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Old 01-15-2013, 05:13 PM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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This Week's Important Florida News!

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.
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Old 05-26-2016, 10:30 AM   #556
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ's left nut View Post
Yeah, this one's actually pretty unfortunate if you dig into it a bit.

The girl was an adopted runaway that had been rescued from a sex trafficking ring that she spent years in during her early teens. She's mostly just so mentally damaged at this point that she has no concept of 'established' sexual mores. And at it's core, the story is more along the lines of 'damaged girl bangs a dude she has a crush on, asshole guy brings a bunch of dudes into the stall to watch'.

Pretty shitty to go too far down the road on this one, IMO.


Missed this post earlier. Very sad.
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Old 05-26-2016, 10:46 AM   #557
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DJ's left nut View Post
Yeah, this one's actually pretty unfortunate if you dig into it a bit.

The girl was an adopted runaway that had been rescued from a sex trafficking ring that she spent years in during her early teens. She's mostly just so mentally damaged at this point that she has no concept of 'established' sexual mores. And at it's core, the story is more along the lines of 'damaged girl bangs a dude she has a crush on, asshole guy brings a bunch of dudes into the stall to watch'.

Pretty shitty to go too far down the road on this one, IMO.
That changes the story tremendously. Wonder if the 25 dudes knew that?

from a practical standpoint, why would you want to be #22nd in a gangbang?
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Old 05-26-2016, 10:52 AM   #558
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Originally Posted by BigRedChief View Post
That changes the story tremendously. Wonder if the 25 dudes knew that?

from a practical standpoint, why would you want to be #22nd in a gangbang?
Mostly I hope they all end up with herpes and largely don't give a shit what they knew.
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Old 05-26-2016, 10:53 AM   #559
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigRedChief View Post
That changes the story tremendously. Wonder if the 25 dudes knew that?

from a practical standpoint, why would you want to be #22nd in a gangbang?
What is happening with high school aged children today that they can actually watch a girl having sex with their friends and teammates, in a bathroom nonetheless, and no one reports it to the school administrators?

Not one of the 25 says to himself "This is ****ed up shit"?
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Old 05-26-2016, 10:54 AM   #560
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Originally Posted by DJ's left nut View Post
Mostly I hope they all end up with herpes and largely don't give a shit what they knew.
The parents of the 25 have done a horrible job of parenting.

Absolutely atrocious.
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Old 05-26-2016, 10:54 AM   #561
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List of Band Names based on Florida News:

Cats Downloading Porn
Kool Aid, Burgers, Weed & The Gang
Cocaine Butt
Where Should I Pee?
Sex Doll Threesome
Beg Me To Stop
Mall Evacuation
Strip Club Flu Shot
40 Minute Beating
Donkey Attack!
Fine Young Cannibal Puppeteers
Airing Out The Penis
Not Homeless Need Boobs
Flaming Lingerie
Hot Snakes
The Herpes-Infected Monkees (cover band)
Swimming Naked with Gators
Taser Me, Bro!
Ate Too Much Food
Zombie Nudists
Rage Against the Potato Salad
Flaccid Rubber Penises
I’m Guilty Arrest Me!
Harry Buttocks & the Golf Balls
Life-size Justin Bieber
Motorcycle Boogeymen
Nipple Bite
Assaulted with Butter
The Watermelon Dispute
Buy Grandpa a Hooker
Ferris Wheel Named Bruce
Kangaroo Chase
Squirrel Inside My Shirt
Too Fat for Jail
Lawn Mower DUI
Steal My Pooch
Airborne Fish
Orgy Gone Wrong
Blunt & The Herbs
The Monkey Punchers
The Alligator Traders
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Old 05-26-2016, 11:06 AM   #562
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
List of Band Names based on Florida News:

