This Week's Important Florida News!

[gblowfish]

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.

[Beef Supreme]

Sounds like the cops are just harassing a couple of young entrepreneurs.

[vailpass]

Originally Posted by Beef Supreme

Sounds like the cops are just harassing a couple of young entrepreneurs.

It's a gittin' so a 30 year old drunk methy an his 20 year old strung out old lady caint sell a lil' fentanyl then go git nekkid in the swamps around here.

[gblowfish]

Priest on Priest in Miami Beach?
https://www.local10.com/news/florida...ach-police-say

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. - One of the two Catholic priests who Miami Beach Police Department officers found having oral sex in a parked car on Ocean Drive in South Bech walked out of jail on Tuesday afternoon.

Miami-Dade County corrections officers released Diego Berrio, a 39-year-old priest with the Mission of San Juan Diego in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Edwin Giraldo Cortez, a 30-year-old priest from Soacha, Colombia, who served at the St. Aloysius Parish in Chicago, remained in custody.

"It is our responsibility to ensure those who serve our people are fit for ministry," said Anne Maselli, a spokeswoman for the Archdiocese of Chicago. "We take this matter very seriously."

Miami-Dade prosecutors charged both men with lewd and lascivious behavior. Giraldo Cortez, who reportedly served at the church in Chicago for a month, was also charged with indecent exposure.

It was easy for a police officer to spot Berrio and Giraldo Cortez about 3:30 p.m., because their black Volkswagen Beetle didn't have tinted windows, according to the police report.

The rental car was parked on Ocean Driver in front of Lummus Park and the Art Deco hotels, between 13th and 14th Streets.

[scho63]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

Priest on Priest in Miami Beach?
https://www.local10.com/news/florida...ach-police-say

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. - One of the two Catholic priests who Miami Beach Police Department officers found having oral sex in a parked car on Ocean Drive in South Bech walked out of jail on Tuesday afternoon.

Miami-Dade County corrections officers released Diego Berrio, a 39-year-old priest with the Mission of San Juan Diego in Arlington Heights, Illinois. Edwin Giraldo Cortez, a 30-year-old priest from Soacha, Colombia, who served at the St. Aloysius Parish in Chicago, remained in custody.

"It is our responsibility to ensure those who serve our people are fit for ministry," said Anne Maselli, a spokeswoman for the Archdiocese of Chicago. "We take this matter very seriously."

Miami-Dade prosecutors charged both men with lewd and lascivious behavior. Giraldo Cortez, who reportedly served at the church in Chicago for a month, was also charged with indecent exposure.

It was easy for a police officer to spot Berrio and Giraldo Cortez about 3:30 p.m., because their black Volkswagen Beetle didn't have tinted windows, according to the police report.

The rental car was parked on Ocean Driver in front of Lummus Park and the Art Deco hotels, between 13th and 14th Streets.

On a positive note, both men were of age!

[BigRedChief]

Florida weird but cold as ice


https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml...mpression=true

A Florida Inmate Reportedly Ripped His Cellmate's Eyes Out After Strangling Him
Officers reportedly didn't notice anything was wrong until the inmate walked into the cafeteria with his victim's ear on a necklace.

The Miami Herald, citing multiple prison sources, reported that the gruesome killing occurred Thursday morning in a building separate from the main facility at Columbia Correctional Institution, where hours later a battle between two rival gangs armed with knives and other weapons erupted.

The inmate who was killed was identified as 58-year-old Larry Mark, who was also listed in prison records as being deceased as of Thursday. Mark, who had been at the prison since 1982, was serving a life sentence for murder, records show.u

Prison officials, however, declined to comment to the Miami Herald on how Mark died or identity his attacker.

The prison and the Florida Department Of Corrections also did not immediately respond to BuzzFeed News' request for comment. However, sources told the Herald that the attacker had become irritated with Mark before killing him and mutilating his body, leaving his eyeballs in a cup to consumer later before going to breakfast.

Columbia Correctional Institution
Only two officers were patrolling Mark's dorm at the time of his death, according to the Herald

The Florida Department Of Corrections (FDC) released a statement saying that 10 inmates at Columbia were involved in an altercation the same day, four of whom had to be taken to the hospital.

In a statement to the Herald, the FDC would not elaborate on Mark's death, but said an investigation had been launched.

"Any loss of life at the hands of an inmate is intolerable, and we are working with our partners at FDLE to investigate this death and ensure anyone responsible is held accountable to the fullest extent of the law," a spokesperson said.

According to the Herald, a potent mix of problems — staffing cuts, growing violence, the introduction of synthetic marijuana and inexperienced guards — has left Florida prisons struggling to adequately inspect cells for weapons and contraband, let alone control inmates

[scho63]

Dead prisoner: "Hey cellie, will you keep an eye out for me?"

[IowaHawkeyeChief]

Originally Posted by scho63

Dead prisoner: "Hey cellie, will you keep an eye out for me?"

Cellie responds, "Wood eye, of course!"

[gblowfish]

People who live in a Florida neighborhood say their neighbor does yard work and walks around his property naked. Stuart residents say they’ve called the sheriff's office, but deputies say there is nothing they can do.

"I came out Sunday night to put the trash out, and I look over and he is bent over, winding up his hose, and I'm like, that is my view of the neighborhood,” says Melissa Ny, a neighbor.

Concerned neighbors want to crack down on this naked truth, the man who lives at the end of their street is a nudist.

