-- Can I level with you all?

[Simply Red]

Hey Guys,

I am not a big attention whore - and I realize that it's risky to post threads like this. But I have a big secret that I've kept to myself for quite sometime. I have a bad problem (for maybe the last 2-3 months) with major depression.

Last night wasn't good at all - I literally felt like I could have died. I was having sweats, uncontrolled emotional breakdowns and other things that I'm not quite ready to discuss.

Sometimes I wonder if the fact that I had quit drinking without assistance such as AA is part of it and if it would have been a better transition than simply cold-turkey. There's a term called a 'dry drunk' - where the person who'd kicked the habit still has some of the same issues with personality etc etc... I recently had another bad break up - I've gone through enough women in the last two yrs - where I'm starting to wonder if it's me. Nothing seems to last over a month or two.

I need to find some help - but as a business owner it's so hard to find extra time. My social life COULD be much better - but not drinking puts a damper on any 'normal' social mediums - most others use. As well as it's just not the same attending a bar's happy hour sober or at least not in the same relaxed mind set - others are in.

I really don't want to be alone. Man isn't designed to be alone & I've reached a point I'm ready to love and sex can and will be somewhat secondary - I'm just ready to have something normal in my life, again.

Anyhow - I'd appreciate it if you had some serious input - jokes are fine too - but I'm not joking and I've been seriously struggling.

I have decent looks, I'm responsible and I have a nice job. So I wonder all of the time "WTF?"

It's not meeting women that's hard - but it's keeping them around.


Ty again you all are the best!

[TLO]

Simply Red,

I'm young, but I've delt with anxiety, depression, and OCD my entire life. I remember it started in second or third grade. I washed my hands so often that they they were so red and raw that they would frequently bleed.

This lead to what I could only describe as hypervillagance about my health. I assumed every headache was a brain tumor. My chest hurt - I figured had heart problems, and would soon die of a heart attack.

I delt with this for a number of years before finally going to a doctor when I was a freshman in HS, and they diagnosed me with depression and OCD.

I've been on a few different medications, some of which have greatly helped me.

I've been having a really difficult time myself as of late. It's scary to me that I don't feel as excited about the Royals being in the world series as I feel like I should. I'm also somewhat relieved to know that what I am feeling is depression, and that it will get better.

I'm sorry, I'm kind of rambling and probably not making a lot of sesne. I would encourage you to at least give the medication route a try. Depression can be beaten - but you have to take the time, and put in the effort to beat it.

[Simply Red]

thanks again guys - I have to go for now - i'll check back later on.

[TLO]

Oh, and I currently take Effexor, Trazodone, and can take some Xanax if I start having a particularly bad panic attack.

[MTG#10]

Avoid medication at all costs. For most people it takes 2-3 tries to find the right one that works. And you have to give them at least 30 days before you know if they're helping or not. In the meantime if the one you're on isn't the right one it can make your depression worse.

The best thing you can do is counseling along with a healthy diet and exercise. You seem nice, good luck.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

Originally Posted by loochy

Well guess what. You have to MAKE time. If you don't, things might get to the point where you aren't a business owner anymore.

Get on this NOW, not later.

This.

[stumppy]

Like 505 said, RECOVERY FIRST.
Putting any effort at all in to any type of relationship, extracurricular social life or anything other than getting your head on straight is cheating yourself and being completely dishonest with anyone you try and have a relationship with.

The way I look at it is we all need to build our lives on a solid foundation. From what little I know about you it sounds like you've done a good job of that in certain parts of your life but you still need to work on other parts. Put your time and effort into having a complete, solid foundation in all parts of your life and what you seek will come.
And remember, the problems you're having didn't just spring up over night so don't expect to fix them over night.
Hope that helps.

PS I'm much better at having a real conversation than I am at posting. If you want to talk send me a PM. I've dealt with and deal with some of the same problems you're having. Be glad to help if I can.

[Fritz88]

Don't go back to drinking. That's first.

Secondly, I would recommend seeing a professional. There's nothing wrong with that and it does help a lot. A good one can make a big positive change in your life. Search for a good ones in your area. Don't just go to anyone.

What causes these moments of depression? Is it a previous experience that triggers it? Is it something that is - as you mentioned- a byproduct of quitting cold turkey?

Most importantly, continue being busy in your life. Things can get worse if you have more free time.

You are good peeps SR. I am sure the most on this board love you. Having a companion is really important, but it's not the end of the world.

All the best.

[Silock]

Go see a therapist. Seriously.

[Steron]

Originally Posted by Big Smoke

Oh, and I currently take Effexor, Trazodone, and can take some Xanax if I start having a particularly bad panic attack.

Not to derail but do you get the 'brain zaps' if you miss a dose of your Effexor?

[TLO]

Originally Posted by Steron

Not to derail but do you get the 'brain zaps' if you miss a dose of your Effexor?

You're goddamn right I do.

I've been gradually trying to taper off my effexor dose. I've been on 225mg for a couple years now.

The brain zaps have been absolutely awful. Worst side effect ever.

[vailpass]

Originally Posted by MTG#10

Avoid medication at all costs. For most people it takes 2-3 tries to find the right one that works. And you have to give them at least 30 days before you know if they're helping or not. In the meantime if the one you're on isn't the right one it can make your depression worse.

The best thing you can do is counseling along with a healthy diet and exercise. You seem nice, good luck.

See your point but there are a lot of people who function do much better with the right meds...

[Pepe Silvia]

I've been battling depression as well, I know how this feels and it ****ing sucks.

[Sweet Daddy Hate]

I struggle with irritability.

[RINGLEADER]

Originally Posted by Silock

Go see a therapist. Seriously.

This is good advice.

[Steron]

Originally Posted by Big Smoke

You're goddamn right I do.

I've been gradually trying to taper off my effexor dose. I've been on 225mg for a couple years now.

The brain zaps have been absolutely awful. Worst side effect ever.

I was on 75mg once a day. Now I'm on 150mg once a day. If I miss, the brain zaps happen. Horrific side effect. If I missed on Lexapro and Cymbalta I just got sort of dizzy and 'off' toward the end of the day. Dizzy is much better than the zaps.