Direckshun's Comic Book Battles

[Direckshun]

This thread is a pretty simple concept, and I will carry on with it as long as my imagination allows.

Are you a fan of comic book characters, both well known and obscure? So am I, for much of my youth. When I was a teenager and bored to shit with classes in high school, I'd author battles between two comic book characters of my choice. As you can imagine, I got laid a ton.

When I get some down time, I'll do the same here in this thread.

You only need to provide me one thing: the two heroes you want to see fighting.

(a.) You name the characters. (It can be any two characters, preferably from Marvel but I can swing any characters thanks to the Internet.) Preferably keep it to two characters as that's easier to write.
(b.) You are free to name any rules you want to establish (i.e. "Superman can't use his heat vision!" or whatever), if you wish.
(c.) You are free to name any setting (i.e. "they start off 100 miles away, on the moon"), if you wish.

I'm happy to do nearly any battle. It's always preferable to do fighters who are somewhat evenly matched, but I've written my fair share of ass-stompings too.

May the games begin, or may this thread slide into eternal obscurity.

[NewChief]

Magik vs. Satana (or Magick vs. Raven if you want to cross universes).

A duel of demonic divas!

[The Franchise]

Professor X vs. Stephen Hawking

Professor X isn't allowed to use any of his special powers.

Go.

[icepick64]

Thanos vs darkseid

[hometeam]

Originally Posted by Three7s

Alright then, how about Goku vs The Incredible Hulk.

Which Goku? Child Goku? Black headed Goku? First realization of SS Goku? Killed and resurrected umpteen times planet destroying Goku? Badly done live action Goku? THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

It might not hurt, guys, to suggest if the folks you want to fight have time to plan.

Some of the characters you folks mention, like Batman, are planning gods. Time to plan makes them far more powerful.

It's not necessary, as I will just fill in the gaps as I see fit, but if you throw that in there, you might get more of the fight you are expecting.

I was the only person to suggest Batman so I'm assuming you're talking about me? I said Batman only had standard gear; I meant that this would be a random encounter. Giving a billionaire genius time to prepare is just reeruned. There'd be about a thousand things both real and fictional he could come up with to beat Spider-Man.

In my scenario, it's just Spider-Man and Batman as you'd most often see them, meaning Bats has his batarangs and smoke bombs and all that bullshit while Spidey is just chilling in his suit with his webs. Time of day, location, distance apart, etc. are yours to decide.

Winner by incapacitation.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I was the only person to suggest Batman so I'm assuming you're talking about me? I said Batman only had standard gear; I meant that this would be a random encounter. Giving a billionaire genius time to prepare is just reeruned. There'd be about a thousand things both real and fictional he could come up with to beat Spider-Man.

In my scenario, it's just Spider-Man and Batman as you'd most often see them, meaning Bats has his batarangs and smoke bombs and all that bullshit while Spidey is just chilling in his suit with his webs. Time of day, location, distance apart, etc. are yours to decide.

Winner by incapacitation.

Batman's the classic example of a guy who is a prep god, but several of the folks already in this thread are. I just wrote a battle involving the Clock King, who is a lethal planner. Thanos is probably the ultimate planner.

Like I said, if it's not mentioned, I'll just take creative liberties. So no big deal. But thanks for the clarification.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

Batman vs. Spiderman.

Batman doesn't have any Anti Spider Bat Repellant or weird shit like that. He just has his standard gear with things like grappling guns, batarangs, etc.

"This is a new feeling," uttered a badly beaten and bruised Batman, with his ripped cowl and cape flapping as he sped down the busy nighttime streets of Gotham on the Batcycle.

"Normally I own the air, reigning terror from above. Now I'm the one escaping on the ground, checking the skies for my enemy."

The Dark Knight navigated the streets with his usual elite deftness, however more difficult task it was with one eye swollen shut. He slowed on occasion, scanning the skyline around him for the red-clad, ultra-athletic mutant chasing him. He started trying to think of anywhere he could go, anything he could do. Wayne Manor was across town, and he didn't have that much time to disappear.

Ah, disappearing. Something that's come so easy ever since he donned the cowl. He remembered recently pounding Killer Croc into the pavement after Croc literally didn't see him under his own nose. That used to be his ultimate advantage.

It wasn't this time. No matter where he went, no matter how quietly he stalked, this mutant was able to sense him out. Tools of deception and terror that he used to employ so effortlessly were deflected with ease by his foe. And the darkness Batman has always exuded so powerfully is now being flushed out by the casual wit of his attacker.