Cats Downloading Porn
Kool Aid, Burgers, Weed & The Gang
Cocaine Butt
Where Should I Pee?
Sex Doll Threesome
Beg Me To Stop
Mall Evacuation
Strip Club Flu Shot
40 Minute Beating
Donkey Attack!
Fine Young Cannibal Puppeteers
Airing Out The Penis
Not Homeless Need Boobs
Flaming Lingerie
Hot Snakes
The Herpes-Infected Monkees (cover band)
Swimming Naked with Gators
Taser Me, Bro!
Ate Too Much Food
Zombie Nudists
Rage Against the Potato Salad
Flaccid Rubber Penises
I’m Guilty Arrest Me!
Harry Buttocks & the Golf Balls
Life-size Justin Bieber
Motorcycle Boogeymen
Nipple Bite
Assaulted with Butter
The Watermelon Dispute
Buy Grandpa a Hooker
Ferris Wheel Named Bruce
Kangaroo Chase
Squirrel Inside My Shirt
Too Fat for Jail
Lawn Mower DUI
Steal My Pooch
Airborne Fish
Orgy Gone Wrong
Blunt & The Herbs
The Monkey Punchers
The Alligator Traders
I really like The Watermelon Dispute. The have some sick jams!
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Old 06-01-2016, 10:34 AM   #563
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At least 2 dead and nearly 60 others hospitalized after Florida music festival

Oh those crazy white kids and their drugs!

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/06/01...-festival.html

At least two people died and 57 more were hospitalized after attending a music festival in Florida over the weekend, authorities said Tuesday.

Tampa police said in a news release that a 22-year-old Melbourne man and a 21-year-old Kissimmee woman were hospitalized Saturday after attending the Sunset Music Festival at Raymond James Stadium. The man died Sunday and the woman died Monday.

According to Fox 13 News, an investigation was underway to determine the cause of the deaths and the reasons why nearly 60 other concertgoers were hospitalized.

The mother of the woman who died after the festival told Fox 13 News Tuesday that she didn’t think her daughter was a heavy drug user, though hospital staff said the deaths could have been caused by a drug overdose.

"We don't know (what happened). They have an autopsy going on," the woman’s mother said. "The hospital didn't know, they were bewildered with how to treat this."

Florida Poison Control said officials are trying to match the symptoms of those who were hospitalized with possible drug sources, according to Fox 13 News.

Police also reported 25 felony arrests, eight misdemeanor arrests and 16 marijuana civil citations at the festival.

Tampa police said drug-sniffing dogs were hired by the organizers of the music festival to screen people at the door.

"This year, they did more than they did the previous year," Officer Steve Hegarty said. "I don't know what plans they have for next year, but they are going to be well aware of the numbers we had this year."
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Old 06-15-2016, 09:44 AM   #564
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Bar Brawl Erupts at Florida Sloppy Joe’s over Fart Police Say

http://www.breitbart.com/big-governm...rt-police-say/

One of the most popular bars in Key West, Florida, erupted in a brawl, police say, because one couple took offense over another patron’s farting.
According to the Miami Herald, Florida police reveal the fight took place last Friday “due to someone farting” at a Sloppy Joe’s restaurant and bar.

The report stated that Naples, Florida, residents Richard McBride, 53, and girlfriend Sandra Stoner, 55, joined in an argument with an unidentified couple “over a fart.”

The Naples couple said that they took offense and began a war of words with the other couple with Stoner confronting them in “an aggressive manner.”

Key West Officer Igor Kasyanenko confirms that surveillance video shows Stoner getting out of her seat to confront the unknown woman by “getting in her face in what appeared to me as an aggressive manner.”

Apparently the unidentified woman began to tussle with Stoner, causing McBride to enter the fight to shove the woman away. After he pushed the woman, the man punched McBride in the face, the report says. McBride admits he then tackled the man, sending both of them tumbling to the ground.

Bar security then broke up the fight.

The other couple left the establishment before police arrived. Ultimately, McBride, who police say smelled of alcohol, received hospital treatment and no charges were filed. The fight is now gone with the wind.
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Old 06-15-2016, 11:57 AM   #565
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Beer fart bar fight.
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Old 06-15-2016, 12:02 PM   #566
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I little bittersweet, this thread this week.
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Old 07-01-2016, 01:08 PM   #567
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Old 07-01-2016, 01:15 PM   #568
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Old 07-05-2016, 06:56 PM   #569
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Chick beats up her boyfriend using her infant child....
http://www.kmbc.com/national/18yearo...t%20Type=Story
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Old 07-05-2016, 07:29 PM   #570
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Chick beats up her boyfriend using her infant child....
http://www.kmbc.com/national/18yearo...t%20Type=Story
Ban assault infants!
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