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Old 01-15-2013, 05:13 PM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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This Week's Important Florida News!

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.
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Old 07-09-2013, 09:55 AM   #166
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No, but I bet the guy that fried the hamster is a fun dude to hang out with.
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Old 07-09-2013, 10:12 AM   #167
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Originally Posted by tooge View Post
No, but I bet the guy that fried the hamster is a fun dude to hang out with.
Probably makes a great hamster and cheese sandwich.
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Old 07-09-2013, 01:36 PM   #168
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Police say they caught a robber in Lady Lake, Fla., taking jewelry and a nap.

Domonique Pinkard, 21, was allegedly asleep on the couch of a residence on Winners Circle when the homeowner walked into the living room, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

The homeowner called the cops, who determined that Pinkard and his accomplice, 20-year-old Julian Evangelist, kicked in the back door around 7:30 a.m. Pinkard then conked out on the sofa while Evangelist allegedly made off with a TV. Evangelist, it seems, failed to wake up his his partner in crime.

Investigators say Pinkard told them he'd been "working hard all day and he just needed to sit down for a moment, and evidently, he fell asleep," according to WESH.

Police also say they found an estimated $500 worth of the victim's jewelry in Pinkard's pockets, according to NBC Miami. Other items, including clothing and electronics, were allegedly found at Evangelist's home.

Both men were jailed on charges of burglary and grand theft.
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Old 07-09-2013, 02:17 PM   #169
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
Police say they caught a robber in Lady Lake, Fla., taking jewelry and a nap.

Domonique Pinkard, 21, was allegedly asleep on the couch of a residence on Winners Circle when the homeowner walked into the living room, the Orlando Sentinel reported.

The homeowner called the cops, who determined that Pinkard and his accomplice, 20-year-old Julian Evangelist, kicked in the back door around 7:30 a.m. Pinkard then conked out on the sofa while Evangelist allegedly made off with a TV. Evangelist, it seems, failed to wake up his his partner in crime.

Investigators say Pinkard told them he'd been "working hard all day and he just needed to sit down for a moment, and evidently, he fell asleep," according to WESH.

Police also say they found an estimated $500 worth of the victim's jewelry in Pinkard's pockets, according to NBC Miami. Other items, including clothing and electronics, were allegedly found at Evangelist's home.

Both men were jailed on charges of burglary and grand theft.
Hey gb... just curious why you don't include the link? Why not give the reporting station some love and potential clicks for the story?
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Old 07-09-2013, 02:45 PM   #170
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy! View Post
Hey gb... just curious why you don't include the link? Why not give the reporting station some love and potential clicks for the story?
Here ya go: http://tinyurl.com/myjo95x
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Old 07-09-2013, 06:45 PM   #171
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If all the FL CP members stop posting we know why.....

http://games.yahoo.com/blogs/plugged...163211435.html

Quote:
Florida may have accidentally banned computers and smartphones
By Chris Morris

Got a laptop or an iPhone in Florida? You could be violating the law.

In an attempt to ban Internet cafes in the Sunshine State, legislators may have been a bit too broad in their language, resulting in what some legal experts say is a law that inadvertently makes it illegal to own a computer or a smartphone.

The bill, which was signed into law by Florida governor Rick Scott in April, was meant to shut down cafes, some of which have been tied to illegal gambling in the state. And shut them down it did: over 1,000 cafes were immediately closed.

But it's the wording that's problematic, as it defines a slot machine as "any machine or device or system or network of devices" that can be used in games of chance. Turns out the Internet is full of gambling sites, which is where the definition runs into some problems.

Consuelo Zapata, owner of the Miami-Dade county Internet cafe Incredible Investments, LLC, is suing the state to overturn the ban, saying that definition is too broad and could be applied to any number of electronic devices.

Zapata and her legal team contend the bill was created and written in kneejerk fashion after a charity group associated with Florida Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll was shut down on suspicion of being an Internet gambling front, leading to her resignation.

"The Florida Legislature rushed to pass broad-sweeping amendments to existing statutes that violate the United States Constitution in a frenzy fueled by distorted judgment in the wake of a scandal that included the Lieutenant Governor’s resignation," the complaint reads.

If Zapata's accusations are correct, that puts Florida at the top of the list of wacky online laws passed in the past 18 months.

Last April, Arizona updated its telecommunications harassment bill to target cyberbullies, but the language -- which used such broad words as "annoy" and "offend" -- basically made it a Class 1 misdemeanor to troll someone on a message board.

One month later, New York tried something similar, proposing legislation that would legally force you to identify yourself if someone didn't like your comment on a Web site, essentially banning anonymous online comments.

