Hypothetical: Enter the witness protection program here.

[Rain Man]

State your interest and I will assign you a new life, along with that of your real or hypothetical spouse.

Here's mine:

Male name: BRYON
Female name: PAMELA
Surname: BARLOW
Location: Winnebago County, Iowa
Male occupation: Audio-Visual and Multimedia Collections Specialists
Annual Salary: $39,500
Female occupation: Tellers
Annual Salary: $31,700
Your Main Hobby: Astrology
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Skiing

I wish they had assigned me a first name with a standard spelling, but my new job sounds okay. Kind of a cold place to live, though.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Iowanian

You probably work at Winnebago industries...Hope you enjoy building RV and campers.
Here, you've got 4 things to do...fish, ski, ice fish and snowmobile

Given my job, I bet I'm the guy who makes the marketing videos for them and develops documentaries on them for The Travel Channel. That's a pretty fun job, I think.

And I'll be sticking to my assigned hobby of astrology over those other things, I think. It's more interesting to me, even though it's not interesting to me at all.

[Dartgod]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

If you mess that one up, you're going to get saddled with the name "Young Zucker" in Appalachia, so you should really try to make it work.

Male name: YOUNG
Female name: LACY
Surname: ZUCKER
Location: Bledsoe County, Tennessee
Male occupation: Electrical and Electronics Engineering Technicians
Annual Salary: $40,000
Female occupation: Psychiatric Technicians
Annual Salary: $17,600
Your Main Hobby: Shopping
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Hiking

Well, that's not much better.

My hobbies have been crocheting and shopping. Am I a woman in this new life?

[ChiliConCarnage]

Originally Posted by Amnorix

Basically, you live like a complete pauper surrounded by the ultra-wealthy on vacation during summer, and by frozen seagulls and perhaps the odd migrating penguin in winter.

And since it's an actual island, with no bridge to the mainland, even ordinary groceries are stupid expensive. Good luck my friend!

Rainmain, I need another option. Nantucket got me away from the Jesuits but I'm being abused by the wealthy denizens of the area. I'm slaving away fixing their collections of Patek Phillipes and Rolexes and the wealth isn't trickling down.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Dartgod

Well, that's not much better.

My hobbies have been crocheting and shopping. Am I a woman in this new life?

If you can pull it off, it's a great disguise.

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by ChiliConCarnage

Rainmain, I need another option. Nantucket got me away from the Jesuits but I'm being abused by the wealthy denizens of the area. I'm slaving away fixing their collections of Patek Phillipes and Rolexes and the wealth isn't trickling down.

How about a well-paid life of shooting stuff and then studying it? But you might want to get a nickname quickly. You can't keep the Bruce/Willa masterpiece of FBI creativity.

Male name: RUFUS
Female name: RHODA
Surname: DUARTE
Location: Macon County, Georgia
Male occupation: Natural Sciences Managers
Annual Salary: $158,100
Female occupation: Upholsterers
Annual Salary: $35,000
Your Main Hobby: Shooting
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Ice skating

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by ChiliConCarnage

Wow, interesting.
My wifes hobby She's lucky she's pulling in the dough!

She told me you're lucky you're keeping your body in shape.

[Otter]

I made a plea bargain with the feds to keep my outa the pen. Had to stoolie on the wiseguys to save my family.

[ChiliConCarnage]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

How about a well-paid life of shooting stuff and then studying it? But you might want to get a nickname quickly. You can't keep the Bruce/Willa masterpiece of FBI creativity.

Male name: RUFUS
Female name: RHODA
Surname: DUARTE
Location: Macon County, Georgia
Male occupation: Natural Sciences Managers
Annual Salary: $158,100
Female occupation: Upholsterers
Annual Salary: $35,000
Your Main Hobby: Shooting
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Ice skating

Thanks, were gonna give it a go. I'm a bit worried about Rhodas favorite hobby. Im guessing the ice skating options in a count of 15k ppl in the south are slim to none.

We're making 200k in a place that the average household brings in 29k. The weather should be nice

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by Otter

I made a plea bargain with the feds to keep my outa the pen. Had to stoolie on the wiseguys to save my family.

Get your flu shots, because you're going to be working in a germ factory. But satellite watching is a great cover story for moving to that part of Nebraska. I bet there are no lights on after 8 p.m.

Male name: CARY
Female name: BRIDGET
Surname: BARCLAY
Location: Dundy County, Nebraska
Male occupation: Pediatricians, General
Annual Salary: $111,500
Female occupation: Labor Relations Specialists
Annual Salary: $39,900
Your Main Hobby: Satellite watching
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Tai chi

[Rain Man]

Originally Posted by KS Smitty

Don't know how more anonymous I can be with a name like Smith.

You were so anonymous that I missed you the first time. Maybe you don't need a new identity, but you'll get one anyway.

I like it when spouses have alliterative names.

Male name: CORY
Female name: CARMELLA
Surname: MCADOO
Location: Shenandoah County, Virginia
Male occupation: Occupational Therapy Aides
Annual Salary: $31,400
Female occupation: Light Truck or Delivery Services Drivers
Annual Salary: $25,900
Your Main Hobby: LARPing
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Figure skating

[Hog's Gone Fishin]

How come nobody gets a job jerking animals ?

[Spott]

Originally Posted by Hog Farmer

How come nobody gets a job jerking animals ?

Because that job is already taken.

[KS Smitty]

Originally Posted by Rain Man

You were so anonymous that I missed you the first time. Maybe you don't need a new identity, but you'll get one anyway.

I like it when spouses have alliterative names.

Male name: CORY
Female name: CARMELLA
Surname: MCADOO
Location: Shenandoah County, Virginia
Male occupation: Occupational Therapy Aides
Annual Salary: $31,400
Female occupation: Light Truck or Delivery Services Drivers
Annual Salary: $25,900
Your Main Hobby: LARPing
Your Spouse's Main Hobby: Figure skating

McAdoo sounds like a Roger Miller song lol. This should be an interesting new life. I can see Cory figure skating...NOT.

[lewdog]

I had a run-in with some Mexicans near Trump's wall. Need out of Dodge....and quick!

[big nasty kcnut]

I'm in.