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Old 01-23-2014, 09:52 PM  
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Late night bullshit: Ask me anything.
I am having a really, really shitty week. It has left me pretty shaken personally, and I'm not sure what my immediate or long-term future holds.

Because I've had such a bad pair of days (and the last eight months in general have really ****ed me up the ass), I need you guys to cheer me up.

Ask me anything. I promise you I will answer. (Unless I decide not to -- but I will really, really try not to do that.)

Everything's in bounds, with one exception: please don't ask me anything about why I've had a rough go of it, recently. Though I've already posted about one of the things that's happened, minor as it may be in the grand scheme of things.

I just need to be distracted with the alternatingly pleasant, weird, ball-busting, shit-shooting essense of ChiefsPlanet.

I started one of these threads a few years ago when things were pretty dark back then, and CP lifted my spirits. I once again am facing some pretty dark times. So let's make this one less direct and as assinine as we usually are.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:49 PM   #76
Saul Good Saul Good is offline
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Originally Posted by Katipan View Post
It was a horribly offensive joke about which Asians work in nail salons.
Mildly offensive Asian occupation jokes involve nail salons. Horribly offensive Asian occupation jokes involve railroads.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:49 PM   #77
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Originally Posted by KC Tattoo View Post
Will the Chiefs ever win another Super Bowl?

Playoff game even?
I don't know about anything beyond my lifetime.

My guess is, the Chiefs will not win a Super Bowl in my life.

They'll win three or four playoff games, though.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:50 PM   #78
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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If you were forced to live on ac deserted island for one year and could only take one item besides clothing with you, what would that item be?
Probably the Bible. Honest answer.

Most interesting book I've ever read.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:51 PM   #79
Cephalic Trauma Cephalic Trauma is offline
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What's the most effective way of washing one's semen out of cat hair?

I'm asking for a friend.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:51 PM   #80
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Originally Posted by Pestilence View Post
Would you eat a homeless man's turd for $500k?
God, that's very tough.

...

Probably.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:51 PM   #81
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
Um, it depends on the company. I prefer barbacoa burritos from Chipotle.

I'm really conflicted about eating meat these days, though. Factory farms are moral atrocities, in my opinion.

I drink a ****ton of water. It's all I have in my fridge, along with one beer I'm saving for a special day.

My stools haven't been the normal gargantuans I normally churn out. I've had frequent poops that are small and squishy -- I honestly think I'm a bit ill right now.
me too - I've had a darker stool as of the last few days and a stomach bug - but they're improving in aesthetics, daily, now.

Also - please stay away from processed foods, that's what is giving you the good shits.

Trader Joes meat is fairly good - and it's cheap and hormone free. - just a side note.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:52 PM   #82
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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You seem like a cool dude, and I always appreciate your posts.

You've got a good heart, and it shines through on here. You can feel, and are sensitive. I wish there were more like us in the world.

You are also logistics-focused and rely on analytics when strategizing, which I do as well.

I identify with you.

You are appreciated and I hope you are able to push through these temporary issues and land on your feet. In fact, I know you will.
Ah, Dante. You're a good man. Thanks for the well wishing.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:52 PM   #83
LoneWolf LoneWolf is online now
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Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
Probably the Bible. Honest answer.

Most interesting book I've ever read.
So you're a big fan of fiction/Dave Lane.

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Old 01-23-2014, 10:53 PM   #84
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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Originally Posted by Cephalic Trauma View Post
What's the most effective way of washing one's semen out of cat hair?

I'm asking for a friend.
My guess is: it will involve another cat.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:53 PM   #85
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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My last question - so take advantage of it.

I may bump this tomorrow (undecided)

but -

If someone held a gun to you and forced you to pick a fast food burger, which establishment would you go with and which sandwich selection(s) off of their menu would you get?
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:56 PM   #86
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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me too - I've had a darker stool as of the last few days and a stomach bug - but they're improving in aesthetics, daily, now.

Also - please stay away from processed foods, that's what is giving you the good shits.

Trader Joes meat is fairly good - and it's cheap and hormone free. - just a side note.
Excellent advice, thank you, on those last two points. Noted.

I received, for Christmas, half a cow in my deep freeze. Not even shitting you.

A friend of the family has a small farm of less than a dozen cows that he raises naturally and free range. So that helps some with my cognitive dissonance of hating factory farming yet loving meat.

But factory farms are just absolutely brutal to think about. The easy thing is to avoid thinking about them. But that's not the moral thing to do.

I'll stop there. I don't want to turn this into a political discussion.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:57 PM   #87
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
God, that's very tough.

...

Probably.
Dude.....no worries. I would as well.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:58 PM   #88
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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So you're a big fan of fiction/Dave Lane.



You gotta think about it.

It'll need to be something that will take a very long time to read, and involve insane amounts of details that invite meaning, debate, and propositions that you can freely dismiss or accept as you go.

Can't help but think that'd occupy me for the longest amount of time.

Before I starve, of course, and start eating it.
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Old 01-23-2014, 10:58 PM   #89
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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Originally Posted by Direckshun View Post
Excellent advice, thank you, on those last two points. Noted.

I received, for Christmas, half a cow in my deep freeze. Not even shitting you.

A friend of the family has a small farm of less than a dozen cows that he raises naturally and free range. So that helps some with my cognitive dissonance of hating factory farming yet loving meat.

But factory farms are just absolutely brutal to think about. The easy thing is to avoid thinking about them. But that's not the moral thing to do.

I'll stop there. I don't want to turn this into a political discussion.
Great ok - one more - you're forced to stay in a dome tent for 48 hrs with one of the following CP'ers - who do you pick?

-Blue Balls

-Kirstie Tynes Boo

-Salame

-RedRum_69 ... ??
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Old 01-23-2014, 11:00 PM   #90
Direckshun Direckshun is offline
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My last question - so take advantage of it.

I may bump this tomorrow (undecided)

but -

If someone held a gun to you and forced you to pick a fast food burger, which establishment would you go with and which sandwich selection(s) off of their menu would you get?
I would advise that you not bump it. But it's a free country.

I'd definitely get a double-quarterpounder from McDonald's.

I grew up eating waaaay too much McDonald's. It's my guilty shame.

I still fight it on a weekly basis, avoiding that place. It's ****ing impossible.

I just want a goddamn french fry. But then I want the whole value meal. It's terrible.
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