Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 23 - Dartgod versus threebag02

[Rain Man]

Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - In free-fall at 20,000 feet, wearing parachutes, and with a snake and gator-filled swamp below you.
Starting Distance - 21 feet

Dartgod

Main Weapon - Indian razorwhip (Urumi)
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 14 Minutes
Special Factors - Naked East Asian women are screaming and running around panicked (Organizer note: in this situation you may assume that they're also free falling and wearing parachutes.)

threebag02

Main Weapon - Baseball Bat with six nails studded into it
Backup Weapon - Bowie knife

Prep Time - 3 Minutes
Special Factors - You ate some really, really bad sushi the night before and are afflicted with a violent case of diarrhea

[DJ's left nut]

I went ThreeBag.

The odds overwhelmingly favor Dartgod cutting himself free from his own parachute trying to use that thing. Look at those videos - that ain't exactly a precision weapon, especially for someone that's just learned how to use it.

In free fall with all that adrenaline and trying to get a giant whippy object on target....nah. Dartgod's gonna cut his own risers or his lines and he's gonna end up getting eaten by gators as he pretty much free falls into a swamp.

[Eleazar]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

This is a very rare situation where diarrhea could actually be used as a weapon.

But you could just as easily blind yourself with it.

[Pasta Little Brioni]

No one is doing anything while parachuting Ridiculous

It's a ground battle in a swamp of gators. They are both dead. No one is using that sword whip thing without months of practice.

[threebag]

Originally Posted by Pasta Giant Meatball

No one is doing anything while parachuting Ridiculous

It's a ground battle in a swamp of gators. They are both dead. No one is using that sword whip thing without months of practice.

While he is wrapped up in his flimsy sword/whip I skydive in and Bowie knife the **** out of him. then the Asian whores and I can have a shitfest, shower shits for all

[threebag]

Originally Posted by Carr4MVP

The razor whip sword is difficult to master but he has plenty of time to figure it out.

Originally Posted by digger

Dartgod uses Indian razorwhipon threebag02's parachute, game over.

Originally Posted by TLO

Dartgod in a blowout

Originally Posted by Dartgod

He's not surviving this.

Originally Posted by Dartgod

I can destroy his parachute before he even deploys it with that thing.

Originally Posted by Dartgod

77.78% of the voting public believe that it is.

Originally Posted by threebag02

bullshit

[Coochie liquor]

It seems like whoever wins the match will immediately lose to the swamp full of gators...

[Valiant]

That sword is worthless in in the air. Freefall more worthless. Could not control parachute with it. Would cut rope.

Both contestants die in the swamp though.

[Dartgod]

I'm the one in the blue suit. Threebag is the unfortunate sap that ends up with no parachute.

[threebag]

Originally Posted by Dartgod

I'm the one in the blue suit. Threebag is the unfortunate sap that ends up with no parachute.

Monkey Wrench for a back up weapon?

[Rain Man]

When the fanboats arrive at the landing spot out in the swamp, Dartgod is fighting off gators with the urumi and threebag02 is nowhere to be found. Rescuers did find the baseball bat, though, which will go up on Dartgod's wall as he moves to Round 2.

[threebag]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

When the fanboats arrive at the landing spot out in the swamp, Dartgod is fighting off gators with the urumi and threebag02 is nowhere to be found. Rescuers did find the baseball bat, though, which will go up on Dartgod's wall as he moves to Round 2.

That's the shits

[Iowanian]

This has it all....Weaponized diarrhea....free fall skydive, whips, bats, crazy women screaming(just like real fights)

Once the chute opens, dartgod can swing the razor whip, cut some of the chords on 3bag's chute and he spirals to his pending dent in the ground.

[srvy]

Originally Posted by threebag02

That's the shits

Hey no lip from the dead guy!

[kccrow]

A razorwhip against a parachute? Ez...


Edit... Assuming both have a difficult time landing blows during free fall where no weapon is all that great... threebag only really has an opportunity to whip the bowie knife and hope like hell for a hit. The razor whip has a much greater reach so the likelihood dart can land a blow is greater. that said, I'd think it'll come down to when they deploy chutes... threebag can only really try to hit the chute itself but dart can go for the cords from further away... I can't fathom how 3bag wins this.