act,” Johnson added, “I need to think before what I do. I’m extremely sorry.”

Johnson, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with indecent exposure and criminal mischief and booked into the Hernando County jail. He was released from custody at 9:45 tonight after posting $1500 bond.

The Walmart merchandise that came into contact with the reshelved stuffed animal was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale.
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Old 10-23-2015, 10:21 AM   #456
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Couple arrested for abusing elderly Mom

http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/32831025-story


She's quite the looker!
What the...? She must be getting ready for Movember.
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Old 10-23-2015, 10:26 AM   #457
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Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/flor...defiler-657903

A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate-covered item to a store shelf, police report.

The repulsive episode occurred around 3 PM at a Walmart in Brooksville, a city 50 miles north of Tampa.

According to a police report, Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras.
After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

While Johnson fled the store before he could be apprehended by Walmart security, he was subsequently arrested by Brooksville Police Department officers. In a written statement, Johnson admitted that, “I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal.” Noting that he committed a “horrible act,” Johnson added, “I need to think before what I do. I’m extremely sorry.”

Johnson, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with indecent exposure and criminal mischief and booked into the Hernando County jail. He was released from custody at 9:45 tonight after posting $1500 bond.

The Walmart merchandise that came into contact with the reshelved stuffed animal was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale.
God dammit! I shop at that ****ing store
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Old 10-23-2015, 10:38 AM   #458
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Originally Posted by Flachief58 View Post
Couple arrested for abusing elderly Mom

http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/32831025-story


She's quite the looker!
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Old 10-23-2015, 01:41 PM   #459
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Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/flor...defiler-657903

A Florida man today took a stuffed animal off a Walmart shelf and then used the toy to masturbate before returning the ejaculate-covered item to a store shelf, police report.

The repulsive episode occurred around 3 PM at a Walmart in Brooksville, a city 50 miles north of Tampa.

According to a police report, Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and “proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras.
After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

While Johnson fled the store before he could be apprehended by Walmart security, he was subsequently arrested by Brooksville Police Department officers. In a written statement, Johnson admitted that, “I did unmentionables to a stuffed animal.” Noting that he committed a “horrible act,” Johnson added, “I need to think before what I do. I’m extremely sorry.”

Johnson, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with indecent exposure and criminal mischief and booked into the Hernando County jail. He was released from custody at 9:45 tonight after posting $1500 bond.

The Walmart merchandise that came into contact with the reshelved stuffed animal was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale.
There was no sign that said I couldn't do that. Total bullshit.
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Old 10-23-2015, 03:46 PM   #460
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Originally Posted by Flachief58 View Post
Couple arrested for abusing elderly Mom

http://www.fox13news.com/news/local-news/32831025-story


She's quite the looker!
Yo mama so ugly she didn't grow a beard she grew an ugly muffler.
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Old 11-05-2015, 01:15 PM   #461
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Florida Uber driver arrested for exchanging ride in his vehicle for oral sex:police

An Uber driver was arrested in Florida after receiving oral sex from a woman in exchange for a ride.

Jason Lynch, 42, was spotted picking up a female passenger in a St. Petersburg area “known for prostitution activity,” police said.

And when cops swooped in on the car in a parking lot, he was spotted “receiving oral sex in his vehicle” from Elizabeth Santos, 41.

Lynch had his penis exposed in “full view of the public,” says the police report, according to The Smoking Gun.

When he was arrested, Lynch admitted that he asked Santos how she intended to pay for the journey, before agreeing to “exchange a ride in his vehicle for oral sex.”

Uber driver Lynch told cops that he had agreed to exchange a ride in his car for oral sex, according to the police report.
Both driver and passenger were arrested on prostitution and lewd and lascivious behavior counts.

Lynch was released from custody late Wednesday after posting $500 bond.

Santos, who was found guilty of prostitution in 2013, was charged with a felony for allegedly servicing Lynch.

She remains in jail and is being held in lieu of a $5,250 bond.

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Old 11-13-2015, 01:41 PM   #462
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http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/crime...-sex/75646104/

A man has been arrested after accidentally shooting a woman in the head while they were engaged in sexual activity.

