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Old 02-18-2005, 10:36 PM  
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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I just walked in on a coworker...

whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like fucking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick fucker.

Last edited by Fire Me Boy!; 02-19-2005 at 07:11 AM..
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Old 02-21-2005, 12:07 AM   #106
jcroft jcroft is offline
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Originally Posted by Metrolike
Sperm dies instantly if the temperature isn't right. Still gross as fuck. Piss is sterile, but you don't drink it (well most of us don't).
No doubt. It's gross. That's why I said wipe that shit down.

But saying things like "I'd be using the cleaning equlivent of napalm" is a bit silly, and seems more homophobic than anything else.

Out of curiosity: if a hot girl had been masturbating to porn in your chair, would you guys have been as concerned about using industrial strength cleaners?

My point is simply that cum in your chair is gross, but it's not a health risk. That's all.
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Old 02-21-2005, 12:12 AM   #107
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcroft
Out of curiosity: if a hot girl had been masturbating to porn in your chair, would you guys have been as concerned about using industrial strength cleaners?
No, I'd ask if I could watch.
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Old 02-21-2005, 12:43 AM   #108
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcroft
No doubt. It's gross. That's why I said wipe that shit down.

But saying things like "I'd be using the cleaning equlivent of napalm" is a bit silly, and seems more homophobic than anything else.

Out of curiosity: if a hot girl had been masturbating to porn in your chair, would you guys have been as concerned about using industrial strength cleaners?

My point is simply that cum in your chair is gross, but it's not a health risk. That's all.
I would consider it a health risk in that, if I saw cum in my chair, I would either die or that mofo would die.

Geez, at least have the common courtesy to hit the waste basket.
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Old 02-21-2005, 12:47 AM   #109
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jcroft
No doubt. It's gross. That's why I said wipe that shit down.

But saying things like "I'd be using the cleaning equlivent of napalm" is a bit silly, and seems more homophobic than anything else.
There's a huge difference between hating gay people and not wanting to drown your hands in some guys d!ck-snot...
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I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 02-21-2005, 12:48 AM   #110
Rausch Rausch is offline
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Originally Posted by J Diddy
Geez, at least have the common courtesy to hit the waste basket.
At home...
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I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 02-21-2005, 08:15 AM   #111
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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I'm not concerned about the health risks, there are none. I'm not concerned about getting fired -- it's a small company and I'm the ONLY person here that would have any frickin' clue as to how to track something like this (that's why I'm the tech guy). I'm only concerned about the "ewwww" factor, which hits about a 9.8. Although, I'm not concerned about spunk in my chair because apparently, I interrupted him.
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Old 02-21-2005, 08:15 AM   #112
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch
At home...
No sh*t... couldn't agree more.
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Old 02-21-2005, 08:25 AM   #113
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Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
I'm not concerned about the health risks, there are none. I'm not concerned about getting fired -- it's a small company and I'm the ONLY person here that would have any frickin' clue as to how to track something like this (that's why I'm the tech guy). I'm only concerned about the "ewwww" factor, which hits about a 9.8. Although, I'm not concerned about spunk in my chair because apparently, I interrupted him.
This time.
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Old 02-21-2005, 08:26 AM   #114
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
Although, I'm not concerned about spunk in my chair because apparently, I interrupted him.
THIS TIME... heh. Think of all the other times that your hand has touched the mouse after his spunk episodes. hahah ahah ahah ahah
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Old 02-21-2005, 08:27 AM   #115
Joe Seahawk Joe Seahawk is offline
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You can clean your monitor with this..err these..

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Old 02-21-2005, 08:29 AM   #116
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Originally Posted by milkman
This time.

whoa. that was a goocher.

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Old 02-21-2005, 09:34 AM   #117
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Seahawk
You can clean your monitor with this..err these..

WARNING boobie pic inside.

http://www.25-88.com/clean_your_monitor/brush.swf
That's incredible.




So, this morning has been, to say the least, awkward. The perp (perv?) has done a REALLY good job of being in another room all day so far... we'll see how long this keeps up, no pun intended.
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Old 02-21-2005, 09:35 AM   #118
Fire Me Boy! Fire Me Boy! is offline
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This morning, I walked in... he's in the office. I just smiled and said, "What's up?" He looked at me like a deer in the headlights... silence for probably 3 seconds. Then, he just nodded.
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Old 02-21-2005, 09:37 AM   #119
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Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!
This morning, I walked in... he's in the office. I just smiled and said, "What's up?" He looked at me like a deer in the headlights... silence for probably 3 seconds. Then, he just nodded.
Instead of saying, "What's Up?" You should have asked him, "Can I give you a hand with anything today?"
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Old 02-21-2005, 09:41 AM   #120
teedubya teedubya is offline
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Originally Posted by CosmicPal
Instead of saying, "What's Up?" You should have asked him, "Can I give you a hand with anything today?"
Um, that might imply he wants to help him whack off... dunno if that is good advice. heh.
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