Home and Auto My neighbor is moving.

**Rain Man** · 05-25-2018, 12:32 PM

I've lived in my house for 23 years, and I've always had the same two next door neighbors. Now one of them is going to move and I'm going to have to break in a new neighbor. I don't like the pace of change that I'm seeing.

I don't know what to expect. What will my new neighbor be like?

Poll coming in a moving van that will park in front of my house.

Halfcan · 05-25-2018, 12:36 PM

I think they made an Academy Award Winning movie about your situation?

Graystoke · 05-25-2018, 12:39 PM

The best way to break in new neighbors is show them who is in charge.
I suggest the day they move in, show up with homemade cookies. Right when they reach for the cookies hit them on the head and say "Bad Neighbor!"
Tip: Rolled up newspaper is a good object to use as the hitting device.

**Rain Man** · 05-25-2018, 12:45 PM

I like the rolled up newspaper idea. I need to make sure that they know I'm in control of the block.

**loochy** · 05-25-2018, 12:47 PM

1. buy the old house

2. demolish old house

3. enjoy the extra space from the now empty lot

4. profit

5. buy an apricot bmw

**Buehler445** · 05-25-2018, 12:48 PM

Eh. Just be hanging out in your garage with the door open when they roll up in the van. Sets the right tone.

/Takes cover for the Dongerplosion.

BlackHelicopters · 05-25-2018, 12:50 PM

Drone on constantly about your Apricot BMW to put the fear in them. Also loathing.

**Rain Man** · 05-25-2018, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy

1. buy the old house

2. demolish old house

3. enjoy the extra space from the now empty lot

4. profit

5. buy an apricot bmw

I've considered buy the house and then doing a big human-sized hamster tunnel to connect our houses. That would be fun. But I don't need the room.

MarkDavis'Haircut · 05-25-2018, 12:55 PM

Very enjoyable poll.

Kudos to you for my laugh of the day.

WhawhaWhat · 05-25-2018, 12:57 PM

If it does turn out to be a registered sex offender who is a teacher who scored with her student, please post pics so we can judge her guilt.

**Rain Man** · 05-25-2018, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carr4MVP

Very enjoyable poll.

Kudos to you for my laugh of the day.

I'm glad you're enjoying the poll, but I'm not. Early returns indicate that my new neighbor will be a stoner Broncos fan with a yippy dog.

**Rain Man** · 05-25-2018, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhawhaWhat

If it does turn out to be a registered sex offender who is a teacher who scored with her student, please post pics so we can judge her guilt.

Oh, absolutely. And I'll let everyone know if she's teaching adult ed classes now at the local community college.

BlackHelicopters · 05-25-2018, 01:10 PM

Please post pics of scorchingly hot college girl.

**Rain Man** · 05-25-2018, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackHelicopters

Please post pics of scorchingly hot college girl.

I'm rooting for twins, but I don't want to get my hopes too high.

banecat · 05-25-2018, 01:40 PM

Hope for the best. But the worst will happen. Three out of the four houses on the street and across the street have changed owners in the past three years. A fifth will happen soon as the neighbor directly across the street has put up a for sale sign. On each side the new neighbors are worse than the old ones, but not as bad as across the street on the corner

The neighbor on one side has a dog that barks all of the time and mows his lawn twice a week. On the other side they own at least four cars, every Friday he has to wash his primary car while listening to accordion, tuba, and keyboard radio, they put there trash out early on Sunday for some reason so if it's windy it blows over here in the yard, doesn't take care of the yard, but at least they fixed the broken garage door after two years, but have a barking dog

The best neighbor beats out khaki pants man, all three of the lawnmower men but one moved was replaced by the only decent new neighbor and the soon to be moving lawnmower man 2, camaro man, "Asianed out" car man, and vette man, Winnebago man who parks it in the driveway so that he has to have three cars in the street, the globetrotters who play basketball 23 hours a day, and a couple of others that I don't like

