Bad news

[Lonewolf Ed]

SimplyRed started a thread about me not long ago. I thought I'd start one with the latest. I got very bad news today. My colon cancer got into my liver and the doc said it is stage 4. She said it can't be cured. Without treatment, I might last 10 weeks. Even with chemo, the best I could hope for is maybe 3 years. I'm scheduled to have a port put in tomorrow, Tuesday, at 1 pm. They start me on 3 types of chemo on Thursday.

[Dante84]

Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed

Well, I've lived a strange little life compared to most I guess. I never got married and have no kids, but I would have been a good dad. Kids seem to love me. I've had kids I never saw before run up and hug my leg while their mothers looked stunned because the kid is shy around strangers, kids will smile at me and say hello in the store, stuff like that. Living my life alone often brought me down, but I fought to become positive, or at least less negative, and got there when I was 30. I began actively trying to savor whatever joys I had, small or large, and letting that feeling soak in.

I have stood on mountainsides and gazed over lush valleys and rivers. I have breathed deep of clean mountain air and drank water so pure I could feel it doing good things inside of me. I have eaten peaches so good that I was in awe. I have savored beers so finely crafted that I gave thanks for being alive. I have seen sunsets and sunrises with so many levels of color that I couldn't even describe. I've felt the soothing cool air come off the North Sea and gazed across the waves. I have felt joy savoring what was for me the perfect spring day, listening to the sounds of happy birds singing. I have savored the autumn and marvelled at the changing colors of the leaves in the trees. I have enjoyed warming up by a fireplace after a walk on a winter day. I have stood in fields bathed in the light of a full moon on a summer night. I have stood in awe before medieval castles and felt great joy exploring and learning about them. I have stood in a graveyard in the Danish village of Vrensted and read the names of my great-great-grandparents and great-grandparents and felt the connection of my family down in my very bones.

I have seen and done many things in this life that I feel blessed to have been able to do. I was hoping I'd be doing it for many more years, though.

Thank you. It sounds like you've lived a splendid, beautiful life and experienced many wonderful things so far. No reason that should stop now.

And, though you mention loneliness, which we all suffer sometimes, you should know that you are valued here.

I know you don't post very much, but its nice when you do. For the folks to get to know you better, and glean insight from your life experiences, would you be comfortable if we started an "Ask Lonewolf Ed Anything Thread?"

Again, you are valued and cared about.

[KChiefs1]

Smoke some dope because it seems to help. Take care.

[Fritz88]

All the best. You are a strong man and you will beat it.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Lonewolf Ed]

Originally Posted by DA_T_84

Thank you. It sounds like you've lived a splendid, beautiful life and experienced many wonderful things so far. No reason that should stop now.

And, though you mention loneliness, which we all suffer sometimes, you should know that you are valued here.

I know you don't post very much, but its nice when you do. For the folks to get to know you better, and glean insight from your life experiences, would you be comfortable if we started an "Ask Lonewolf Ed Anything Thread?"

Again, you are valued and cared about.

That is fine if you want to do that. I can't promise how much I will be on here after they start that nasty chem mess on me, though. They said it would be 3 kinds of it at once. I'm terrified of that, to be honest.

[HoneyBadger]

Tough news. Prayers sent.

[TimBone]

Ed, it sounds like you've lived a wonderful life. I'm extremely sorry to hear the news. Positive vibes are all important right now.

It's a normal feeling to be terrified of the upcoming treatment, but I'm sure you've been terrified of something in the past. So, I'm sure you'll push through.

The ask Ed anything thread sounds like a great idea. I already was gonna ask you about those craft beers anyways.

[Just Passin' By]

Prayers sent

[Eleazar]

I'm sorry to hear this Ed. You should tell us some more of your life's story when you have time. I'm sure everyone would like to hear more about the person behind the username.

The course is laid out for you now, and you can testify to people by showing them how you live as you fight. You probably even have a unique power to touch lives now. This isn't what you wanted to hear, but you have the grace of having time to make your mark.

Thanks for sharing with us, and please keep doing so

[Dante84]

Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed

That is fine if you want to do that. I can't promise how much I will be on here after they start that nasty chem mess on me, though. They said it would be 3 kinds of it at once. I'm terrified of that, to be honest.

Great, I was hoping you would say yes.

Don't feel obligated whatsoever. It's your thread. Answer what you want, ignore what you want, bump when you want.

[teedubya]

We love you, Ed! Imagine healing light into your areas that need the most love. Stay strong. You can beat this, man. You're a tough sum'bitch. In a meditation that I listen to, I imagine golden light from the earth up into my feet and up through my body... and white healing light from heaven shining down from above.

That visualization may bring you some peace of mind... to heal you need peace of mind.

[DaFace]

Sorry to hear this, man. Thinking of you.

[BigMeatballDave]

This is awful. So sorry.

I'm going through my own cancer thing and please message me if you'd like to.

Talk it out and remain positive. We will beat this.

[listopencil]

I've had some experience with this and I just wanted to say:

You don't have an expiration date stamped on your foot. The doctors will guess and estimate but they don't really know what's going to happen. All they know is what they've seen before, and they've never seen you before.

[SuperChief]

So very, very sorry to hear this news, Ed. All I can really say that might hold some semblance of meaning is try your very best to stay positive and think happy thoughts.

We should all observe this instance as a shining example that even though we can't see a poster's face or hear their voice, they're still a person that feels, breathes, hurts, and loves just like everyone else. Don't be a dick just to be a dick - you never never know what people are dealing with.

All the best to you, man!

[BWillie]

Originally Posted by Lonewolf Ed

Well, I've lived a strange little life compared to most I guess. I never got married and have no kids, but I would have been a good dad. Kids seem to love me. I've had kids I never saw before run up and hug my leg while their mothers looked stunned because the kid is shy around strangers, kids will smile at me and say hello in the store, stuff like that. Living my life alone often brought me down, but I fought to become positive, or at least less negative, and got there when I was 30. I began actively trying to savor whatever joys I had, small or large, and letting that feeling soak in.

I have stood on mountainsides and gazed over lush valleys and rivers. I have breathed deep of clean mountain air and drank water so pure I could feel it doing good things inside of me. I have eaten peaches so good that I was in awe. I have savored beers so finely crafted that I gave thanks for being alive. I have seen sunsets and sunrises with so many levels of color that I couldn't even describe. I've felt the soothing cool air come off the North Sea and gazed across the waves. I have felt joy savoring what was for me the perfect spring day, listening to the sounds of happy birds singing. I have savored the autumn and marvelled at the changing colors of the leaves in the trees. I have enjoyed warming up by a fireplace after a walk on a winter day. I have stood in fields bathed in the light of a full moon on a summer night. I have stood in awe before medieval castles and felt great joy exploring and learning about them. I have stood in a graveyard in the Danish village of Vrensted and read the names of my great-great-grandparents and great-grandparents and felt the connection of my family down in my very bones.

I have seen and done many things in this life that I feel blessed to have been able to do. I was hoping I'd be doing it for many more years, though.

That was beautiful.