Why Maine is the worst f'ing state in the Union

[Rain Man]

I made a trip to Maine this week, and the state sucks. It's terrible. Here's why it's terrible, and I'm sure there are other reasons.

Toll roads. You can't even build your own roads so you make people have to stop and pay every ten minutes. Manage your money better, Maine.

Lobster rolls. Seriously, what is this? They're advertised everywhere and I finally got one, and it's just some plain lobster on a bun with some lettuce. Nothing else. Why is it called a roll? It's just a sandwich and not a very creative sandwich at that. I've made ham sandwiches at home that boasted more complexity. There's not even any drawn butter for the lobster. What a joke.

Maine has stupid geographic names. Wassamattamekong. Mustafaateanorca. Wakkawakkamoosebegone. Grow up, people. Give your stupid cities names that are reasonable.

Their state patrol gives innocent people speeding tickets just because they're driving in a rental car with Illinois plates. They have poorly marked speed limits and then give innocent people tickets who think that they're traveling less than six miles over the speed limit, and they then get informed that, 'nooooo, you're more than 10 mph so I can give you a ticket and then go sit in my car and watch moose porn for the rest of my shift.' This happens even if the visitor has not had a speeding ticket in 37 years.

No one wants to be near Maine. It's like the smelly kid in the cafeteria. Only one state will even touch it. That's practically impossible for a state that's not an island. New Hampshire lost a bet or something.

The best football player that sorry state ever produced is Jovan Belcher. Just run with that thought for a few minutes.

They had a scenic overlook of the highest peak in Maine. It's 5,264 feet. My house is higher than that. Seriously. My house is at 5,300 feet. Screw you and your tiny mountains, Maine.

Statehood? No one wanted Maine. It only got in because we wanted Missouri. Maine got in because of a compromise, not because we wanted it. Maine is the ugly girl trying to get into the night club with her hot friend.

And on that note, where was Maine during the revolution? People in New Hampshire and Massachusetts were risking their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to secure freedom and democracy. People in Maine were just standing around in their red plaid writing tickets to revolutionary travelers.

Maine killed all of the local Indians with their interesting languages.

Seriously, give that monosyllabic dump back to Canada. It's useless.

[Kman34]

It’s pretty in the fall...

[stumppy]

So.......you think we're hot?

(Looks over shoulder at bats eyes at handsome stranger)

[rabblerouser]

Originally Posted by Garcia Bronco

Weird I call it Massachusetts II

There are nice people in Maine.

[redfan]

Ain't nothing wrong with Maine. It's cool.

[displacedinMN]

Cheese and crow.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by stumppy

So.......you think we're hot?

(Looks over shoulder at bats eyes at handsome stranger)

Well, recognize that you're standing next to Maine.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by scho63

So did you have a good time?

Not bad overall. But I want my lobster roll money back. It's a scam.

[JD10367]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Not bad overall. But I want my lobster roll money back. It's a scam.

I was in Boston with the wife a few weeks ago and she wanted a lobster roll so we went to Faneuil Hall. They should hand out a little jar of K-Y with the food. I think it was like twenty bucks for a ****ing tablespoon of lobster.

There’s a place in south RI called Nordic Lodge. It’s a $92 buffet but that includes tax and tip so when you back it up you’re paying about $70 for the food. All you can eat lobsters, king crab legs, snow crab legs, fried sea scallops, crawfish salad, lobster salad, raw bar, fried shrimp, even Kobe beef. I save up and go there instead.

[rabblerouser]

Originally Posted by banecat

F**k tolls to death. But Stephen King?

have you read his books? They don't exactly portray Maine as a place anyone wants to live at...

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by JD10367

I was in Boston with the wife a few weeks ago and she wanted a lobster roll so we went to Faneuil Hall. They should hand out a little jar of K-Y with the food. I think it was like twenty bucks for a ****ing tablespoon of lobster.

You went to the single biggest tourist trap in Massachusetts and then bitch you got raped like a tourist? Uhh.....

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

Originally Posted by Otter

Maine has some really nice beaches and great state forest land but the people are strange. It's almost as if the gene pool became too shallow at some point.

It's an odd place.

I actually flew up there back in 91 to interview with a 2000 Sow operation. The ****ing owner giving me the interview had downs syndrome. Swear to God!

I couldn't get away fast enough!!!!!!

[Amnorix]

I also hate Maine. It's a popular vacation get-away destination but:

1. Most of it is too damn flat and boring. Driving to Acadia National Forest is a six hour drive through the exact same boring-ass, flat slightly windy, heavily treed, completely flat ****ing highway. It's like what I imagine the worst parts of Iowa or Kansas are like but instead of corn, it's just ****ing endless trees.

2. It's boring. Sure, if you want to go somewhere and do literally NOTHING, it's great. But if you want to do ANYTHING, you're pretty well ****ed.

You want relaxing and slow, but with some options, go to freaking New Hampshire. Maine is Portland (great for a 3 day weekend, like once, but then you're out of things to do), with a desert wasteland around it, but instead of sand, it's just flat, boring ass trees.

Bah Hahbah (Bar Harbor) isn't bad -- for like an extended weekend -- but the six hour drive through TreeHell is a pretty high price for a New England town atmosphere with extra tourist trap fixings. I can go nearly anywhere along the shore to get that, without driving so far and without the side order of massive tourist trap.

[Frazod]

Nothing is worse than driving across Kansas.

You actually get excited when you see a tree.

[Amnorix]

Originally Posted by Frazod

Nothing is worse than driving across Kansas.

You actually get excited when you see a tree.

I haven't done it, but I imagine you're right and that while I thought I was in hell driving forever through Maine, it was only the first layer of hell while Kansas is like the sixth...

[Frazod]

Originally Posted by Amnorix

I haven't done it, but I imagine you're right and that while I thought I was in hell driving forever through Maine, it was only the first layer of hell while Kansas is like the sixth...

That drive to Maine sounds like driving across Pennsylvania on I-80. From Ohio to New Jersey, literally nothing but trees.