That brings us the lawn ornament man. It's bad enough that the motorcycle that he uses every warm day from April 1st to October 1st has a cold engine that has to be revved every morning before work with the loud pipes saving lives thing, but he only has room for his big tire truck and jet ski in his driveway. So his daughter and wife have to park in the street clogging that bend in the road with living on the corner. Then he leaves his damn deflated christmas decorations in the yard until a few weeks ago. I haven't checked, but I think that even though they're off the lights are still up

It's like an apartment complex over here now. I don't think that it'd be that different to move a few blocks over into the townhouses with all of the Latin American Americans. That felt good, end rant

View Poll Results: What attributes will my new neighbor(s) have? Check all that apply.
Will be “distant friendly”, waving but seldom chatting	18	36.00%
Will be a Chiefs fan	3	6.00%
Will be a cult	7	14.00%
Will be a member of Chiefsplanet	1	2.00%
Will be a recluse, never leaving the house	5	10.00%
Will be a stoner	17	34.00%
Will be a vegan	10	20.00%
Will be an avid Broncos fan	24	48.00%
Will be retired	3	6.00%
Will be swingers who propose wife swapping	7	14.00%
Will be the Barney and Betty to my Fried and Wilma and we'll do everything together	2	4.00%
Will be very interested in unexplained phenomena like Bigfoot and UFOs	6	12.00%
Will be Von Miller	6	12.00%
Will be more than 15 years younger than me	14	28.00%
Will come into my house unannounced and take food out of my refrigerator	6	12.00%
Will contain a registered sex offender (not a teacher who scored with a student)	9	18.00%
Will contain a registered sex offender who is a teacher who scored with her student.	7	14.00%
Will contain an adult child who never launched	10	20.00%
Will eventually hop a freighter to Venezuela with me	3	6.00%
Will give out amazing candy at Halloween, like 16 ounce Hershey bars	4	8.00%
Will grow large quantities of marijuana in the house	9	18.00%
Will hang out on my porch with me, drinking Pibb Xtra and commenting on pedestrians	3	6.00%
Will have a constantly barking dog	13	26.00%
Will have a Duggar-like family composition	3	6.00%
Will have a scorchingly hot college-age daughter	5	10.00%
Will have a telescope pointed toward my window	8	16.00%
Will have a weird tech job that I can't even make conversation about, so I can only nod when they tell me	5	10.00%
Will have awesome Christmas lights	3	6.00%
Will have weird and dull hobbies that don’t interest me at all.	10	20.00%
Will include an attractive mature woman who does naked yoga	5	10.00%
Will include at least one nude sunbather woman	3	6.00%
Will invite us onto their yacht for epic adventures	1	2.00%
Will let me play with their cat.	4	8.00%
Will like my wife, but not me.	11	22.00%
Will maintain a world-class yard	2	4.00%
Will move out again within two years	8	16.00%
Will mow their lawn in Bermuda shorts and sandals with socks	6	12.00%
Will never acknowledge my existence	7	14.00%
Will not speak English	6	12.00%
Will own a loud motorcycle that they rev early in the morning	6	12.00%
Will paint their house in zebra stripes or camo	3	6.00%
Will put out planters that are made from old tires or barrels	7	14.00%
Will regularly bring me delicious homemade pies	2	4.00%
Will rent out an AirBnB room	6	12.00%
Will restore my faith in humanity with their kindness	1	2.00%
Will shovel my walk of snow just to be nice	1	2.00%
Will sit on a couch on their porch, wearing a wife beater shirt and glaring at me	11	22.00%
Will take issue with our fence placement	11	22.00%
I think the house will sit vacant and never be occupied.	2	4.00%
I think your neighbors are imaginary and you really live next door to an empty lot.	4	8.00%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 50. You may not vote on this poll

05-25-2018, 12:32 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3348491 VARSITY	My neighbor is moving. I've lived in my house for 23 years, and I've always had the same two next door neighbors. Now one of them is going to move and I'm going to have to break in a new neighbor. I don't like the pace of change that I'm seeing. I don't know what to expect. What will my new neighbor be like? Poll coming in a moving van that will park in front of my house.
Posts: 141,251

05-25-2018, 12:36 PM	#2
Halfcan In Search of a Life Join Date: Aug 2005 Casino cash: $7327995	I think they made an Academy Award Winning movie about your situation? Attached Thumbnails
Posts: 43,200

