Poop Why Maine is the worst f'ing state in the Union - Page 10

**Rain Man** · 11:12 PM

I made a trip to Maine this week, and the state sucks. It's terrible. Here's why it's terrible, and I'm sure there are other reasons.

Toll roads. You can't even build your own roads so you make people have to stop and pay every ten minutes. Manage your money better, Maine.

Lobster rolls. Seriously, what is this? They're advertised everywhere and I finally got one, and it's just some plain lobster on a bun with some lettuce. Nothing else. Why is it called a roll? It's just a sandwich and not a very creative sandwich at that. I've made ham sandwiches at home that boasted more complexity. There's not even any drawn butter for the lobster. What a joke.

Maine has stupid geographic names. Wassamattamekong. Mustafaateanorca. Wakkawakkamoosebegone. Grow up, people. Give your stupid cities names that are reasonable.

Their state patrol gives innocent people speeding tickets just because they're driving in a rental car with Illinois plates. They have poorly marked speed limits and then give innocent people tickets who think that they're traveling less than six miles over the speed limit, and they then get informed that, 'nooooo, you're more than 10 mph so I can give you a ticket and then go sit in my car and watch moose porn for the rest of my shift.' This happens even if the visitor has not had a speeding ticket in 37 years.

No one wants to be near Maine. It's like the smelly kid in the cafeteria. Only one state will even touch it. That's practically impossible for a state that's not an island. New Hampshire lost a bet or something.

The best football player that sorry state ever produced is Jovan Belcher. Just run with that thought for a few minutes.

They had a scenic overlook of the highest peak in Maine. It's 5,264 feet. My house is higher than that. Seriously. My house is at 5,300 feet. Screw you and your tiny mountains, Maine.

Statehood? No one wanted Maine. It only got in because we wanted Missouri. Maine got in because of a compromise, not because we wanted it. Maine is the ugly girl trying to get into the night club with her hot friend.

And on that note, where was Maine during the revolution? People in New Hampshire and Massachusetts were risking their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to secure freedom and democracy. People in Maine were just standing around in their red plaid writing tickets to revolutionary travelers.

Maine killed all of the local Indians with their interesting languages.

Seriously, give that monosyllabic dump back to Canada. It's useless.

**Bugeater** · 09-19-2018, 03:19 PM

Great, BEP broke the damn thread

Eleazar · 09-19-2018, 03:20 PM

What happened? The thread has MAIDS now

BucEyedPea · 09-19-2018, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

You're only seeing the Maine they want you to see. You're not seeing the highway patrol abuse and the underground lobster fights and the bed and breakfast trafficking networks. Most Canadian terrorists enter the U.S. via Maine, and while I was driving I heard a news story on the radio about a lobster boat operator who was sentenced for threatening two guys on a skiff. Is that the type of America you want?

They were probably stealing his lobsters or lobster traps. They're lucky they didn't get shot.

I drove from Bangor to Quebec city and it was a beautiful drive, tho' I was pissed about having to do it at first when our little plane broke down.

Can also take a ferry to Nova Scotia.

**Bugeater** · 09-19-2018, 03:26 PM

FIX YOUR DAMN POST BEP

**Rain Man** · 09-19-2018, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

They were probably stealing his lobsters or lobster traps. They're lucky they didn't get shot.

I drove from Bangor to Quebec city and it was a beautiful drive, tho' I was pissed about having to do it at first when our little plane broke down.

Can also take a ferry to Nova Scotia.

I was in the middle of a town dodging senior citizens, but I think the lobster boat actually rammed the skiff. They said something about the skiff guys climbing onto a pontoon. It made me laugh. That's not the type of crimes we see in Colorado.

highBOLTage · 09-19-2018, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stewie

I think Rainman needs to check in with his gynecologist and adjust his menopausal hormone therapy.

Maine is a great place to visit. We do a NE vacation about every 5 years, on average.

1) It's not a state to drive around looking for something at every corner.
2) Don't order a lobster roll. What the hell? It's Maine. That's for street carts in Boston that sell bread, mayo and some pre-cooked lobster.
3) You have to know what you're doing. Do some research.
4) There are some of the most beautiful B&B's right on the Atlantic.
5) Do some research.

I'd go on, but Rainman has his mind made up that Maine sucks. So be it.

Different strokes for different folks. Some people like rugged coastline and fresh seafood others like container ships in the middle of the ocean and Panda Express.

highBOLTage · 09-19-2018, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

L.O.L.

Come sailing with me next time on my brothers sail boat and we'll scuba dive for 3 fresh lobstahs to cook up for the most magnificent lobstah' roll you ev'r had. Pick fresh mussels of the rocky cliffs, cook 'em in wine. Finish it all off with a Maine blueberry cobbler. you can bring y'er wife. It just means we'd have to catch 6 lobstahs.

It is illegal to scuba dive for lobster here in Maine. Trap only. At least $200/pop if caught.

stevieray · 09-19-2018, 04:43 PM

Stephen King?

