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View Poll Results: Who wins?
Dartgod 38 73.08%
threebag02 14 26.92%
Voters: 52. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-15-2018, 11:48 AM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 23 - Dartgod versus threebag02
Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is. All participants are handed their weapons at t=0 unless stated otherwise.

Venue - In free-fall at 20,000 feet, wearing parachutes, and with a snake and gator-filled swamp below you.
Starting Distance - 21 feet

Dartgod

Main Weapon - Indian razorwhip (Urumi)
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 14 Minutes
Special Factors - Naked East Asian women are screaming and running around panicked (Organizer note: in this situation you may assume that they're also free falling and wearing parachutes.)

threebag02

Main Weapon - Baseball Bat with six nails studded into it
Backup Weapon - Bowie knife

Prep Time - 3 Minutes
Special Factors - You ate some really, really bad sushi the night before and are afflicted with a violent case of diarrhea
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Old 07-15-2018, 03:49 PM   #16
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Reading comprehension


Damnit, Dart Dart Dart
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Old 07-15-2018, 03:52 PM   #17
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Orrrr, they both tell Rainman to get lost, save the naked women and reap the rewards.
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stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.stumppy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 06:04 PM   #18
Dartgod Dartgod is offline
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He's not surviving this.

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Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.Dartgod is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-15-2018, 06:20 PM   #19
stumppy stumppy is offline
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Thats a little different kind of whip than what I was thinking of.
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Old 07-15-2018, 06:30 PM   #20
Dartgod Dartgod is offline
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Originally Posted by stumppy View Post
Thats a little different kind of whip than what I was thinking of.
I can destroy his parachute before he even deploys it with that thing.
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Old 07-15-2018, 06:48 PM   #21
stumppy stumppy is offline
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I can destroy his parachute before he even deploys it with that thing.
Looks like Dart teabags threebag.
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Old 07-15-2018, 07:59 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dartgod View Post
He's not surviving this.
The wind from your fall will have you slicing the shit out of yourself.

You'll end up looking like roast beef in an Angel Smalls video
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Old 07-15-2018, 08:45 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stumppy View Post
Thats a little different kind of whip than what I was thinking of.
Just not your day.
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Old 07-15-2018, 09:26 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by threebag02 View Post
The wind from your fall will have you slicing the shit out of yourself.

You'll end up looking like roast beef in an Angel Smalls video
This is a very intriguing argument. Is the urumi heavy enough to be used in freefall? If not, threebag2 can race toward the ground and potentially have an advantage in the swamp.
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Old 07-16-2018, 06:04 AM   #25
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This is the toughest one for me so far.
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Old 07-16-2018, 07:14 AM   #26
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This is a very intriguing argument. Is the urumi heavy enough to be used in freefall? If not, threebag2 can race toward the ground and potentially have an advantage in the swamp.
77.78% of the voting public believe that it is.
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Old 07-16-2018, 08:00 AM   #27
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Dartgod has the advantage, but I don't see either contestant surviving
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Old 07-16-2018, 08:44 AM   #28
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77.78% of the voting public believe that it is.
Fake News
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Old 07-16-2018, 08:54 AM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by threebag02 View Post
The wind from your fall will have you slicing the shit out of yourself.

You'll end up looking like roast beef in an Angel Smalls video
The whip is utterly useless in the free fall. The Bowie knife is the only weapon worth a damn falling. And you aren’t swinging that damn whip in the swamp either so the bat is the #1 in the swamp. Easy victory.
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Old 07-16-2018, 08:56 AM   #30
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Holy ****. Seriously, do you guys even stop to think before you vote or do you just agree with whoever responds first..
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