05-25-2018, 12:39 PM	#3
Graystoke MVP Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Driftless Region Casino cash: $955564	The best way to break in new neighbors is show them who is in charge. I suggest the day they move in, show up with homemade cookies. Right when they reach for the cookies hit them on the head and say "Bad Neighbor!" Tip: Rolled up newspaper is a good object to use as the hitting device.
Posts: 8,693

05-25-2018, 12:45 PM	#4
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3348491 VARSITY	I like the rolled up newspaper idea. I need to make sure that they know I'm in control of the block. __________________ I'm putting random letters here as a celebration of free speech: xigrakgrah misorojeq rkemeseit.
Posts: 141,251

05-25-2018, 12:47 PM	#5
loochy Hey Loochy, I'm hooome! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: PooPooKaKaPeePeeShire Casino cash: $2170752	1. buy the old house 2. demolish old house 3. enjoy the extra space from the now empty lot 4. profit 5. buy an apricot bmw
Posts: 40,449	1 0

05-25-2018, 12:48 PM	#6
Buehler445 Supporter Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Scott City KS Casino cash: $2344734	Eh. Just be hanging out in your garage with the door open when they roll up in the van. Sets the right tone. /Takes cover for the Dongerplosion.
Posts: 56,768

05-25-2018, 12:50 PM	#7
BlackHelicopters Spiraling down the Drain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $2740588	Drone on constantly about your Apricot BMW to put the fear in them. Also loathing. __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
Posts: 31,661

05-25-2018, 12:55 PM	#9
MarkDavis'Haircut MVP Join Date: Aug 2017 Casino cash: $5050400	Very enjoyable poll. Kudos to you for my laugh of the day.
Posts: 13,521

05-25-2018, 12:57 PM	#10
WhawhaWhat MVP Join Date: Feb 2013 Casino cash: $1611116	If it does turn out to be a registered sex offender who is a teacher who scored with her student, please post pics so we can judge her guilt.
Posts: 17,196	1 0

05-25-2018, 01:10 PM	#13
BlackHelicopters Spiraling down the Drain Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $2740588	Please post pics of scorchingly hot college girl. __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator, but never think it applies to my family." "Fredo. You are my brother, and I love you. But never take sides against the Family again. Ever." 2019 Adopt a Chief - Travis Kelce #87
Posts: 31,661

05-25-2018, 01:40 PM	#15
banecat Banned Join Date: Jan 2018 Location: Johnson County, Kansa Casino cash: $10000400	Hope for the best. But the worst will happen. Three out of the four houses on the street and across the street have changed owners in the past three years. A fifth will happen soon as the neighbor directly across the street has put up a for sale sign. On each side the new neighbors are worse than the old ones, but not as bad as across the street on the corner The neighbor on one side has a dog that barks all of the time and mows his lawn twice a week. On the other side they own at least four cars, every Friday he has to wash his primary car while listening to accordion, tuba, and keyboard radio, they put there trash out early on Sunday for some reason so if it's windy it blows over here in the yard, doesn't take care of the yard, but at least they fixed the broken garage door after two years, but have a barking dog The best neighbor beats out khaki pants man, all three of the lawnmower men but one moved was replaced by the only decent new neighbor and the soon to be moving lawnmower man 2, camaro man, "Asianed out" car man, and vette man, Winnebago man who parks it in the driveway so that he has to have three cars in the street, the globetrotters who play basketball 23 hours a day, and a couple of others that I don't like That brings us the lawn ornament man. It's bad enough that the motorcycle that he uses every warm day from April 1st to October 1st has a cold engine that has to be revved every morning before work with the loud pipes saving lives thing, but he only has room for his big tire truck and jet ski in his driveway. So his daughter and wife have to park in the street clogging that bend in the road with living on the corner. Then he leaves his damn deflated christmas decorations in the yard until a few weeks ago. I haven't checked, but I think that even though they're off the lights are still up It's like an apartment complex over here now. I don't think that it'd be that different to move a few blocks over into the townhouses with all of the Latin American Americans. That felt good, end rant
Posts: 4,468