In boring shareholder meetings, Bruce would often times imagine what the ultimate foe would look like. He'd have the dexterity of Catwoman. The strength of Bane. And he'd have the Joker's humorous wit and imperviousness to intimidation. What were once daydreams to keep him awake was now a reality that could potentially end his life.

He turned a sharp corner on his Batcycle, trying to find an alley to regroup and think of something. Normally he was so quick with his wits on his feet. But the unholy power of his enemy was too much to behold, and he finally, after years of always having the upperhand, felt his composure slipping.

A dark alley with two large dumpsters was two blocks ahead. And as Batman scanned the buildingtops atop his bike one last time, he saw what he dreaded.

A blur of red and blue, seemingly in flight, swung in with unholy power and knocked Batman off his bike. Batman spread his cape to aid him in his fall, but the sheer speed of the collision still knocked him across the street into a closed bakery store. Batman crashed through the window and into a muffin display, sending stale pastries everywhere.

Dropping from 30 yards in the air off his web sling, the enemy landed on his feet across the street with the ease most people have jumping a small puddle.

"I'm always down for breaking some bread. Ha!" said the enemy, as he walked across the street in a casual jaunt. "How about we--"

But in a single motion, Batman rose from the wreckage, winding up to hurl a handful of bat-stars. But his foe's reflexes and weapons were faster, as he shot a wet sling of what seemed like powerful rope into Batman's hand, sticking all his weapons to his hand like glue, and with his other hand shot a sling into Batman's face, knocking him back a foot or two. "Not so fast!," the menace yelped. "Bats aren't the only ones adept at catching flies."

Batman used a blade in his other hand to slice through both rope-like slings and rolled against the floor up against the wall.

"I don't know why you bother. I really don't," said the enemy. "I know exactly where you are." He walked up to the wall, and with a single punch, slammed his fist through it, and pulled Batman out onto the sidewalk through the wall. Batman lay on the sidewalk, limp.

The enemy joking putly his foot on him. "I declare this bat for the United States of--"

Batman rolled over and detonated a flash-bang, a device that is ten times louder than a bomb and a hundred times brighter than the sun, putting the enemy on his heels. FINALLY. His heightened senses, such a deadly weapon in his favor, were also a weakness.

And even though he was battered and physically decimated, Batman still rose to his feet with apparent ease.

"GOTHAM IS ALL THAT MATTERS," he roared, and spun 360 degrees, launching his foot into the spider sigil on the enemy's chest. "BATMOBILE!," he shouted into his wrist as he launched an assault on his enemy, who despite his incredible pain, blindness, and deafness, still landed on his feet.

Batman threw haymakers and knees into the enemy, putting his hand on his throat and slamming him into the brick wall.

Instead of collapsing into the pavement, however, his foe did something unexpected... he crawled up the wall. "What the hell...."

The menace leapt off the wall and landed right on top of Batman. Raising his fist in the air to finish the Dark Knight off, he cursed "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? I AM SPIDERMAN."

Before he could strike a crippling blow, however, the enemy's senses tingled -- even without vision and hearing, he was still seemingly one with his surroundings. As crashing through a building came the Batmobile, firing towards the enemy like a bullet.

Spiderman leapt backwards with ease back onto the wall before the car-weapon could strike him. Batman managed to roll out of the way as the Batmobile struck the foundation of the wall Spiderman clung to, sending him into the rubble.

Batman fired his grappling hook towards the roof of a neighboring skyscraper and started ascending to escape. As he rocketed upwards, he saw another white rope shoot up next to him. Looking down, he saw the Spiderman giving chase up the side of the building. He reached into his belt and fired off a heat-seeking tazer bullet, which landed on Spiderman's shoulders and delivered a powerful electronic charge.

Through great pain of the electrocution, as well as the tremendous scream that came with it, Spiderman continued gaining ground until he grabbed Batman's foot, planting his own feet against the side of the building, stopping both of their upward progress 45 stories high.

Batman swung his other foot to Spiderman's face, which Spiderman dodged.

"It's over," Spiderman said. He squeezed his hand and crushed Batman's ankle like a soda can.

The Dark Knight felt the agony of his leg disabled, but contained his anguish, instead shouting "SO BE IT!!!" with the passion of a superhero ready to die for his cause.

He released the grappling gun and fell on top of Spiderman, slicing through his web and grabbing him by the shoulders. The two fell in freefall together, Spiderman attempting to fire off webs to save him, but the Dark Knight slicing through every time. His superior combat skills ensured that Spiderman would be relatively subdued on their fall.