Just before 2 a.m. on November 7, Tampa Police responded to a 911 call from Tyrone Fields*who said he shot Christina Meagher in the head at the Regency Inn and Suites on Church Avenue.

When police arrived they were met by Fields*and saw Meagher*on the bed with a gunshot wound to her head. She was transported to St. Joseph's Hospital where she later died from her injuries.

Fields admitted to shooting the victim but said it had been during "freaky sex" with Meagher and that he had only know her for two days. He says they were involved in a role-play scenario in which he put a gun to her head.

Fields said he removed the magazine from his handgun but forgot to remove the bullet from the chamber so when he intentionally pulled the trigger as part of the role-play, he fired a single round into the her head.

Motel surveillance video shows Fields and Meagher both*entering the motel room consensually. Also, sexual battery examination results appear to be negative for any injury consistent with sexual battery.
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Old 11-16-2015, 11:32 AM   #463
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"Hello 911? Bring me some chicken wings and cigarettes...I'm too drunk to drive."

http://www.fox9.com/news/48361578-story

CLERMONT, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) - Lake County deputies on Wednesday arrested a Clermont woman for improperly calling 911, wanting cigarettes and chicken wings. Deputies responded to an apartment complex after the Sheriff's Office received a 911 call from a woman who stated she would pass out if she didn't get the chicken wings and cigarettes.

The caller, 45-year-old Liann Watson, told responding deputies she had been drinking and was unable to drive. She said she decided she would call 911 to ask someone to bring her chicken wings and cigarettes. Watson was arrested for misuse of the 911 System.
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Old 11-16-2015, 05:45 PM   #464
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"Hello 911? Bring me some chicken wings and cigarettes...I'm too drunk to drive."

http://www.fox9.com/news/48361578-story

CLERMONT, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) - Lake County deputies on Wednesday arrested a Clermont woman for improperly calling 911, wanting cigarettes and chicken wings. Deputies responded to an apartment complex after the Sheriff's Office received a 911 call from a woman who stated she would pass out if she didn't get the chicken wings and cigarettes.

The caller, 45-year-old Liann Watson, told responding deputies she had been drinking and was unable to drive. She said she decided she would call 911 to ask someone to bring her chicken wings and cigarettes. Watson was arrested for misuse of the 911 System.
I've always been amazed at how people this stupid make it through life and get this far roaming free.
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Old 11-17-2015, 12:26 AM   #465
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Woman Battered Beau Over Sex Position Dispute

NOVEMBER 16--Meet Wendy Luper.

The 45-year-old Florida woman was arrested Saturday evening following an bizarre series of events that began with a trip to a storage unit with her ex-husband (with whom Luper has recently reunited).

According to cops, Luper and Michael Vaccaro--who were married for 12 years--drove together to retrieve some of his belongings from their storage unit in Bradenton.

While parked in the rear of the facility, “Luper got undressed, and asked Vaccaro if he wanted to have sexual intercourse,” police reported. “Vaccaro agreed, and told Luper to lay down.”

But Luper, a court filing notes, “did not want to have sexual intercourse in that position and stated no.” It is unclear where the pair was planning to tryst, or the position that was rejected by Luper

During a subsequent argument, Luper allegedly struck Vaccaro in the head with a thrown object. As Vaccaro sought to remove some of his belongings from the car’s rear seat, Luper allegedly accelerated the auto “with Vaccaro still half way inside the vehicle.” As Vaccaro “pulled out of the vehicle,” Luper drove over his right foot.

When cops arrived at the scene, Vaccaro was bleeding from a head wound and his right foot appeared to be swelling. After being contacted by police, Luper returned to the vicinity of the storage facility. “She was unable to explain” Vaccaro’s injuries, noted police, who added that she “stated Vaccaro wanted to have sex with her.”

Seen above, Luper, who works as a housekeeper, was arrested for domestic battery. She was booked into jail on the misdemeanor charge and released from custody yesterday after posting $750 bond.

Luper was busted in August for domestic battery after she allegedly punched Vaccaro in the face, neck, and arm after he ignored her request to do laundry. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the misdemeanor charge against Luper.
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