BucEyedPea · 09-19-2018, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by highBOLTage

It is illegal to scuba dive for lobster here in Maine. Trap only. At least $200/pop if caught.

I didn't know that but I wasn't being serious about actually diving for one. I got the idea though, because my ex did it, but I think it was Gloucester Mass. It was a big one too. Said it was delicious.

I've since called my brother to ask and he didn't know either. I looked it up and found NH outlaws it too.

Okay then, we'll lay some traps and have a few beers while we wait.

BucEyedPea · 09-19-2018, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevieray

Stephen King?

My brother has run into him. Said he's weird. A true Mainiac.

Eleazar · 09-19-2018, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by highBOLTage

Different strokes for different folks. Some people like rugged coastline and fresh seafood others like container ships in the middle of the ocean and Panda Express.

Holy crap, we have a Mainah here? Welcome.

Frazod · 09-19-2018, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by highBOLTage

Different strokes for different folks. Some people like rugged coastline and fresh seafood others like container ships in the middle of the ocean and Panda Express.

Ouch.

Deberg_1990 · 09-19-2018, 09:21 PM

Why can’t I pump my own gas in New Jersey damnit??

**Rain Man** · 09-19-2018, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by highBOLTage

Different strokes for different folks. Some people like rugged coastline and fresh seafood others like container ships in the middle of the ocean and Panda Express.

And in retrospect, Maine only robbed me of $129 while Vietnam robbed me of $200.

Maybe the lesson here is that I should travel less.

View Poll Results: Is Maine the worst f'ing state in the Union?
Yes.	5	15.63%
If I could trade Maine for a Canadian province, I would, even if it's that French one.	11	34.38%
I don't know anything about Maine. I only go to interesting places that don't have speed traps.	23	71.88%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 32. You may not vote on this poll

09-17-2018, 10:56 PM
Rain Man NFL's #1 Ermines Fan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $3408491 VARSITY	Why Maine is the worst f'ing state in the Union I made a trip to Maine this week, and the state sucks. It's terrible. Here's why it's terrible, and I'm sure there are other reasons. Toll roads. You can't even build your own roads so you make people have to stop and pay every ten minutes. Manage your money better, Maine. Lobster rolls. Seriously, what is this? They're advertised everywhere and I finally got one, and it's just some plain lobster on a bun with some lettuce. Nothing else. Why is it called a roll? It's just a sandwich and not a very creative sandwich at that. I've made ham sandwiches at home that boasted more complexity. There's not even any drawn butter for the lobster. What a joke. Maine has stupid geographic names. Wassamattamekong. Mustafaateanorca. Wakkawakkamoosebegone. Grow up, people. Give your stupid cities names that are reasonable. Their state patrol gives innocent people speeding tickets just because they're driving in a rental car with Illinois plates. They have poorly marked speed limits and then give innocent people tickets who think that they're traveling less than six miles over the speed limit, and they then get informed that, 'nooooo, you're more than 10 mph so I can give you a ticket and then go sit in my car and watch moose porn for the rest of my shift.' This happens even if the visitor has not had a speeding ticket in 37 years. No one wants to be near Maine. It's like the smelly kid in the cafeteria. Only one state will even touch it. That's practically impossible for a state that's not an island. New Hampshire lost a bet or something. The best football player that sorry state ever produced is Jovan Belcher. Just run with that thought for a few minutes. They had a scenic overlook of the highest peak in Maine. It's 5,264 feet. My house is higher than that. Seriously. My house is at 5,300 feet. Screw you and your tiny mountains, Maine. Statehood? No one wanted Maine. It only got in because we wanted Missouri. Maine got in because of a compromise, not because we wanted it. Maine is the ugly girl trying to get into the night club with her hot friend. And on that note, where was Maine during the revolution? People in New Hampshire and Massachusetts were risking their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor to secure freedom and democracy. People in Maine were just standing around in their red plaid writing tickets to revolutionary travelers. Maine killed all of the local Indians with their interesting languages. Seriously, give that monosyllabic dump back to Canada. It's useless. Last edited by Rain Man; 09-17-2018 at 11:12 PM..
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09-19-2018, 03:19 PM	#136
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $6252680	Great, BEP broke the damn thread
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09-19-2018, 03:20 PM	#137
Eleazar Beyond the Rapids Join Date: May 2003 Location: Langley, VA Casino cash: $-370000	What happened? The thread has MAIDS now
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09-19-2018, 03:26 PM	#139
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $6252680	FIX YOUR DAMN POST BEP
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09-19-2018, 04:43 PM	#143
stevieray best in the biz Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Under Pressure Casino cash: $2675273	Stephen King?
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09-19-2018, 09:21 PM	#148
Deberg_1990 In Search of a Life Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: San Antonio Tx. Casino cash: $3914454	Why can’t I pump my own gas in New Jersey damnit?? __________________ Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning: Matt once made a very nice play in Seattle where he spun away from a pass rusher and hit Bowe off his back foot for a first down. One of the best plays Matt has ever made.
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