Spiderman grabbed his throat, his seemingly only chance to kill his enemy and survive. So close to the ground, as Spiderman raised his wrist in one last attempt to escape the earth.

Batman grabbed Spiderman by the neck with both hands, threw his legs into his torso, and flipped them both over.

The pavement finally arrived. Spiderman's back slammed into the concrete, with Batman's knees landing in his abdomen with the violent force of a 45-story drop.

The fall broke them both. Perhaps for good.

Debris fluttered and the ground had no motion for an hour, as people eventually came out onto the street in the silence to see what to make of the combatants.

As the debris billowed, the silouette of a lithe man.

He stood like a baby deer, then fell to his knees.

He raised a wrist to the air, and his limp body escalated to a nearby building top.

Once the smoke cleared, the people of Gotham were stunned to see Bruce Wayne's lifeless body with Batman's hopelessly ripped cowl failing to disguise him any longer.

[Direckshun]

I should also note that I am not ignoring anybody's requests. I'll get to them all if I have time. I'm just going to pick and choose which ones I'd like to write, and if I get around to it, I'll do them all.

[Deberg_1990]

Machine Man vs Plastic Man

[Sorter]

Quicksilver vs. Nightcrwaler in a 50X50 room.


Nightcrawler can't teleport outside the room.

[Three7s]

Originally Posted by hometeam

Which Goku? Child Goku? Black headed Goku? First realization of SS Goku? Killed and resurrected umpteen times planet destroying Goku? Badly done live action Goku? THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW

Hmm, I guess SS Goku.

[Bowser]

The Silver Surfer vs. Superboy-Prime

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Direckshun

"This is a new feeling," uttered a badly beaten and bruised Batman, with his ripped cowl and cape flapping as he sped down the busy nighttime streets of Gotham on the Batcycle.

"Normally I own the air, reigning terror from above. Now I'm the one escaping on the ground, checking the skies for my enemy."

The Dark Knight navigated the streets with his usual elite deftness, however more difficult task it was with one eye swollen shut. He slowed on occasion, scanning the skyline around him for the red-clad, ultra-athletic mutant chasing him. He started trying to think of anywhere he could go, anything he could do. Wayne Manor was across town, and he didn't have that much time to disappear.

Ah, disappearing. Something that's come so easy ever since he donned the cowl. He remembered recently pounding Killer Croc into the pavement after Croc literally didn't see him under his own nose. That used to be his ultimate advantage.

It wasn't this time. No matter where he went, no matter how quietly he stalked, this mutant was able to sense him out. Tools of deception and terror that he used to employ so effortlessly were deflected with ease by his foe. And the darkness Batman has always exuded so powerfully is now being flushed out by the casual wit of his attacker.

In boring shareholder meetings, Bruce would often times imagine what the ultimate foe would look like. He'd have the dexterity of Catwoman. The strength of Bane. And he'd have the Joker's humorous wit and imperviousness to intimidation. What were once daydreams to keep him awake was now a reality that could potentially end his life.

He turned a sharp corner on his Batcycle, trying to find an alley to regroup and think of something. Normally he was so quick with his wits on his feet. But the unholy power of his enemy was too much to behold, and he finally, after years of always having the upperhand, felt his composure slipping.

A dark alley with two large dumpsters was two blocks ahead. And as Batman scanned the buildingtops atop his bike one last time, he saw what he dreaded.

A blur of red and blue, seemingly in flight, swung in with unholy power and knocked Batman off his bike. Batman spread his cape to aid him in his fall, but the sheer speed of the collision still knocked him across the street into a closed bakery store. Batman crashed through the window and into a muffin display, sending stale pastries everywhere.

Dropping from 30 yards in the air off his web sling, the enemy landed on his feet across the street with the ease most people have jumping a small puddle.

"I'm always down for breaking some bread. Ha!" said the enemy, as he walked across the street in a casual jaunt. "How about we--"

But in a single motion, Batman rose from the wreckage, winding up to hurl a handful of bat-stars. But his foe's reflexes and weapons were faster, as he shot a wet sling of what seemed like powerful rope into Batman's hand, sticking all his weapons to his hand like glue, and with his other hand shot a sling into Batman's face, knocking him back a foot or two. "Not so fast!," the menace yelped. "Bats aren't the only ones adept at catching flies."

Batman used a blade in his other hand to slice through both rope-like slings and rolled against the floor up against the wall.