"He works on his car, and he does it naked and everyone has called the police. He is just out there doing his yard work, whatever he needs to do outside, naked," says Ny.

Nude yard work? Neighbors can't bear it.

"Have some respect for the neighborhood kids. Kids catch the bus here. It’s wrong," says Charlie Estes, a neighbor.

Several people in the neighborhood have called the Martin County Sheriff's office, but say deputies tell them as long as he isn't touching himself inappropriately, there is nothing they can do since he is on his own property.

"I have seen these people stand on their front step, buck naked, both of them, and talk to a police officer, sheriff department. The sheriff's department told me to turn my head," says Estes.

We found one person who doesn’t have an issue with the neighbor stripped down to nothing.

"I am not one of those people who have concerns because it is their way of life, and it is on their property and I know it is legal," says Molly Merritt, neighbor.

We spoke with the man in question off camera. He said he was not interested in doing an interview because he and his family are private people.

"If they are private, why are your privates on display? That is not private at all, that is very public," says Ny.

Link: https://www.kmbc.com/article/neighbo...-nude/23339194

[BigRichard]

Originally Posted by gblowfish

People who live in a Florida neighborhood say their neighbor does yard work and walks around his property naked. Stuart residents say they’ve called the sheriff's office, but deputies say there is nothing they can do.

"I came out Sunday night to put the trash out, and I look over and he is bent over, winding up his hose, and I'm like, that is my view of the neighborhood,” says Melissa Ny, a neighbor.

Concerned neighbors want to crack down on this naked truth, the man who lives at the end of their street is a nudist.

"He works on his car, and he does it naked and everyone has called the police. He is just out there doing his yard work, whatever he needs to do outside, naked," says Ny.

Nude yard work? Neighbors can't bear it.

"Have some respect for the neighborhood kids. Kids catch the bus here. It’s wrong," says Charlie Estes, a neighbor.

Several people in the neighborhood have called the Martin County Sheriff's office, but say deputies tell them as long as he isn't touching himself inappropriately, there is nothing they can do since he is on his own property.

"I have seen these people stand on their front step, buck naked, both of them, and talk to a police officer, sheriff department. The sheriff's department told me to turn my head," says Estes.

We found one person who doesn’t have an issue with the neighbor stripped down to nothing.

"I am not one of those people who have concerns because it is their way of life, and it is on their property and I know it is legal," says Molly Merritt, neighbor.

We spoke with the man in question off camera. He said he was not interested in doing an interview because he and his family are private people.

"If they are private, why are your privates on display? That is not private at all, that is very public," says Ny.

Link: https://www.kmbc.com/article/neighbo...-nude/23339194

Any neighbors that are a good shot with a BB gun could probably take care of the issue. Maybe one of those varmint hunter pellet guns.

[ptlyon]

Molly likes the schlong view

[BigRedChief]

Naked Florida man tries to start fight club at Chick-Fil-A
Deputies say he stripped down and kept yelling 'Look at my (expletive)!'

https://www.news4jax.com/news/florid...ium%3Dsharebar

[Dave Lane]

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

Naked Florida man tries to start fight club at Chick-Fil-A
Deputies say he stripped down and kept yelling 'Look at my (expletive)!'

https://www.news4jax.com/news/florid...ium%3Dsharebar

So not just religious nuts, but regular nuts as well 🤣

[displacedinMN]

with video
https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-m...ouncil-meeting

A disgruntled Florida man threatened to kill his neighbor and then himself in an ongoing dispute over a shared walkway at a city council meeting this week.

Leonard Towsley, 56, took to the podium Monday during the Edgewater City Council meeting to address an ongoing dispute with his neighbor, William Hamilton.

“He took full advantage of you peoples’ stupidity, arrogance and animosity and made you think that he could get, you could get away with doing his dirty work for him,” Towsley said after pausing multiple times to compose himself.

FLORIDA RESIDENTS WARNED PARASITE-CARRYING NEW GUINEA FLATWORMS ARE INVADING PART OF THE STATE

Towsley was referencing an issue involving a shared walkway between his property and Hamilton’s.

The trouble started a few years ago when Hamilton paved the walkway with asphalt after the city granted him a permit to do so, The Daytona Beach News-Journal reported.

Records obtained by the news agency show that Hamilton called police on Towsley three times in 2017, all resulting in three misdemeanor charges for which the man never was prosecuted.

In one incident, Towsley allegedly dug up pieces of the asphalt and in another, he spray painted the walkway.

“If you two lowlifes get re-elected, all hell's going to break loose down there because I have reached my end and I am about ready to kill that piece of s*** Hamilton,” he said. “Then I’m going to end up taking my own life.”

FLORIDA GAS STATION ATTACK ON 4 PEOPLE, INCLUDING 11-YEAR-OLD GIRL, SEEN IN SHOCKING VIDEO

Towsley continued his rant before being escorted out of the meeting by two officers.

“You’re going to have two dead bodies laying in the middle of the street that you are going to have to answer for because of that scumbag!”

“Do you two b****** want to go to prison because of him for a double murder?” Towsley said to two specific council members.

[BigRedChief]

The massive gator known as ‘Chubbs’, famous for shocking golfers in Tampa, Florida was just spotted again pic.twitter.com/wX7WrxqcE9

— Only in America (@Crazzyintheusa) October 17, 2018

[gblowfish]

Miami Mug Shots!
https://www.miamiherald.com/news/nat...LH93fhgc5adptw