The Arizona bill was reworded, while New York's quietly died.
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Old 07-14-2013, 08:57 AM   #172
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http://fox4kc.com/2013/07/13/man-arr...acebook-photo/

NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla. — An alleged Florida fugitive was caught by authorities after the Pasco Sheriff’s Office posted his “wanted” photo on their Facebook page and the man commented on it.

Matthew Oliver saw his photo and began to defend himself in a series of comments, WTSP-TV reported.

“Matthew Oliver if you would like to discuss your active warrant, please call the Fugitive Warrants Unit at 813-235-6064,” a reply post from the Pasco Sheriff’s Office said.

However, Oliver didn’t call and instead kept commenting. He was later arrested after officers were waiting for him outside his apartment.
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Old 07-17-2013, 09:34 AM   #173
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Cops: Woman, 25, Left Her Two Little Kids In Car While She Attended Lil Wayne Concert

A Florida woman left her two young children--ages five and three--unattended in her car for several hours while she attended a Lil Wayne concert last night, cops report.
Brittany Harris, 25, was arrested on a pair of child neglect charges after the children were left unsupervised in a parking lot at the South Florida Fairgrounds,according to a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office report.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/...concert-698432



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Old 07-17-2013, 11:12 AM   #174
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Florida woman accused of shoplifting throws her baby at deputy.

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/flo...8/-/index.html

Didn't the deputy know, when someone throws a baby, you swat it to the ground.
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:57 PM   #175
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A Florida man has been charged with child abuse and battery after allegedly choking a teenage driver who gave him the middle finger.

Edward L. Lepore, of Palm Bay, was arrested around 4:30 p.m. Thursday, according to Florida Today.

Police say Lepore, 57, got into an argument with the 16-year-old boy, and the teen wound up flipping him off and driving away. Lepore then allegedly tailed the boy in his car until the teen pulled over, according to WOFL Fox 35.
Lepore got out of his vehicle and approached the window. The victim asked why he was being followed. That's when Lepore allegedly reached in through the window and strangled the boy for a few seconds.

The teen suffered minor injuries, according to WESH.
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Old 07-18-2013, 02:43 PM   #176
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Too obvious to say he should have tailed him then shot him?
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Old 07-18-2013, 02:59 PM   #177
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tubby Florida man shoots unarmed teen that was out to get a bag of candy
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Old 07-18-2013, 05:50 PM   #178
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Originally Posted by RippedmyFlesh View Post
Cops: Woman, 25, Left Her Two Little Kids In Car While She Attended Lil Wayne Concert

A Florida woman left her two young children--ages five and three--unattended in her car for several hours while she attended a Lil Wayne concert last night, cops report.
Brittany Harris, 25, was arrested on a pair of child neglect charges after the children were left unsupervised in a parking lot at the South Florida Fairgrounds,according to a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office report.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/...concert-698432

There's a goofy Chiefs fan who wears a red darth vader costume to the stadium trolling for free tickets. One guy offered him a single a couple years back and then took it back when Red Vader indicated he was going to leave his young son in the car for the game.
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Old 07-19-2013, 10:32 AM   #179
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Strike tree, she's out!

Police say Veronica Doctor, 45, was attempting to run over her ex-boyfriend with her car -- but she crashed into a tree instead, the Miami Herald reported.

The Hollywood, Fla. woman drove to the home of her ex, 24-year-old Eliezer Alce, at around 2 a.m. Tuesday morning. Alce refused to come outside until he noticed Doctor was driving around in circles on his lawn.

The two got into an argument over Doctor allegedly driving drunk, according to WINK News. Alce told deputies that when he tried to walk away, his ex pursued him in her car and crashed into a tree as he jumped out of the way.

Police and emergency responders got to the house 15 minutes later, CBS Tampa reported. Medics say that Doctor was drunk, with a BAC of .259.

She is charged with aggravated assault and driving under the influence.
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Old 07-22-2013, 12:40 PM   #180
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If you assault your roommate because he changed the radio station, eventually you'll have to face the music.

Police say Josue Rodriguez, 40, attacked his roommate with a machete because the roommate changed the radio station, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported.

Rodriguez was allegedly taking a shower in his Lake Worth home when he heard the radio station change. When he confronted his roommate, the man gave him a push. In response, cops say, Rodriguez grabbed a nearby machete and began whacking at his roommate, hitting him in the cheek.
The roommate managed to get away and called 911. In the police cruiser, police say Rodriguez told them "I only had the machete because I was going to sleep in the woods for the night."

No word on what radio station the roommate made the mistake of choosing, but the wrong tunes have definitely driven people over the edge before.

In April, a Colorado woman was accused of assaulting her boyfriend after he played Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" 25 times in a row.

In October, a Florida man allegedly hit his boyfriend in the face with a plate because he listened to too much Alanis Morrissette.
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