"I don't know why you bother. I really don't," said the enemy. "I know exactly where you are." He walked up to the wall, and with a single punch, slammed his fist through it, and pulled Batman out onto the sidewalk through the wall. Batman lay on the sidewalk, limp.

The enemy joking putly his foot on him. "I declare this bat for the United States of--"

Batman rolled over and detonated a flash-bang, a device that is ten times louder than a bomb and a hundred times brighter than the sun, putting the enemy on his heels. FINALLY. His heightened senses, such a deadly weapon in his favor, were also a weakness.

And even though he was battered and physically decimated, Batman still rose to his feet with apparent ease.

"GOTHAM IS ALL THAT MATTERS," he roared, and spun 360 degrees, launching his foot into the spider sigil on the enemy's chest. "BATMOBILE!," he shouted into his wrist as he launched an assault on his enemy, who despite his incredible pain, blindness, and deafness, still landed on his feet.

Batman threw haymakers and knees into the enemy, putting his hand on his throat and slamming him into the brick wall.

Instead of collapsing into the pavement, however, his foe did something unexpected... he crawled up the wall. "What the hell...."

The menace leapt off the wall and landed right on top of Batman. Raising his fist in the air to finish the Dark Knight off, he cursed "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? I AM SPIDERMAN."

Before he could strike a crippling blow, however, the enemy's senses tingled -- even without vision and hearing, he was still seemingly one with his surroundings. As crashing through a building came the Batmobile, firing towards the enemy like a bullet.

Spiderman leapt backwards with ease back onto the wall before the car-weapon could strike him. Batman managed to roll out of the way as the Batmobile struck the foundation of the wall Spiderman clung to, sending him into the rubble.

Batman fired his grappling hook towards the roof of a neighboring skyscraper and started ascending to escape. As he rocketed upwards, he saw another white rope shoot up next to him. Looking down, he saw the Spiderman giving chase up the side of the building. He reached into his belt and fired off a heat-seeking tazer bullet, which landed on Spiderman's shoulders and delivered a powerful electronic charge.

Through great pain of the electrocution, as well as the tremendous scream that came with it, Spiderman continued gaining ground until he grabbed Batman's foot, planting his own feet against the side of the building, stopping both of their upward progress 45 stories high.

Batman swung his other foot to Spiderman's face, which Spiderman dodged.

"It's over," Spiderman said. He squeezed his hand and crushed Batman's ankle like a soda can.

The Dark Knight felt the agony of his leg disabled, but contained his anguish, instead shouting "SO BE IT!!!" with the passion of a superhero ready to die for his cause.

He released the grappling gun and fell on top of Spiderman, slicing through his web and grabbing him by the shoulders. The two fell in freefall together, Spiderman attempting to fire off webs to save him, but the Dark Knight slicing through every time. His superior combat skills ensured that Spiderman would be relatively subdued on their fall.

Spiderman grabbed his throat, his seemingly only chance to kill his enemy and survive. So close to the ground, as Spiderman raised his wrist in one last attempt to escape the earth.

Batman grabbed Spiderman by the neck with both hands, threw his legs into his torso, and flipped them both over.

The pavement finally arrived. Spiderman's back slammed into the concrete, with Batman's knees landing in his abdomen with the violent force of a 45-story drop.

The fall broke them both. Perhaps for good.

Debris fluttered and the ground had no motion for an hour, as people eventually came out onto the street in the silence to see what to make of the combatants.

As the debris billowed, the silouette of a lithe man.

He stood like a baby deer, then fell to his knees.

He raised a wrist to the air, and his limp body escalated to a nearby building top.

Once the smoke cleared, the people of Gotham were stunned to see Bruce Wayne's lifeless body with Batman's hopelessly ripped cowl failing to disguise him any longer.

Nice. Very nice. I like how you illustrated Bats' hopelessness in the face of such a physically superior opponent..

The reason I wanted you to do this one is because I've argued with friends so many times that Spidey would slaughter Bats and NO ONE EVER agrees. It makes no ****ing sense. Batman is just a man, albeit highly trained, intelligent, and skilled. Spider-Man can lift ****ing tanks and shit. He dodges machine gun fire point blank. His webbing can subdue super strong enemies like Lizard and the Goblins briefly. His spider sense would allow no stealth attacks from Batman.

Spider-Man would beat Batman in a random encounter 10 times out of 10.

[Fish]

Starfox vs. Rogue.

[Jamie]

Dr. Doom vs Dr. J in a 10k footrace. Dr. J is his current age, and Dr. Doom is wearing his full armor.