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Reload this Page Other Sports Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 14 - Fire Me Boy! versus CHENZ A!
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View Poll Results: Who wins?
Fire Me Boy! 32 62.75%
CHENZ A! 19 37.25%
Voters: 51. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-06-2018, 09:12 AM  
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 14 - Fire Me Boy! versus CHENZ A!
Vote for the person that you think would win this match in a battle to death or submission. As background, assume that prior to the tournament you received 10 minutes of training on every weapon. The time listed is the amount of time before the match where you learn what the weaponry and venue is.

Venue - Contestant 1 is at the top of an upward-moving escalator and Contestant 2 is at the bottom. The escalator is the only space in the venue.
Starting Distance - 99 feet

Fire Me Boy!

Main Weapon - Pirate cutlass
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 5 Minutes
Special Factors - You have been blood doping in anticipation of the fight (boosting your red blood cell count for higher endurance)

CHENZ A!

Main Weapon - Chain Saw
Backup Weapon - None

Prep Time - 7 Minutes
Special Factors - Snowshoes are tied to your feet
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Old 07-06-2018, 09:17 AM   #2
Hangin'WithMahomes Hangin'WithMahomes is offline
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Normally I would side with chain saw over cutlass, but the snow shoes tied to teh feet of CHENZ A! are the deciding factor here and Fire Me Boy! comes away the victor.
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Old 07-06-2018, 09:18 AM   #3
Hangin'WithMahomes Hangin'WithMahomes is offline
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Add in FMB is swinging downward while C A is forced to swing upward (which I missed) and it's even easier to see who the victor should be.
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Old 07-06-2018, 09:19 AM   #4
lawrenceRaider lawrenceRaider is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hangin'WithMahomes View Post
Normally I would side with chain saw over cutlass, but the snow shoes tied to teh feet of CHENZ A! are the deciding factor here and Fire Me Boy! comes away the victor.
They are in a damn escalator, I think the chain saw still wins
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Old 07-06-2018, 09:42 AM   #5
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Alright, this is how this happens:

The two of them sweat nervously as the escalator draws them closer to combat. Both weapons ready, they clash at the center of the escalator. The Chainsaw is intimidating, but too heavy to be nimble, as Chenza swings clumsly and the two weapons collide.

The chainsaw breaks the cutlass in half, and the force knocks the the sword from Fire Me's hands, but one of the links on the chain breaks as well, rendering the chainsaw useless....

On the 2nd pass they are forced into hand to hand combat. Fire Me Boy is able to outlast Chenza because of his blood doping and carb loading from a delicious plate of home made pasta. Chenza wears out and Fire Me Boy is eventually able to throw him over the edge of the escalator. Chenza gets impaled on half the cutlass that's protruding from the ground.
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Old 07-06-2018, 09:43 AM   #6
LoneWolf LoneWolf is offline
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Snowshoes on an escalator?! Cue the keystone cops music. He probably kills himself fallng down with the chainsaw running.
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Old 07-06-2018, 09:52 AM   #7
The Franchise The Franchise is offline
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Couldn't CHENZ just use the chainsaw to trim the snowshoes down to a smaller size?
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Old 07-06-2018, 09:56 AM   #8
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
Alright, this is how this happens:

The two of them sweat nervously as the escalator draws them closer to combat. Both weapons ready, they clash at the center of the escalator. The Chainsaw is intimidating, but too heavy to be nimble, as Chenza swings clumsly and the two weapons collide.

The chainsaw breaks the cutlass in half, and the force knocks the the sword from Fire Me's hands, but one of the links on the chain breaks as well, rendering the chainsaw useless....

On the 2nd pass they are forced into hand to hand combat. Fire Me Boy is able to outlast Chenza because of his blood doping and carb loading from a delicious plate of home made pasta. Chenza wears out and Fire Me Boy is eventually able to throw him over the edge of the escalator. Chenza gets impaled on half the cutlass that's protruding from the ground.


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Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-06-2018, 10:24 AM   #9
Graystoke Graystoke is offline
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Could we be more specific on the blood doping?

EPO?
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Old 07-06-2018, 10:31 AM   #10
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 14 - Fire Me Boy! versus CHENZ A!
If CHENZ A!痴 chainsaw is anything like mine, he spends his entire 7 minutes prep time trying to start the chainsaw and wears himself out. It still isn稚 started at start time, and I charge down the escalator while he continues to pull the cord. With no weapon and a sore arm, I effectively dispatch CHENZ A!
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Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.Fire Me Boy! is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 07-06-2018, 10:52 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graystoke View Post
Could we be more specific on the blood doping?

EPO?
Whatever Peyton Manning used.
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Old 07-06-2018, 10:53 AM   #12
loochy loochy is offline
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FMB isn't the most agile guy these days. I think Chenza can finish him off quickly.
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Old 07-06-2018, 10:59 AM   #13
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loochy View Post
FMB isn't the most agile guy these days. I think Chenza can finish him off quickly.
Posted via Mobile Device


I知 able to move around. The doc wants me in the chair, but life or death on the line, I知 on my feet!
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Old 07-06-2018, 11:11 AM   #14
ModSocks ModSocks is offline
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Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy! View Post
I知 able to move around. The doc wants me in the chair, but life or death on the line, I知 on my feet!
Wait...are you the guy with the bunny ear feet?
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Old 07-06-2018, 11:13 AM   #15
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Detoxing View Post
Wait...are you the guy with the bunny ear feet?


Yes. But I知 able to walk well, and this is an enclosed space.
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